for Blair and Serena were not quite as pretty or healthy…looking as the originals。 The fact that their
once…white outfits were both marred by sloppy； barfy…looking stains further cemented it。 She
squinted at them； realizing they were the faux versions she？d seen on the beach only hours before。
Just what she needed？a reminder of her horrible after…noon with the terror twins。 The rest of their
time at the beach had been uneventful enough； but the moment they returned to the house； Ms。
Morgan had dug into her about what SPF she？d used on the boys； what books they？d read； and
how she？d really prefer Vanessa not ruin their dinner with Cheez…Its。 Vanessa had nodded patiently；
then raced to her upstairs room and quickly changed into something relatively presentable。 Then
she？d dashed out of the house and into the night； refusing to let the minor fact that she didn？t have
either a driver？s license or a car get in her way。 She？d grabbed one of the twins？ tiny bicycles
from the hook from which it was suspended and pedaled toward civilization； figuring that it would
only be a matter of time before she came across someone who could direct her to where Blair and
Serena might be。 Luckily； she？d bumped into Siobhan after about one block。
？Do you know where they went？？ Vanessa turned to see Chuck Bass disappearing into the crowd；
his hand raised high above his head to avoid spilling his drink。
Great。 No Blair； no Serena； and now； no Chuck。 Vanessa had a vision of herself alone； shivering
on the beach； trying to avoid the perverts and murderous models。
Just another night in East Hampton。
Well； there？s only one cure for a lonely night； Vanessa reasoned as she dove into the crowd；
slipping through a trio of shirtless musclemen； making a beeline for？where else？？ the bar。
？Vodka martini。？ She smiled at the bartender； giving him her best yes…I？m…on…the…guest…list look。
She almost never drank； but holding a martini might give her a new outlook on life。
The bartender went right to work and smoothly handed over a glass。 Clutching the stem； Vanessa
turned back into the crowd； unsure who to talk to。 There was Chuck； laughing as he made small
talk with a very tall man； and there were the two impostors from the beach； frowning and
pathetically dabbing at their stained outfits with damp napkins。
Tough choice。
Vanessa wove through a thicket of linen…pants…clad types； heading toward the edge of the
pool。 ？We meet again；？ she offered by way of introduction。 ？I？m Vanessa。？
The blond girl stared at her dumbly through her tear…blurred slightly crossed eyes。
？You again。？ The faux Blair glared at her。 ？We must go change。？ The girl grabbed her friend？s
hand and started walking away from Vanessa。 ？Maybe you should also change。？
Vanessa resisted the urge to pitch her drink at the girl？s bucktoothed face。
Sliding off her flip…flops； she took a seat and dangled her feet into the aqua…colored water。 She
sipped her martini nervously； trying to drink her way through that horrible
I？m…at…a…party…and…no…one…is…talking…to…me shame。 Then she glanced at her watch； fiddled with
her outfit； and stared at the placid surface of the swimming pool； pretending to be engrossed in
each task。
？Yooo…hooo。 Excuse me； dear。？
Had someone called security？
Vanessa turned oh…so…casually to e face…to…face with Bailey Winter himself； the gaytastic
designer she？d crossed paths with on the set ofBreakfast at Fred？s the day before she was
exmunicated； and the host of the party she just happened to be crashing。
？Hi！？ She smiled enthusiastically； hoping to make him forget he hadn？t invited her to his soir？e。
？Oh dear。？ The designer produced a floral…printed silk hankie from the breast pocket of his navy
blue linen blazer and dabbed at his red eyes with the tip of it。 ？I？m all at sixes and sevens。 My
cushions； you see？they？re ruined。？
Vanessa frowned at the booze…stained ivory cushions perched at the edge of the pool。 ？That？s too
bad。？
？Oh； every cloud has a silver lining； honey；？ he announced dramatically； his tears spontaneously
drying up。 ？And dare I say； I think you are positively sterling！ Who are you and where did you
e from？ You？re just the most delicious little thing。？ Still clutching his handkerchief； Bailey
Winter reached up and caressed Vanessa？s cheek。
Silk and snot。 How lovely。
？I？m； um； looking for some friends of mine。 Blair and Serena？？
？Yes； those two vixens； well； who knows where they？ve gone off to？and who cares！？ He gripped
her upper arm tightly with his small hand。 ？You？re what I？ve been looking for。You？re the newnew
new look。 At last！？
？Excuse me？？ Vanessa wanted to back away； but if she did； she？d fall into the pool。
？You must stay with me this summer；？ he continued； enraptured。 ？Your energy； your profile；
your 。 。 。 baldness。 They？re positively inspiring！ Say you will； my dear。 Spend the night。 At least
one night。 Please。 Don？t make Uncle Bailey beg；？
？Stay here？？ Vanessa surveyed the scene once more： a modern glass…and…concrete mansion； a
glittering blue pool； hundreds of perfectly dressed and groomed men； chilled martinis？it was like a
Fellini film； if Fellini had ever made a movie about summer in the Hamptons。 She felt a surge of
creativity that almost took her breath away。 Of course！ A movie； in the Hamptons！ An
impressionistic documentary； inter…splicing party footage with first…person interviews；
documenting the creative process of one of the fashion industry？s leading forces。 It was a little bit
Robert Altman； a little bitGrey Gardens。 Not to mention that it beat the shit out of booger patrol at
the James…Morgans？。 ？Stay here；？ she repeated； nodding slowly。 ？Why； yes。 I？dlove to。？
She would？
==================================
ABC Amber LIT Converter v2。02
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Disclaimer： All the real names of places； people； and events have been altered or abbreviated to
protect the innocent。 Namely； me。
hey people！
Okay； so I know I already interrupted your regularly scheduled programming for an important
message； but this is anemergency。 I？m putting out an APB？that？s all…points…bulletin in case you
didn？t know？on some of our very favorite people。 。 。 。
Missing： A vintage hunter green Aston Martin convertible。 Last seen speeding out of Georgica
Pond a little after sundown。 Reports vary； but my best sources say the car contained at least three
people？a guy and two girls？and I？m getting reports that at least one of the girls was wearing white。
Could someone be eloping？ Please keep your eyes peeled。 And now； back to your regularly
scheduled dish。
book report
Our first juicy report affirms what I both hoped and feared about those book geeks： they reallyare
freaks in bed。 Rumor has it that a certain Harlem…based intellectual salon went from sping
literary thought to sping spit？and fast。 Talk about an introductory ？getting to know you？
meeting。 I wonder if that？s what D and his new friend G had in mind when they sought
out ？like…minded young men and women？ and asked applicants to attach their pictures。 。 。 。 Then
again； from what I hear； these eager literati saw beyond the shackles of identity？like； um；
gender？and simply embraced the soul （and some other things） of the person next to them。 I guess
that？s what they mean about not judging a book by its cover。
So does this little freak…orgy mean the demise of literary debate？ Can people no longer sit around
a rambling Harlem apartment and discuss great works of literature without getting frisky？ Or does
it symbolize the return of freaky group…sex organizations like Plato？s Retreat？ （Can I just say 。 。 。
ew。） Sorry to disappoint； but for once I don？t know for sure。 Iwill tell you what it means for me；
however： I am never； ever going above One…hundredth Street。 I don？t care how ？stimulating？ the
event promises to be。
paint by numbers
Speaking of parties with an； ahem； same…sex appeal； I have a bone to pick with a certain
flamboyant designer about his latest stylish affair： What？s with the all…white theme？ For people
who consider themselves free thinkers； the idea itself is just so 。 。 。 single…minded （although maybe
I？m just smarting from my exclusion from the party； due to the similarlysingle…minded
all…maletheme）。 I suppose it？s a way for the rich and famous to make themselves feel chic and
fabulous？anybody remember that rocker whose Greenwich Village apartment was done entirely in
white？ Even his guests had to match the d？cor。 And while it may look it fantastic for five minutes；
it？s so impractical？hello； drunk people； colorful drinks； and white sofas？ Can anyone else put two
and two together？ Personally； I？m up for anything colorful； particularly in summer。 To prove my
point； a few of my favorite （colorful） things： sunset…pink Cosmos； blue…green ocean water； mint
chocolate…chip ice cream； and last but not least 。 。 。 tan boys in pastel shirts。 Talk about a color
bination！
your e…mail
Q：？
Dear the Gossip Girl；
？
I am beautiful brunette from foreign land so maybe there is somethings I don？t understand about
America。 I ask your help to explain to me this please： is bald now beautiful？ Do American men
like girls to look like this？ With shaved head？ Please advise。
？
？Confused
A：？
Dear C；
？
I think you？ve misunderstood。 Bald is beautiful when we？re talking about a Brazilian； but most
fellows I know like something to run their fingers through。 It？s the rare woman indeed who can
pull off the full…on buzz。 。 。 。 I？ve seen it work only once before。 Good luck！
？
？GG
Q：？
Dear GG；
？
I？ve been in Europe for the summer and am worried about my big brother back in New York。 He
hasn？t replied to any of my postcards； and when I called home a few minutes ago； my dad said he
was ？on the lam with a bottle of absinthe。？ Eeek！ Do you think he？s okay？
？
？Worried Little Sis
A：？
Dear WLS；
？
Not to worry！ Your bro is probably just out enjoying himself and trying new things。 Trust me；
that？s a good thing。 If you？re still concerned about his whereabouts； send me his pic。 。 。 。 If he？s
cute； I？ll track him down for you！
？
？GG
sightings
N； making his first beach appearance of the season with a friend I hardly recognized？what？s
up；A ； you been working out？ Great results！ I？ve got the camera…phone pics to prove it。 Yum。 Two
ladies matching the descriptions ofB andS were spotted chewing gum behind a gas station on
Main Street； late at night； but let？s take that one with a grain of salt； because another report also
hadB andS buying depilatories at Long？s； and something tells me those girls would never attempt
a home job； even in an emergency。 I mean； there are experts for that sort of thing； and yes； they
make house calls！V pedaling around East Hampton on a child？s bike with training wheels。 Maybe
she？s making some kind of environmental point？ Good for her。D ？s being a good environmentalist
himself； if that was indeed him passed out on the 2 train instead of cabbing it。 BTW；K andI ： if
you？re going to try to crash an all…boy party； it helps immensely if you？ve got