black and became a quiet；
even whoosh that sounded like it was ing from the inside of my ears
〃Bella？〃 Jacob asked； his voice still tense； but not as wild as before。
〃Bells； honey； can you hear me？〃
The contents of my head swished and rolled sickeningly； like they'd joined the
rough water
〃How long has she been unconscious？〃 someone else asked。
The voice that was not Jacob's shocked me； jarred me into a more focused
awareness。
I realized that I was still。 There was no tug of the current on me—the
heaving was inside my head。 The
surface under me was flat and motionless。 It felt grainy against my bare arms。
〃I don't know；〃 Jacob reported； still frantic。 His voice was very close。 Hands
—so warm they had to be
his—brushed wet hair from my cheeks。 〃A few minutes？ It didn't take long to
tow her to the beach。〃
The quiet whooshing inside my ears was not the waves—it was the air moving in
and out of my lungs
again。 Each breath burned—the passageways were as raw as if I'd scrubbed them
out with steel wool。
But I was breathing。
And I was freezing。 A thousand sharp； icy beads were striking my face and
arms； making the cold worse。
〃She's breathing。 She'll e around。 We should get her out of the cold；
though。 I don't like the color
she's turning〃 I recognized Sam's voice this time。
〃You think it's okay to move her？〃
〃She didn't hurt her back or anything when she fell？〃
〃I don't know。〃
They hesitated。
I tried to open my eyes。 It took me a minute； but then I could see the dark；
purple clouds； flinging the
freezing rain down at me。 〃Jake？〃 I croaked。
Jacob's face blocked out the sky。 〃Oh！〃 he gasped； relief washing over his
features。 His eyes were wet
from the rain。 〃Oh； Bella！ Are you okay？ Can you hear me？ Do you hurt
anywhere？〃
〃J…Just m…my throat；〃 I stuttered； my lips quivering from the cold。
〃Let's get you out of here； then；〃 Jacob said。 He slid his arms under me and
lifted me without effort—like
picking up an empty box。 His chest was bare and warm； he hunched his shoulders
to keep the rain off of
me。 My head lolled over his arm。 I stared vacantly back toward the furious
water； beating the sand
behindhim。
〃You got her？〃 I heard Sam ask。
〃Yeah； I'll take it from here。 Get back to the hospital。 I'll join you later。
Thanks； Sam。〃
My head was still rolling。 None of his words sunk in at first。 Sam didn't
answer。 There was no sound； and
I wondered if he were already gone。
The water licked and writhed up the sand after us as Jacob carried me away；
like it was angry that I'd
escaped。 As I stared wearily； a spark of color caught my unfocused eyes—a
small flash of fire was
dancing on the black water； far out in the bay。 The image made no sense； and I
wondered how conscious
I really was。 My head swirled with the memory of the black； churning water—of
being so lost that I
couldn't find up or down。 So lost but somehow Jacob
〃How did you find me？〃 I rasped。
〃I was searching for you；〃 he told me。 He was half…jogging through the rain；
up the beach toward the
road。 〃I followed the tire tracks to your truck； and then I heard you scream
〃 He shuddered。 〃Why
would you jump； Bella？ Didn't you notice that it's turning into a hurricane
out here？ Couldn't you have
waited for me？〃 Anger filled his tone as the relief faded。
〃Sorry；〃 I muttered。 〃It was stupid。〃
〃Yeah； it was really stupid；〃 he agreed； drops of rain shaking free of his
hair as he nodded。 〃Look； do
you mind saving the stupid stuff for when I'm around？ I won't be able to
concentrate if I think you're
jumping off cliffs behind my back。〃
〃Sure；〃 I agreed。 〃No problem。〃 I sounded like a chain…smoker。 I tried to
clear my throat—and then
winced； the throat…clearing felt like stabbing a knife down there。 〃What
happened today？ Did you find
her？〃 It was my turn to shudder； though I wasn't so cold here； right next to
his ridiculous body heat。
Jacob shook his head。 He was still more running than walking as he headed up
the road to his house。
〃No。 She took off into the water—the bloodsuckers have the advantage there。
That's why I raced
home—I was afraid she was going to double back swimming。 You spend so much
time on the beach〃
He trailed off； a catch in his throat。
〃Sam came back with you is everyone else home； too？〃 I hoped they weren't
still out searching for her。
〃Yeah。 Sort of。〃
I tried to read his expression； squinting into the hammering rain。 His eyes
were tight with worry or pain。
The words that hadn't made sense before suddenly did。 〃You said hospital。
Before； to Sam。 Is
someone hurt？ Did she fight you？〃 My voice jumped up an octave； sounding
strange with the hoarseness。
〃No； no。 When we got back； Em was waiting with the news。 It's Harry
Clearwater。 Harry had a heart
attack this morning。〃
〃Harry？〃 I shook my head； trying to absorb what he was staying。 〃Oh； no！ Does
Charlie know？〃
〃Yeah。 He's over there； too； with my dad。〃
〃Is Harry going to be okay？〃
Jacob's eyes tightened again。 〃It doesn't look so great right now。〃
Abruptly； I felt really sick with guilt—felt truly horrible about the
brainless cliff dive。 Nobody needed to
be worrying about me right now。 What a stupid time to be reckless。
〃What can I do？〃 I asked。
At that moment the rain stopped。 I hadn't realized we were already back to
Jacob's house until he
walked through the door。 The storm pounded against the roof。
〃You can stay here；〃 Jacob said as he dumped me on the short couch。 〃I mean it
—right here I'll get you
some dry clothes。〃
I let my eyes adjust to the dark room while Jacob banged around in his
bedroom。 The cramped front
room seemed so empty without Billy； almost desolate。 It was strangely ominous
—probably just because
I knew where he was。
Jacob was back in seconds。 He threw a pile of gray cotton at me。 〃These will
be huge on you； but it's the
best I've got。 I'll； er； step outside so you can change。〃
〃Don't go anywhere。 I'm too tired to move yet。 Just stay with me。〃
Jacob sat on the floor next to me； his back against the couch。 I wondered when
he'd slept last。 He
looked as exhausted as I felt。
He leaned his head on the cushion next to mine and yawned。 〃Guess I could rest
for a minute〃
His eyes closed。 I let mine slide shut； too。
Poor Harry。 Poor Sue。 I knew Charlie was going to be beside himself。 Harry was
one of his best friends。
Despite Jake's negative take on things； I hoped fervently that Harry would
pull through。 For Charlie's
sake。 For Sue's and Leah's and Seth's
Billy's sofa was right next to the radiator； and I was warm now； despite my
soaked clothes。 My lungs
ached in a way that pushed me toward unconsciousness rather than keeping me
awake。 I wondered
vaguely if it was wrong to sleep or was I getting drowning mixed up with
concussions ？ Jacob
began softly snoring； and the sound of it soothed like a lullaby。 I fell
asleep quickly。
For the first time in a very long time； my dream was just a normal dream。 Just
a blurred wandering
through old memories—blinding bright visions of the Phoenix sun； my mother's
face； a ramshackle tree
house； a faded quilt； a wall of mirrors； a flame on the black water I forgot
each of them as soon as the
picture changed。
The last picture was the only one that stuck in my head。 It was meaningless—
just a set on a stage。 A
balcony at night； a painted moon hanging in the sky。 I watched the girl in her
nightdress lean on the railing
and talk to herself。
Meaningless but when I slowly struggled back to consciousness； Juliet was on
my mind。
Jacob was still asleep； he'd slumped down to the floor and his breathing was
deep and even。 The house
was darker now than before； it was black outside the window。 I was stiff； but
warm and almost dry。 The
inside of my throat burned with every breath I took。
I was going to have to get up—at least to get a drink。 But my body just
wanted tc he here limp； to never
move again。
Instead of moving； I thought about Juliet some more。
I wondered what she would have done if Romeo had left her； not because he was
banished； but because
he lost interests What if Rosalind had given him the time of day； and he'd
changed his mind？ What if；
instead of marrying Juliet； he'd just disappeared？
I thought I knew how Juliet would feel。
She wouldn't go back to her old life； not really。 She wouldn't ever have moved
on； I was sure of that。
Even if she'd lived until she was old and gray； every time she closed her
eyes； it would have been
Romeo's face she saw behind her lids。 She would have accepted that；
eventually。
I wondered if she would have married Paris in the end； just to please her
parents； to keep the peace。 No；
probably not； I decided。 But then； the story didn't say much about Paris。 He
was just a stick figure—a
placeholder； a threat； a deadline to force her hand。
What if there were more to Paris？
What if Paris had been Juliet's friend？ Her very best friend？ What if he was
the only one she could
confide in about the whole devastating thing with Romeo？ The one person who
really understood her and
made her feel halfway human again？ What if he was patient and kind？ What if he
took care of her？ What
if Juliet knew she couldn't survive without him？ What if he really loved her；
and wanted her to be happy？
And what if she loved Paris？ Not like Romeo。 Nothing like that； of course。
But enough that she
wanted him to be happy； too？
Jacob's slow； deep breathing was the only sound in the room—like a lullaby
hummed to a child； like the
whisper of a rocking chair； like the ticking of an old clock when you had
nowhere you needed to goIt
was the sound of fort。
If Romeo was really gone； never ing back； would it have mattered whether or
not Juliet had taken
Paris up on his offer？ Maybe she should have tried to settle into the leftover
scraps of life that were left
behind。 Maybe that would have been as close to happiness as she could get。
I sighed； and then groaned when the sigh scraped my throat。 I was reading too
much into the story。
Romeo wouldn't change his mind。 That's why people still remembered his name；
always twined with hers：
Romeo and Juliet。 That's why it was a good story。 〃Juliet gets dumped and ends
up with Paris〃 would
have never been a hit。
I closed my eyes and drifted again； letting my mind wander away from the
stupid play I didn't want to
think about anymore。 I thought about reality instead—about jumping off the
cliff and what a brainless
mistake that had been。 And not just the cliff； but the motorcycles and the
whole irresponsible Evel
Knievel bit。 What if something bad happened to me？ What would that do to
Charlie？ Harry's heart
attack had pushed everything suddenly into perspective for me。 Perspective
that I didn't want to see；
because—if I admitted to the truth of it—it would mean that I would have to
change my ways。 Could I
live like that？
Maybe。 It wouldn't be easy； in fact； it would be downright miserable to give
up my hallucinations and try
to be a grown…up。 But maybe I should do it。 And maybe I could。 If I had Jacob。
I couldn't make that deci