〃I think I can handle it；〃 he said； and then frowned。 〃If I'd had any idea
that you could respond to a gift
this appropriately； I would have made you open it in front of Carlisle and
Esme。 I thought you'd
plain。〃
〃Well； of course it's too much。 But I get to take you with me！〃
He chuckled。 〃Now I wish I'd spent money on your present。 I didn't realize
that you were capable of
being reasonable。〃
I set the tickets aside and reached for his present； my curiosity rekindled。
He took it from me and
unwrapped it like the first one。
He handed back a clear CD jewel case； with a blank silver CD inside。
〃What is it？〃 I asked； perplexed。
He didn't say anything； he took the CD and reached around me to put it in the
CD player on the bedside
table。 He hit play； and we waited in silence。 Then the music began。
I listened； speechless and wide…eyed。 I knew he was waiting for my reaction；
but I couldn't talk。 Tears
welled up； and I reached up to wipe them away before they could spill over。
〃Does your arm hurt？〃 he asked anxiously。
〃No； it's not my arm。 It's beautiful； Edward。 You couldn't have given me
anything I would love more。 I
can't believe it。〃 I shut up； so I could listen。
It was his music； his positions。 The first piece on the CD was my lullaby。
〃I didn't think you would let me get a piano so I could play for you here；〃 he
explained。
〃You're right。〃
〃How does your arm feel？〃
〃Just fine。〃 Actually； it was starting to blaze under the bandage。 I wanted
ice。 I would have settled for his
hand； but that would have given me away。
〃I'll get you some Tylenol。〃
〃I don't need anything；〃 I protested； but he slid me off his lap and headed
for the door。
〃Charlie；〃 I hissed。 Charlie wasn't exactly aware that Edward frequently
stayed over。 In fact； he would
have a stroke if that fact were brought to his attention。 But I didn't feel
too guilty for deceiving him It
wasn't as if we were up to anything he wouldn't want me to be up to。 Edward
and his rules
〃He won't catch me；〃 Edward promised as he disappeared silently out the door 。
。 and returned； catching
the door before it had swung back to touch the frame。 He had the glass from
the bathroom and the bottle
of pills in one hand。
I took the pills he handed me without arguing—I knew I would lose the
argument And my arm really was
starting to bother me。
My lullaby continued； soft and lovely； in the background。
〃It's late；〃 Edward noted。 He scooped me up off the bed with one arm； and
pulled the cover back with
the other。 He put me down with my head on my pillow and tucked the quilt
around me。 He lay down next
to me—on top of the blanket so I wouldn't get chilled—and put his arm over
me。
I leaned my head against his shoulder and sighed happily。
〃Thanks again；〃 I whispered。
〃You're wele。〃
It was quiet for a long moment as I listened to my lullaby drift to a close。
Another song began。 I
recognized Esme's favorite。
〃What are you thinking about？'〃 I wondered in a whisper。
He hesitated for a second before he told me。 〃I was thinking about right and
wrong； actually。〃
I felt a chill tingle along my spine。
〃Remember how I decided that I wanted you to not ignore my birthday？〃 I asked
quickly； hoping it
wasn't too clear that I was trying to distract him。
〃Yes；〃 he agreed； wary。
〃Well； I was thinking； since it's still my birthday； that I'd like you to kiss
me again。〃
〃You're greedy tonight。〃
〃Yes； I am—but please； don't do anything you don't want to do；〃 I added；
piqued。
He laughed； and then sighed。 〃Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't
want to do；〃 he said in a
strangely desperate tone as he put his hand under my chin and pulled my face
up to his。
The kiss began much the same as usual—Edward was as careful as ever； and my
heart began to
overreact like it always did。 And then something seemed to change。 Suddenly
his lips became much more
urgent； his free hand twisted into my hair and held my face securely to his。
And； though my hands tangled
in his hair； too； and though I was clearly beginning to cross his cautious
lines； for once he didn't stop me。
His body was cold through the thin quilt； but I crushed myself against him
eagerly。
When he stopped it was abrupt； he pushed me away with gentle； firm hands。
I collapsed back onto my pillow； gasping； my head spinning。 Something tugged
at my memory； elusive；
on the edges。
〃Sorry；〃 he said； and he was breathless； too。 〃That was out of line。〃
〃I don't mind；〃 I panted。
He frowned at me in the darkness。 〃Try to sleep。 Bella。〃
〃No； I want you to kiss me again。〃
〃You're overestimating my self…control。〃
〃Which is tempting you more； my blood or my body？〃 I challenged。
〃It's a tie。〃 He grinned briefly in spite of himself； and then was serious
again。 〃Now。 why don't you stop
pushing your luck and go to sleep？〃
〃Fine；〃 I agreed； snuggling closer to him。 I really did feel exhausted。 It had
been a long day in so many
ways； yet I felt no sense of relief at its end。 Almost as if something worse
was ing tomorrow。 It was a
silly premonition—what could be worse than today？' Just the shock catching up
with me； no doubt。
Trying to be sneaky about it； I pressed my injured arm against his shoulder；
so his cool skin would sooth
the burning。 It felt better at once。
I was halfway asleep； maybe more； when I realized what his kiss had reminded
me of： last spring； when
he'd had to leave me to throw James off my trail； Edward had kissed me
goodbye； not knowing
when—or if—we would see each other again。 This kiss had the same almost
painful edge for some
reason I couldn't imagine。 I shuddered into unconsciousness； as if I were
already having a nightmare。
3。 THE END
I FELT ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS IN THE MORNING。 I HADN'T slept well； my arm burned
and
my head ached。 It didn't help my outlook that Edward's face was smooth and
remote as he kissed my
forehead quickly and ducked out my window。 I was afraid of the time I'd spent
unconscious； afraid that
he might have been thinking about right and wrong again while he watched me
sleep。 The anxiety seemed
to ratchet up the intensity of the pounding in my head。
Edward was waiting for me at school； as usual； but his face was still wrong。
There was something buried
in his eyes that I couldn't be sure of—and it scared me。 I didn't want to
bring up last night； but I wasn't
sure if avoiding the subject would be worse。
He opened my door for me。
〃How do you feel？〃
〃Perfect；〃 I lied； cringing as the sound of the slamming door echoed in my
head。
We walked in silence； he shortening his stride to match mine。 There were so
many questions I wanted to
ask； but most of those questions would have to wait； because chey were for
Alice： How was Jasper this
morning？ What had they said when I was gone？ What had Rosalie said？ And most
importantly； what
could she see happening now in her strange； imperfect visions of the future？
Could she guess what
Edward was thinking； why he was so gloomy？ Was there a foundation for the
tenuous； instinctive fears
that I couldn't seem to shake？
The morning passed slowly。 I was impatient to see Alice； though I wouldn't be
able to really talk to her
with Edward there。 Edward remained aloof。 Occasionally he would ask about my
arm； and I would lie。
Alice usually beat us to lunch； she didn't have to keep pace with a sloth like
me。 But she wasn't at the
table； waiting with a tray of food she wouldn't eat。
Edward didn't say anything about her absence。 I wondered to myself if her
class was running late—until I
saw Conner and Ben； who were in her fourth hour French class。
〃Where's Alice？〃 I asked Edward anxiously。
He looked at the granola bar he was slowly pulverizing between his fingertips
while he answered。 〃She's
with Jasper。〃
〃Is he okay？〃
〃He's gone away for a while。〃
〃What？ Where？〃
Edward shrugged。 〃Nowhere in particular。〃
〃And Alice； too；〃 I said with quiet desperation。 Of course； if Jasper needed
her； she would go。
〃Yes。 She'll be gone for a while。 She was trying to convince him to go to
Denali。〃
Denali was where the one other band of unique vampires—good ones like the
Cullens—lived。 Tanya and
her family。 I'd heard of them now and again。 Edward had run to them last
winter when my arrival had
made Forks difficult for him。 Laurent； the most civilized member of James's
little coven； had gone there
rather than siding with James against the Cullens。 It made sense for Alice to
encourage Jasper to go
there。
I swallowed； trying to dislodge the sudden lump in my throat。 The guilt made
my head bow and my
shoulders slump。 I'd run them out of their home； just like Rosalie and Emmett。
I was a plague。
〃Is your arm bothering you？〃 he asked solicitously。
〃Who cares about my stupid arm？〃 I muttered in disgust。
He didn't answer； and I put my head down on the table。
By the end of the day； the silence was being ridiculous。 I didn't want to
be the one to break it； but
apparently that was my only choice if I ever wanted him to talk to me again。
〃You'll e over later tonight？〃 I asked as he walked me—silently—to my
truck。 He always came over。
〃Later？〃
It pleased me that he seemed surprised。 〃I have to work。 I had to trade with
Mrs。 Newton to get
yesterday off。〃
〃Oh；〃 he murmured。
〃So you'll e over when I'm home； though； right？〃 I hated that I felt
suddenly unsure about this。
〃If you want me to。〃
〃I always want you；〃 I reminded him； with perhaps a little more intensity than
the conversation required。
I expected he would laugh； or smile； or react somehow to my words。
〃All right； then；〃 he said indifferently。
He kissed my forehead again before he shut the door on me。 Then he turned his
back and loped
gracefully toward his car。
I was able to drive out of the parking lot before the panic really hit； but I
was hyperventilating by the time
I got to Newton's。
He just needed time； I told myself。 He would get over this。 Maybe he was sad
because his family was
disappearing。 But Alice and Jasper would e back soon； and Rosalie and
Emmett； too。 If it would
help； I would stay away from the big white house on the river—I'd never set
foot there again。 That didn't
matter。 I'd still see Alice at school。 She would have to e back for school；
right？ And she was at my
place all the time anyway。 She wouldn't want to hurt Charlie's feelings by
staying away。
No doubt I would also run into Carlisle with regularity—in the emergency
room。
After all； what had happened last night was nothing。 Nothing had happened。 So
I fell down—that was
the story of my life。 pared to last spring； it seemed especially
unimportant。 James had left me broken
and nearly dead from loss of blood—and yet Edward had handled the
interminable weeks in the hospital
much better than this。 Was it because； this time； it wasn't an enemy he'd had
to protect me from？
Because it was his brother？
Maybe it would be better if he took me away； rather than his family being
scattered。 I grew slightly less
depressed as I considered all the uninterrupted alone time。 If he could just
last thro