gossip girl 12 终结- 第25部分

“I’m　actually　deferred　from　Yale　right　now。”　Serena　sighed。　Instantly；　her　blue　eyes　seemed　clouded　by　sadness。　“It’s　sort　of　a　long　story。”

“You　should　go；”　Dan　said　seriously。　Instantly；　he　felt　like　an　idiot。　Why　was　he　telling　his　dream　girl　to　move　hours　way？

“Really？”　Serena　stared　into　her　cup　of　watery　beer。　She　had　been　thinking　a　lot　about　going　back　to　school；　recently…。　And　besides；　it　wasn’t　like　Blair　was　in　charge　of　Yale。　If　Serena　wanted　to　go　to　Yale；　she　should　go　to　Yale。　“Are　you　trying　to　get　rid　of　me？”　she　asked；　raising　a　playful　eyebrow　at　Dan；　who　instantly　reddened。

“No！”　Dan　protested。　“But　there’s　more　to　college　than　beer　pong　and　a　T…shirt。　I　think　you　might　like　it。”　Why　had　he　been　so　nervous　about　meeting　Serena？　Sure；　she　was　beautiful；　but　she　was　also　goofy　and　fun　and　smart　and　sweet。

Serena　smiled　across　the　table。　She　couldn’t　remember　the　last　time　someone　had　listened　to　her—really　listened。　“Well；　if　I　do　go　to　Yale；　I’ll　still　e　back　and　visit。　New　Haven’s　not　far　from　the　city；　you　know。”

“No；　it’s　not　far　at　all。”　Dan　smiled　back；　sloshing　his　beer　so　a　tiny　dribble　fell　onto　his　blue　Gap　sweater。　But　he　didn’t　care。　Serena　was　still　beaming　at　him；　and　in　her　deep　blue　eyes　was　the　promise　of　the　future。　“I’d　like　that；”　he　said　finally。　

See　what　I　mean　about　history　ing　back　to　haunt　you？

if　you　don’t　know　who　you’re　sleeping　with；　who　does？

“Shut　up！”　Blair　screamed；　hitting　the　wall　by　her　headboard　on　her　way　from　the　minibar　toward　her　bed。　She　was　on　her　fourth　vodka　soda　refill　and　the　couple　in　the　room　next　door　seemed　to　be　on　their　fourth　round　of　noisy；　athletic　sex。　Blair　had　had　enough。　Even　if　they　were　on　their　honeymoon；　didn’t　they　get　tired？　And　hadn’t　the　Tribeca　Star　heard　of　soundproofing？

And　doesn’t　she　have　anything　better　to　do　than　sit　in　her　room　and　listen　to　them？

The　noises　in　the　next　room　subsided　slightly。　There。　That　was　better。　It　was　only　ten　o’clock；　but　Blair　was　exhausted。　For　the　past　twenty…four　hours；　she’d　been　holed　up　in　her　room。　Nothing　bad　ever　happened　in　the　hotel　room。

There’s　a　first　time　for　everything。

Besides；　what　was　the　point　of　even　trying　anymore；　Blair　thought　as　she　took　a　gulp　of　her　drink；　then　hiccupped。　She　knew　drinking　away　her　sorrows　wasn’t　exactly　ideal；　but　she　didn’t　want　to　face　her　gigantic　shitstorm　of　a　life　right　now。　Her　relationship　was　ruined。　She　hated　Serena。　Nate　was　just　a　dumb；　horny　boy；　and　the　thing　that　sucked　about　that　was　that　she’d　known　it　for　years。　And　she　had　no　idea　where　the　fuck　she’d　even　live　when　she　got　back　to　Yale。　Would　she　be　homeless？

Maybe　she　should　just　move　to　another　country　and　start　all　over　again。

She　drained　the　rest　of　her　drink　and　switched　out　the　light。　Maybe　if　she　lay　still　and　focused　on　breathing　in　and　out；　she　could　at　least　fall　asleep　for　a　few　hours。　Then　tomorrow　would　be　a　new　day。　She’d　make　herself　leave　the　hotel；　buy　a　pretty　orange　leather　Hermès　notebook；　sit　in　Amaranth；　order　a　vodka　gimlet；　and　write　a　to…do　list。　She　always　used　to　make　to…do　lists　for　class；　and　they　helped　keep　her　on　track。　Maybe　she’d　also　buy　herself　a　bag　from　Hermès；　just　as　a　congratulatory　present　for　making　it　through　what　was　probably　the　worst　winter　vacation　anyone　had　ever　had。

Just　as　she　was　falling　asleep；　she　was　aware　of　the　sound　of　the　door　clicking　open。　It　was　either　Pete　or　a　serial　killer。　And　really；　what　did　she　have　to　lose　either　way？

Blair　quickly　adjusted　the　straps　of　her　Cosabella　tank　top　and　folded　her　hands　by　her　head；　as　if　she’d　just　moved　in　her　sleep。　If　it　was　Pete；　she　wanted　him　to　see　her　sleeping　sweetly。　He’d　soften　and　profess　his　love；　thinking　that　she　couldn’t　hear。　Then；　he’d　kiss　her　awake；　like　the　prince　waking　Sleeping　Beauty；　and　they’d　live　happily　ever　after。

And　if　it’s　a　serial　killer？

Blair　felt　a　warm　hand　on　her　hip；　just　above　her　La　Perla　boy…cut　panties。　She　murmured　slightly；　nestling　into　the　warm　body　settling　in　next　to　her。　She　smelled　the　scent　of　L’Occitane　soap　and　a　little　bit　of　pot。　As　soon　as　she　inhaled；　a　tingly　feeling　shot　through　her。　It　smelled　like　Nate。　Nate　had　somehow　sensed　her　distress；　and　e　for　her。　Maybe　this　was　all　a　dream；　but　at　this　point；　she’d　take　dream　Nate。　She　squeezed　her　eyes　shut；　not　wanting　to　wake　up　and　break　the　spell。

“You’re　my　East；　my　West；　my　North；　my　South。　Blair；　you’re　my　girl；”　the　voice　said　hoarsely。

Blair　bolted　upright　and　reached　for　the　lamp。　Bright　light　filled　the　room。　There；　wearing　a　pair　of　rumpled　khakis　and　a　misbuttoned　dark　blue　Ralph　Lauren　shirt；　was　Nate。　Real　Nate。　Not　Dream　Nate。

“What　the　fuck？”　Blair’s　heart　was　hammering　in　her　chest。　She　yanked　the　duvet　cover　around　her　body　and　covered　herself。

Not　like　he　hasn’t　seen　it　all　before。

“You’re　beautiful；”　Nate　said　slowly。　His　large　green　eyes　were　hazy　and　his　hair　was　sticking　up　on　one　side。

“You’re　drunk　and　high　and　you　need　to　get　out　of　here；”　Blair　said　shortly。

“I　love　you；”　Nate　said　simply。　He　propped　his　head　up　on　his　hand　and　continued　to　gaze　at　Blair。　“I　needed　to　see　you。”

“Oh；”　Blair　considered；　still　blinking　in　the　bright　light。　What　was　she　supposed　to　say　to　that？　She　felt　like　she　was　watching　a　foreign　film　whose　subtitles　had　suddenly　stopped　running。　“How　did　you　know　I　was　here？”　she　finally　asked。　Nate　was　obviously　hammered；　but　he　looked　so　sincere　and　innocent　lying　on　his　side；　as　if　they　were　back　in　high　school。　It　made　her　want　to　punch　him；　then　hug　him；　then　push　his　hair　back　and　tell　him　everything　would　be　all　right。　She　appraised　him　again。　Maybe　after　he　took　a　shower。

The　door　clicked　open；　shedding　amber　light　from　the　hallway　onto　the　off…white　rug。

“Blair？”

Blair　whirled　around　to　see　Pete　standing　in　the　doorframe；　holding　a　bouquet　of　red　roses。　His　face　drained　of　color　as　his　blue　eyes　flicked　between　Blair　and　Nate。　He　opened　and　closed　his　mouth；　like　a　goldfish。

“Pete！”　Blair　squeaked。

He　exhaled　loudly；　the　sound　of　his　breath　filling　the　room　and　morphing　into　a　strangled　cry。　He　hurled　the　flowers　to　the　ground　and　an　explosion　of　red　petals　scattered　on　the　thick　blue　carpet。

“I　can　explain；”　Blair　said　in　horror。　She　knew　how　bad　this　looked。　She　knew　there　really　wasn’t　a　logical　explanation。　But　she　needed　Pete　to　know　this　was　a　total　misunderstanding。　“Please　listen；”　Blair　choked　out；　diving　toward　Pete。

“You’re　in　bed　with　that　asshole？”　Pete　asked。　And　then　he　laughed；　one　short；　angry　bark。　“Of　course　you　are。”　He　shook　his　head。

“No；”　she　protested。　She　felt　like　she　was　going　to　throw　up。　This　could　not　be　happening。　Please　believe　me；　she　silently　begged。　“He’s　drunk　and　he　just　found　me。　He　just　came　in　like　two　seconds　ago。　I　thought　he　was　you。”

Pete　shook　his　head　sadly；　as　if　Blair’s　explanation　was　so　ridiculous　he　felt　embarrassed　even　to　be　hearing　it。

“Dude；　sorry；”　Nate　said；　trying　to　stand　up。　He　understood　this　was　bad。　He　didn’t　want　Blair　to　go　back　to　that　other　guy；　but　he　also　didn’t　want　to　hurt　her。　And　now　he　was；　and　it　was　all　so　fucking　confusing。　His　foot　got　caught　in　a　tangle　of　sheets　and　he　face…planted　on　the　floor。

Karma’s　a　bitch。

“You　deserve　each　other；”　Pete　said；　turning　on　his　heel　and　slamming　the　door。　Blair　could　hear　his　footsteps　tromping　down　the　hall。　The　elevator　whooshed　open　and　he　was　gone。　She　turned　and　gazed　down　at　Nate；　pathetically　collapsed　in　a　pile。

“Fuck　you；”　she　whispered；　her　eyes　finally　filling　with　all　the　tears　she’d　held　in　for　the　past　day。　Every　time。　Every　time。　Every　time　she　was　almost　happy；　Nate　managed　to　fuck　it　up。　Even　worse；　every　time　she　managed　to　fall　for　it。

“But　Blair…”　Nate　struggled　to　his　feet。

Suddenly；　she　felt　the　vodka　sodas　from　earlier　swirling　in　her　stomach　and　knew　she　was　going　to　throw　up。　Just　like　always。　She　felt　like　a　confused　and　lonely　fifteen…year…old。　And　it　was　all　Nate’s　fault。

She　ran　into　the　bathroom；　kneeled　down；　and　retched　into　the　toilet　bowl　again　and　again。　When　she　was　finished；　she　leaned　her　forehead　against　the　cool　whiteness　of　the　toilet　seat；　knowing　she　looked　as　pathetic　as　she　felt。

“You　okay？”　she　heard　from　the　other　side　of　the　door。　Nate’s　voice　sounded　whiny；　the　way　it　sometimes　did　when　he　was　really；　really　baked。　That　was　what　gave　her　the　motivation　to　stand　up；　splash　her　face　with　water；　vigorously　brush　her　teeth　with　her　imported　Marvis　toothpaste；　and　emerge　from　the　bathroom。　Nate　was　standing　at　the　door；　his　hands　at　his　sides；　shifting　from　foot　to　foot。

“Blair—”　he　began。

“Get　out！”　Blair　yelled　with　every　force　of　her　being。　“You’re　bad　for　me。　I　never　want　to　see　you　again。”　She　opened　the　door；　her　whole　body　shaking；　but　Nate　just　stood　there。

“Fine；”　she　said。　“If　you　won’t　leave；　I　will。”　And　with　that　she　was　gone。

Sometimes　misery　doesn’t　love　pany。

puppy　love

Vanessa　banged　around　the　kitchen　of　the　loft；　feeling　like　an　angry　housewife。　It　was　almost　ten　o’clock　and　she　hadn’t　heard　from　Hollis　since　she　stormed　out　of　their　pitch　meeting。　No；　scratch　that。　Since　she　stormed　out　of　his　pitch　meeting。　She　pulled　out　a　mug　from　the　cabinet　and　boiled　water　to　make　tea。　She　wasn’t　one　of　those　people　who　drank　when　she　was　upset；　so　organic　chai　would　have　to　do。

The　worst　thing　about　it　was　that　she’d　done　this　to　herself。　She　used　to　be　a　shaven…headed；　black…garbed；　kick…ass　filmmaker　who　always　wore　steel…toe　boots　and　didn’t　put　up　with　shit　from　anyone。　Now　she　was　this　needy　girlfriend　type　without　any　projects　of　her　own；　without　an　apartment　of　her　own；　and　with　no　one　she　could　even　talk　to。　Last　year；　Vanessa　had　spent　practically　every　Friday　night　with　the　other　NYU　film　majors　at　Bushwick　Country　Club；　a　Williamsburg　bar　with　mini　golf。　But　ever　since　she　and　Hollis　had　bee　serious；　it　had　bee　harder　and　harder　to　carve　out　time　to　meet　with　her　old　friends。　She　considered　calling　her　sister；　Ruby；　but　all　she　and　Piotr　could　talk　about　was　whether　the　fetus　was　the　size　of　a　gerbil　or　an　avocado。

She　heard　the　whir　of　the　elevator　and　felt　her　stomach　twist　in　contempt。　What　the　fuck　was　the　point　of　living　in　Brooklyn　if　you　had　an　elevator　leading　straight　to　your　apartment？

“Hey。”　Hollis　sheepishly　walked　into　the　apartment；　holding　a　box　of　Franzia　wine　out　like　a　peace　offering。　In　his　other　hand　was　a　leash—attached　to　a　brown　and　white　puppy。　The　wine　was　an　inside　joke；　since　one　of　their　first　dates　had　been　at　a　tiny　Chinese　restaurant　that　served　free　boxed　wine。

And　the　puppy？

“Celebrating　your　new　deal？”　Vanessa　refused　to　take　the　wine　from　his　hands　or　even　ask　about　the　dog。　She　grabbed　her　mug　of　tea　and　walked　into　their　newly　set…up　corner　office。　One　side　was　hers；　the　other　his。　She　opened　her　MacBook　Pro　and　clicked　onto　the　apartment　listings　on　Craigslist。　She　didn’t　really　want　to　move　or　break　up　with　Hollis；　but　she　didn’t　know　what　else　to　do。

“Don’t　be　mad。”　Hollis　put　his　hands　on　Vanessa’s　shoulders　and　whirled　her　Aeron