selfimage； by feelings of love and responsibility。 Every possible choice seemed
to have drawbacks； and sometimes he didn't understand why the drawbacks were
drawbacks。 It was very hard。
〃He thinks 。。。〃 Danny began again； and then looked at his mother quickly。
She was watching the road； not looking at him； and he felt he could go on。
〃He thinks maybe we'll be lonely。 And then he thinks that he likes it here and
it's a good place for us。 He loves us and doesn't want us to be lonely 。。。 or
sad 。。。 but he thinks even if we are； it might be okay in the LONGRUN。 Do you
know LONGRUN？〃
She nodded。 〃Yes； dear。 I do。〃
〃He's worried that if we left he couldn't get another job。 That we'd have to
beg； or something。〃
〃Is that all？〃
〃No； but the rest is all mixed up。 Because he's different now。〃
〃Yes；〃 she said； almost sighing。 The grade eased a little and she shifted
cautiously back to third gear。
〃I'm not making this up； Mommy。 Honest to God。〃
〃I know that；〃 she said； and smiled。 〃Did Tony tell you？〃
〃No；〃 he said。 〃I just know。 That doctor didn't believe in Tony； did he？〃
〃Never mind that doctor；〃 she said。 〃I believe in Tony。 I don't know what he
is or who he is； if he's a part of you that's special or if he es from 。。。
somewhere outside； but I do believe in him； Danny。 And if you 。。。 he 。。。
think we should go； we will。 The two of us will go and be together with Daddy
again in the spring。〃
He looked at her with sharp hope。 〃Where？ A motel？〃
〃Hon； we couldn't afford a motel。 It would have to be at my mother's。〃
The hope in Danny's face died out。 〃I know — 〃 he said； and stopped。
〃What？〃
〃Nothing；〃 he muttered。
She shifted back to second as the grade steepened again。 〃No； doc； please
don't say that。 This talk is something we should have had weeks ago； I think。 So
please。 What is it you know？ I won't be mad。 I can't be mad； because this is too
important。 Talk straight to me。〃
〃I know how you feel about her；〃 Danny said； and sighed。
〃How do I feel？〃
〃Bad；〃 Danny said； and then rhyming； singsong； frightening her： 〃Bad。 Sad。
Mad。 It's like she wasn't your mommy at all。 Like she wanted to eat you。〃 He
looked at her； frightened。 〃And I don't like it there。 She's always thinking
about how she would be better for me than you。 And how she could get me away
from you。 Mommy； I don't want to go there。 I'd rather be at the Overlook than
there。〃
Wendy was shaken。 Was it that bad between her and hermother？ God； what hell
for the boy if it was and he could really read their thoughts for each other。
She suddenly felt more naked than naked； as if she had been caught in an obscene
act。
〃All right；〃 she said。 〃All right； Danny。〃
〃You're mad at me；〃 he said in a small； near…to…tears voice。
〃No； I'm not。 Really I'm not。 I'm just sort of shook up。〃 They were passing a
SIDEWINDER 15 mi。 sign； and Wendy relaxed a little。 From here on in the road was
better。
〃I want to ask you one more question； Danny。 I want you to answer it as
truthfully as you can。 Will you do that？〃
〃Yes； Mommy；〃 he said； almost whispering。
〃Has your daddy been drinking again？〃
〃No；〃 he said； and smothered the two words that rose behind his lips after
that simple negative： Not yet。
Wendy relaxed a little more。 She put a hand on Danny's jeans…clad leg and
squeezed it。 〃Your daddy has tried very hard；〃 she said softly。 〃Because he
loves us。 And we love him； don't we？〃
He nodded gravely。
Speaking almost to herself she went on： 〃He's not a perfect man； but he has
tried 。。。 Danny； he's tried so hard！ When he 。。。 stopped 。。。 he went
through a kind of hell。 He's still going through it。 I think if it hadn't been
for us； he would have just let go。 I want to do what's right。 And I don't know。
Should we go？ Stay？ It's like a choice between the fat and the fire。〃
〃I know。〃
〃Would you do something for me； doc？〃
〃What？〃
〃Try to make Tony e。 Right now。 Ask him if we're safe at the Overlook。〃
〃I already tried；〃 Danny said slowly。 〃This morning。〃
〃What happened？〃 Wendy asked。 〃What did he say？〃
〃He didn't e；〃 Danny said。 〃Tony didn't e。〃 And he suddenly burst into
tears。
〃Danny；〃 she said； alarmed。 〃Honey； don't do that。 Please 〃 The truck swerved
across the double yellow line and she pulled it back； scared。
〃Don't take me to Gramma's；〃 Danny said through his tears。 〃Please； Mommy； I
don't want to go there； I want to stay with Daddy 〃
〃All right；〃 she said softly。 〃All right； that's what we'll do。〃 She took a
Kleenex out of the pocket of her Western…style shirt and handed it to him。
〃We'll stay。 And everything will be fine。 Just fine。〃
* 〃Bad Moon Rising；〃 by J。 C。 Fogerty； （c） 1969 Jondora Music； Berkeley；
California。 Used by permission。 All rights reserved。 International copyright
secured。
》
IN THE PLAYGROUND
Jack came out onto the porch； tugging the tab of his zipper up under his chin；
blinking into the bright air。 In his left hand he was holding a battery…powered
hedge…clipper。 He tugged a fresh handkerchief out of his back pocket with his
right hand； wiped his lips with it； and tucked it away。 Snow； they had said on
the radio。 It was hard to believe； even though he could see the clouds building
up on the far horizon。
He started down the path to the topiary； switching the hedge…clipper over to
the other hand。 It wouldn't be a long job； he thought； a little touch…up would
do it。 The cold nights had surely stunted their growth。 The rabbit's ears looked
a little fuzzy； and two of the dog's legs had grown fuzzy green bonespurs； but
the lions and the buffalo looked fine。 Just a little haircut would do the trick；
and then let the snow e。
The concrete path ended as abruptly as a diving board。 He stepped off it and
walked past the drained pool to the gravel path which wound through the hedge
sculptures and into the playground itself。 He walked over to the rabbit and
pushed the button on the handle of the clippers。 It hummed into quiet life。
〃Hi； Br'er Rabbit；〃 Jack said。 〃How are you today？ A little off the top and
get some of the extra off your ears？ Fine。 Say； did you hear the one about the
traveling salesman and the old lady with a pet poodle？〃
His voice sounded unnatural and stupid in his ears； and he stopped。 It
occurred to him that he didn't care much for these hedge animals。 It had always
seemed slightly perverted to him to clip and torture a plain old hedge into
something that it wasn't。 Along one of the highways in Vermont there had been a
hedge billboard on a high slope overlooking the road； advertising some kind of
ice cream。 Making nature peddle ice cream； that was just wrong。 It was
grotesque。
（You weren't hired to philosophize； Torrance。）
Ah； that was true。 So true。 He clipped along the rabbit's ears； brushing a
small litter of sticks and twigs off onto the grass。 The hedge…clipper hummed in
that low and rather disgustingly metallic way that all battery…powered
appliances seem to have。 The sun was brilliant but it held no warmth； and now it
wasn't so hard to believe that snow was ing。
Working quickly； knowing that to stop and think when you were at this kind of
a task usually meant making a mistake； Jack touched up the rabbit's 〃face〃 （up
this close it didn't look like a face at all； but he knew that at a distance of
twenty paces or so light and shadow would seem to suggest one； that； and the
viewer's imagination） and then zipped the clippers along its belly。
That done； he shut the clippers off； walked down toward the playground； and
then turned back abruptly to get it all at once； the entire rabbit。 Yes； it
looked all right。 Well； he would do the dog next。
〃But if it was my hotel；〃 he said； 〃I'd cut the whole damn bunch of you down。〃
He would； too。 Just cut them down and resod the lawn where they'd been and put
in half a dozen small metal tables with gaily colored umbrellas。 People could
have cocktails on the Overlook's lawn in the summer sun。 Sloe gin fizzes and
margaritas and pink ladies and all those sweet tourist drinks。 A rum and tonic；
maybe。 Jack took his handkerchief out of his back pocket and slowly rubbed his
lips with it。
〃e on； e on；〃 he said softly。 That was nothing to be thinking about。
He was going to start back； and then some impulse made him change his mind and
he went down to the playground instead。 It was funny how you never knew kids； he
thought。 He and Wendy had expected Danny would love the playground； it had
everything a kid could want。 But Jack didn't think the boy had been down half a
dozen times； if that。 He supposed if there had been another kid to play with； it
would have been different。
The gate squeaked slightly as he let himself in； and then there was crushed
gravel crunching under his feet。 He went first to the playhouse； the perfect
scale model of the Overlook itself。 It came up to his lower thigh； just about
Danny's height when he was standing up。 Jack hunkered down and looked in the
third…floor windows。
〃The giant has e to eat you all up in your beds；〃 he said hollowly。 〃Kiss
your Triple A rating goodbye。〃 But that wasn't funny； either。 You could open the
house simply by pulling it apart — it opened on a hidden hinge。 The inside was a
disappointment。 The walls were painted； but the place was mostly hollow。 But of
course it would have to be； he told himself； or how else could the kids get
inside？ What play furniture might go with the place in the summer was gone；
probably packed away in the equipment shed。 He closed it up and heard the small
click as the latch closed。
He walked over to the slide； set the hedge…clipper down； and after a glance
back at the driveway to make sure Wendy and Danny hadn't returned； he climbed to
the top and sat down。 This was the big kids' slide； but the fit was still
unfortably tight for his grownup ass。 How long had it been since he had been
on a slide？ Twenty years？ It didn't seem possible it could be that long； it
didn't feel that long； but it had to be that； or more。 He could remember his old
man taking him to the park in Berlin when he had been Danny's age； and he had
done the whole bit slide； swings； teeter…totters； everything。 He and the old man
would have a hotdog lunch and buy peanuts from the man with the cart afterward。
They would sit on a bench to eat them and dusky clouds of pigeons would flock
around their feet。
〃Goddam scavenger birds；〃 his dad would say； 〃don't you feed them； Jacky。〃 But
they would both end up feeding them； and giggling at the way they ran after the
nuts； the greedy way they ran after the nuts。 Jack didn't think the old man had
ever taken his brothers to the park。 Jack had been his favorite； and even so
Jack had taken his lumps when the old man was drunk； which was a lot of the
time。 But Jack had loved him for as long as he was able； long after the rest of
the family could only hate and fear him。
He pushed off with his hands and went to the bottom； but the trip was
unsatisfying。 The slide；