Alice scowled at the floor for a moment。 〃Well I guess I acted impulsively
today。 I probably shouldn't
have intruded。〃
I could feel the blood draining from my face。 My stomach dropped。 〃Don't go；
Alice；〃 I whispered。 My
fingers locked around the collar of her white shirt and I began to
hyperventilate。 〃Please don't leave me。〃
Her eyes opened wider。 〃All right；〃 she said； enunciating each word with slow
precision。 〃I'm not going
anywhere tonight。 Take a deep breath。〃
I tried to obey； though I couldn't quite locate my lungs。
She watched my face while I concentrated on my breathing。 She waited till I
was calmer to ment。
〃You look like hell； Bella。〃
〃I drowned today；〃 I reminded her。
〃It goes deeper than that。 You're a mess。〃
I flinched。 〃Look； I'm doing my best。〃
〃What do you mean？〃
〃It hasn't been easy。 I'm working on it。〃
She frowned。 〃I told him；〃 she said to herself。
〃Alice；〃 I sighed。 〃What did you think you were going to find？ I mean； besides
me dead？ Did you expect
to find me skipping around and whistling show tunes？ You know me better than
that。〃
〃I do。 But I hoped。〃
〃Then I guess I don't have the corner on the idiocy market。〃
The phone rang。
〃That has to be Charlie；〃 I said； staggering to my feet。 I grabbed Alice's
stone hand and dragged her with
me to the kitchen。 I wasn't about to let her out of my sight。
〃Charlie？〃 I answered the phone。
〃No； it's me；〃 Jacob said。
〃Jake！〃
Alice scrutinized my expression。
〃Just making sure you were still alive；〃 Jacob said sourly。
〃I'm fine。 I told you that it wasn't—〃
〃Yeah。 I got it。 'Bye。〃
Jacob hung up on me。
I sighed and let my head hang back； staring at the ceiling。 〃That's going to
be a problem。〃
Alice squeezed my hand。 〃They aren't excited I'm here。〃
〃Not especially。 But it's none of their business anyway。〃
Alice put her arm around me。 〃So what do we do now？〃 she mused。 She seemed to
talk to herself for a
moment。 〃Things to do。 Loose ends to tie。〃
〃What things to do？〃
Her face was suddenly careful。 〃I don't know for sure I need to see
Carlisle。〃
Would she leave so soon？ My stomach dropped。
〃Could you stay？〃 I begged。 〃Please？ For just a little while。 I've missed you
so much。〃 My voice broke。
〃If you think that's a good idea。〃 Her eyes were unhappy。
〃I do。 You can stay here—Charlie would love that。〃
〃I have a house； Bella。〃
I nodded； disappointed but resigned。 She hesitated； studying me。
〃Well； I need to go get a suitcase of clothes； at the very least。〃
I threw my arms around her。 〃Alice； you're the best！〃
〃And I think I'll need to hunt。 Immediately；〃 she added in a strained voice。
〃Oops。〃 I took a step back。
〃Can you stay out of trouble for one hour？〃 she asked skeptically。 Then；
before I could answer； she held
up one finger and closed her eyes。 Her face went smooth and blank for a few
seconds。
And then her eyes opened and she answered her own question。 〃Yes； you'll be
fine。 For tonight；
anyway。〃 She grimaced。 Even making faces； she looked like an angel。
〃You'll e back？〃 I asked in a small voice。
〃I promise—one hour。〃
I glanced at the clock over the kitchen table。 She laughed and leaned in
quickly to kiss me on the cheek。
Then she was gone。
I took a deep breath。 Alice would be back。 I suddenly felt so much better。
I had plenty to do to keep myself busy while I waited。 A shower was definitely
first on the agenda。 I
sniffed my shoulders as I undressed； but I couldn't smell anything but the
brine and seaweed scent of the
ocean。 I wondered what Alice had meant about me smelling bad。
When I was cleaned up； I went back to the kitchen。 I couldn't see any signs
that Charlie 'lad eaten
recently； and he would probably be hungry when he got back。 I hummed
tunelessly to myself as I moved
around the kitchen。
While Thursday's casserole rotated in the microwave； I made up the couch with
sheets and an old pillow。
Alice wouldn't need it； but Charlie would need to see it。 I was careful not to
watch the clock。 There was
no reason to start myself panicking； Alice had promised。
I hurried through my dinner； not tasting it—just feeling the ache as it slid
down my raw throat。 Mostly I
was thirsty； I must have drunk a half gallon of water by the time I was
finished。 All the salt in my system
had dehydrated me。
I went to go try to watch TV while I waited。
Alice was already there； sitting on her improvised bed。 Her eyes were a liquid
butterscotch。 She smiled
and patted the pillow。 〃Thanks。〃
〃You're early；〃 I said； elated。
I sat down next to her and leaned my head on her shoulder。 She put her cold
arms around me and
sighed。
〃Bella。 What are we going to do with you？〃
〃I don't know；〃 I admitted。 〃I really have been trying my hardest。〃
〃I believe you。〃
It was silent。
〃Does—does he〃 I took a deep breath。 It was harder to say his name out
loud； even though I was
able to think it now。 〃Does Edward know you're here？〃 I couldn't help asking。
It was my pain； after all。
I'd deal with it when she was gone； I promised myself； and felt sick at the
thought。
〃No。〃
There was only one way that could be true。 〃He's not with Carlisle and Esme？〃
〃He checks in every few months。〃
〃Oh。〃 He must still be out enjoying his distractions。 I focused my curiosity
on a safer topic。 〃You said you
flew here Where did you e from？〃
〃I was in Denali。 Visiting Tanya's family。〃
〃Is Jasper here？ Did he e with your'〃
She shook her head。 〃He didn't approve of my interfering。 We promised〃 she
trailed off； and then her
tone changed。 〃And you think Charlie won't mind my being here？〃 she asked；
sounding worried。
〃Charlie thinks you're wonderful； Alice。〃
〃Well； we're about to find out。〃
Sure enough； a few seconds later I heard the cruiser pull into the driveway。 I
jumped up and hurried to
open the door。
Charlie trudged slowly up the walk； his eyes on the ground and his shoulders
slumped。 I walked forward
to meet him； he didn't even see me until I hugged him around the waist。 He
embraced me back fiercely。
〃I'm so sorry about Harry； Dad。〃
〃I'm really going to miss him；〃 Charlie mumbled。
〃How's Sue doing？〃
〃She seems dazed； like she hasn't grasped it yet。 Sam's staying with her〃
The volume of his voice faded
in and out。 〃Those poor kids。 Leah's just a year older than you； and Seth is
only fourteen〃 He shook
his head。
He kept his arms tight around me as he started toward the door again。
〃Um； Dad？〃 I figured I'd better warn him。 〃You'll never guess who's here。〃
He looked at me blankly。 His head swiveled around； and he spied the Mercedes
across the street； the
porch light reflecting off the glossy black paint。 Before he could react；
Alice was in the doorway。
〃Hi； Charlie；〃 she said in a subdued voice。 〃I'm sorry I came at such a bad
time。〃
〃Alice Cullen？〃 he peered at the slight figure in front of him as if he
doubted what his eyes were telling
him。 〃Alice； is that you？〃
〃It's me；〃 she confirmed。 〃I was in the neighborhood。〃
〃Is Carlisle？〃
〃No； I'm alone。〃
Both Alice and I knew he wasn't really asking about Carlisle。 His arm
tightened over my shoulder。
〃She can stay here； can't she？〃 I pleaded。 〃I already asked her。〃
〃Of course；〃 Charlie said mechanically。 〃We'd love to have you； Alice。〃
〃Thank you； Charlie。 I know it's horrid timing。〃
〃No； it's fine； really。 I'm going to be really busy doing what I can for
Harry's family； it will be nice for
Bella to have some pany。〃
〃There's dinner for you on the table； Dad；〃 I told him。
〃Thanks； Bell。〃 He gave me one more squeeze before he shuffled toward the
kitchen。
Alice went back to the couch； and I followed her。 This time； she was the one
to pull me against her
shoulder。
〃You look tired。〃
〃Yeah；〃 I agreed； and shrugged。 〃Near…death experiences do that to me So；
what does Carlisle think
of you being here？〃
〃He doesn't know。 He and Esme were on a hunting trip。 I'll hear from him in a
few days； when he gets
back。〃
〃You won't tell him； though when he checks in again？〃 I asked。 She knew I
didn't mean Carlisle now。
〃No。 He'd bite my head off；〃 Alice said grimly。
I laughed once； and then sighed。
I didn't want to sleep。 I wanted to stay up all night talking to Alice。 And it
didn't make sense for me to be
tired； what with crashing on Jacob's couch all day。 But drowning really had
taken a lot out of me； and my
eyes wouldn't stay open。 I rested my head on her stone shoulder； and drifted
into a more peaceful
oblivion than I had any hope of。
I woke early； from a deep and dreamless sleep； feeling well…rested； but stiff。
I was on the couch tucked
under the blankets I'd laid out for Alice； and I could hear her and Charlie
talking in the kitchen。 It
sounded like Charlie was fixing her breakfast。
〃How bad was it； Charlie？〃 Alice asked softly； and at first I thought they
were talking about the
Clearwaters。
Charlie sighed。 〃Real bad。〃
〃Tell me about it。 I want to know exactly what happened when we left。〃
There was a pause while a cupboard door was closed and a dial on the stove was
clicked off。 I waited；
cringing。
〃I've never felt so helpless；〃 Charlie began slowly。 〃I didn't know what to
do。 That first week—I thought I
was going to have to hospitalize her。 She wouldn't eat or drink； she wouldn't
move。 Dr。 Gerandy was
throwing around words like 'catatonic；' but I didn't let him up to see her。 I
was afraid it would scare her。〃
〃She snapped out of it though？〃
〃I had Renee e to take her to Florida。 I just didn't want to be the one
if she had to go to a hospital
or something。 I hoped being with her mother would help。 But when we started
packing her clothes； she
woke up with a vengeance。 I've never seen Bella throw a fit like that。 She was
never one for the
tantrums； but； boy； did she fly into a fury。 She threw her clothes everywhere
and screamed that we
couldn't make her leave—and then she finally started crying。 I thought that
would be the turning point。 I
didn't argue when she insisted on staying here and she did seem to get
better at first〃
Charlie trailed off。 It was hard listening to this； knowing how much pain I'd
caused him。
〃But？〃 Alice prompted。
〃She went back to school and work； she ate and slept and did her homework。 She
answered when
someone asked her a direct question。 But she was empty。 Her eyes were blank。
There were lots of
little things—she wouldn't listen to music anymore； I found a bunch of CDs
broken in the trash。 She didn't
read； she wouldn't be in the same room when the TV was on； not that she
watched it so much before。 I
finally figured it out—she was avoiding everything that might remind her of
him。
〃We could hardly talk； I was so worried about saying something that would
upset her—the littlest things
would make her flinch—and she never volunteered anything。 She would just
answer if I asked her
something。
〃She was alone all the time。 She didn't call her friends back； and after a
while； they stopped calling。
〃It was night of the living dead around here。 I still hear her screaming in
her sleep〃
I could almost see him shuddering。 I shuddered； too； remembering