Vanessa？s。 ？I？m an ass…hole；？ she declared； one lone tear spilling over her cheek。 ？I can？t believe
I ever doubted him。？ Vanessa brushed the tear away with her fingers； and Ruby held her glass in
the air； her drunken brown eyes shining in the dim light。 ？A toast？？ ？To your wedding！？ Vanessa
yelled； clinking glasses with her sister and then downing the contents of the glass。
Twenty minutes and another shot later； the room was spinning。 The Coyote Ugly girls were up on
the bar line dancing； screaming insults into a megaphone； and Vanessa found herself unable to tear
her eyes away as the girls worked the room。 They were soconfident 。 One gorgeous brunette in a
tight black wifebeater； rhinestone…studded jeans； and a cowboy hat danced furiously on top of the
bar； her body shaking with the music。 A guy in front of the bar in a pink Izod shirt with the collar
popped grabbed her leg。 The brunette bent down； smiling wickedly； and doused him with a pitcher
of water hidden behind the bar。 The crowd erupted in cheers。
Ruby grabbed Vanessa？s arm and slurred； ？You should be up there； V。 You？re hotter thanany of
those girls！？ Then she pushed her from behind； shoving her toward the bar。 ？Get up there and
show them how it？s done！？ Vanessa looked down at her hot outfit； enjoying the feel of the blond
hair swinging around her face as she moved。 She pushed up to the front of the crowd and extended
her hand toward the Daisy Duke brunette； who whooped and pulled her up onto the bar。 Vanessa
surveyed the crowd； feeling a sudden surge of power。 She started swinging her hips； her platforms
kicking shot glasses off the bar as she moved her feet。
If only that cab driver who？d mistaken her for a guy could see her now？he？d beg for forgiveness。
So what if Dan； the guy she？d thought was the love of her life； only liked her for her bald head？
She was as much of a woman as anyone else in here。 And now she freakinglooked like it。
？What？s up； hot stuff？？ the bartender purred； grabbing her by the waist； pulling her close。 The
crowd went wild； cheering and whooping with raucous； liquor…soaked shouts。
？Hey baby！？ A guy up front tried to get Vanessa？s attention while someone else shouted； ？Shake
it； girl！？ Vanessa shook her hips and two…stepped her way down the slick surface of the bar；
winking at frat guys and flipping her long blond hair as she went。 Okay； so maybe this wasn？t the
most mature way to deal with Dan rejecting her； but hearing all the encouraging whoops and
hollers sure as hell felt therapeutic。
Sothat？s what thoseGirls Gone Wild videos are about？healing。 As if！
A drunken guy with a blond buzz cut held out a fistful of dollar bills in his hand； gesturing to her
and shouting loudly。 Without a moment？s thought； Vanessa bent at the waist and grabbed the
sleeve of his blue Abercrombie T…shirt； pulling him closer as if she were about to kiss him。 Then
she grabbed a pitcher of water from behind the bar and dumped it over the poor guy？s head。 She
wasn？t just doing this for herself？she was doing it for girls with gay ex…boyfriends everywhere。
The crowd went wild； screaming and cheering； and through her alcoholic haze Vanessa could
hear her sister？s drunken voice holler over the din？
？Yeah！ That？s mysister ！？ Aw。Wouldn？t mom be proud？
FROM： trentdawg_87@yahoo。
TO： narchibald@st。judes。edu
Subject： Whassup？
Nate dawg！
Looks like it？s going to be you and me next year； dawg。 And you know our room will be the
place to be for all the hot bitches。 I can？t wait to get me some of that Ivy League tail？some kinky
librarian shit。 Yeeeeeeh； dawg！
Truth is； dawg； I won？t be round the crib too much this fall； so you can hit the library honeys in
peace。 What up！ See； I？m a swimmer and coach makes us eat； like； all of our meals together and
practice until players start dying。 Seriously。 And if that ain？t enough； there are all sorts of wicked
brutal pranks and shit the seniors pull on us freshies。 It？s going to be gnarly。
So here？s the dizzle： you get the girls through November； and then you？re going to have to fork
over some of those hotties。 Hook it up； dawg！
Holla back；
T
TO： trentdawg_87@gmail。
FROM： narchibald@stjudes。edu
Subject： re： Whassup？
Hey T；
Enjoy the single； dude？I？m not ing。
Later；
Nate （dawg）
it？s a family affaaaaaair
Dan sat on the lumpy brown leather sofa； resting his arms on his knees and staring pensively at
the night sky framed by the open window。 The cool thing about the city was that the sky was never
really totally dark？the glare of streetlights cast a glow on the whole city no matter what time it
was？so that even if you were awake at say； three in the morning； like he was now； you didn？t feel
so lonely。 Dan was usually forted by the city lights and sounds of people out and about； but
tonight it was having the opposite effect？it was as if everyone else was out doing something fun
while he was stuck here all alone。 His mom and dad had gone to bed at nine…thirty after drinking
two bottles of wine and looking through his mom？s slide show of her life with her count。 Dan had
decided to skip that one； thanks very much。 Six hours later he was still wide awake； his laptop
open across his knees； the screen blank。 It was weird that Vanessa hadn？t e home yet； and he
was starting to get a little worried？not that he was waiting up for her or anything。
Uh…huh。 Sure he wasn？t。
He had tried to go to bed just after midnight； but he just couldn？t seem to fall asleep。 After a
couple hours of staring at the ceiling； he？d decided sleep was out of the question and that the
couch was a better bet。 Too many unanswered questions were floating around in his head； and they
were starting to make him dizzy。
Dan was glad he？d figured stuff out with Greg； but after realizing thatVanessa was the inspiration
for his poem； he was more confused than ever。 If he was gay； then why was he writing a love
poem inspired by a girl？ Maybe when Vanessa came home； he？d nonchalantly ask her what she
thought about this whole gay thing as she was getting ready for bed； and then he could let it slip
that he wasn？t too sure of it。Then he？d hug her and they？d sit down and reallytalk ？just the way
they used to。 If she evercame home； that is 。 。 。 His chest ached thinking of the possibility that
Vanessa had met someone else and was at this very moment in some hipster？s smoky； messy
apartment； doing bong hits and peeling off her clothes in front of some indie band asshole with too
much wax in his hair and not enough rocks tumbling around in his head。
Just then Dan heard the scraping sound of a key in the lock and the creaking noise the front door
always made as it opened。Finally 。 His heart buoyed； but he didn？t want Vanessa to think he？d
been up waiting for her。 He closed the laptop and lay down flat； trying to look like he had simply
fallen asleep on the couch； writing。 He heard the sound of footsteps tiptoeing across the room and
felt a pair of warm hands on his face。 He smiled sleepily； turning over。 Vanessa？s hands were so
soft 。 。 。 but she kind of smelled like those peanuts； the ones you get on airplanes。
Dan opened his eyes and yelped； sitting up quickly as he focused on his sister？s freckled face just
inches from his own。 Jenny Humphrey stood above him； wearing a purple Juicy Couture sweat
suit and navy Pumas。
？Surprise！？ She whispered loudly； reaching over and messing up his hair。 He swatted her hand
away。
？You know I hate when you do that；？ Dan hissed。 Despite his rude wele； he found himself
grinning stupidly。 He was glad to see his sister？it felt like ages ago since she？d left for Europe to
study art for the summer。 He？d missed having her around to talk to。
？I know you hate it。 That？s why I do it。？ Jenny grinned and sat down on the couch； shaking her
curly brown hair back from her round cheeks。 She leaned back in for a hug； and Dan wrapped his
arms around his little sister； breathing in her familiar； forting scent of bubble gum and Dolce
& Gabbana Light Blue perfume。
？Seriously； though； what are youdoing here？ You almost gave me a heart attack。？ Dan leaned
back on the couch and gazed at his sister； still unable to believe she was really here。
？Hello； I？m going to school in a few days too。？ She dropped a bulging； dark green Coach duffel
bag on the floor。 ？And； besides； it was kind of sad to be so far away when the family was all
together for the first time in； like；years 。 I wanted to e home and be here while Mom was
around。？ ？So how was Europe？？ Dan ran his hands through his hair so that it stuck up in mousy
brown clumps all over his head。 He knew he should be mad at Jenny for telling his mom he was
gay； but all of his anger dissolved the second he saw his little sister？s sweet； angelic face。 ？Have
any beret…wearing Europeanlovaaaahs ？？ Jenny stuck her tongue out at her brother and reached
down to pull off her sneakers。 ？Nope； but if I meet anyone who fits that description I？ll be sure to
pass him along to you；？ she retorted。 ？I didn？t know that was your type。？ She smirked at her own
wit。 ？Seriously though？how？s it feel to be gay？？ Dan； realizing he was naked to the waist； grabbed
a dirty gray sweatshirt from the other side of the couch and pulled it on。 ？It？s 。 。 。 I？m not sure；？ he
said； his head getting stuck in an armhole。 ？I？m kind of confused about the whole thing；？ he added
once he finally got his head out。
？Well； duh！？ Jenny exclaimed； repositioning herself on the couch。 ？Shove over！？ She pushed his
body with her hip。 Dan noticed that her face seemed a little more grown…up to him？or maybe it
was just that he hadn？t seen her in a while。 It seemed less 。 。 。 round。 ？I mean； that？s normal； right？？
she asked。
？How should I know？？ Dan flopped back against the arm of the couch； exasperated。 ？It？s not like
I have a lot of experience with this whole thing。？ He turned his head toward the window； his voice
wistful。 ？I just wish I could find someone to justbe with； you know？？ He wasn？t even sure what he
meant by that？he was with people all the time。 All he knew was that he？d felt really 。 。 。 lonely
lately。 Sure； every man was an island； but this was getting ridiculous。
？Don？t worry；？ Jenny said quietly； reaching over and patting her brother？s hand。 ？You？ll find
someone。 I mean； any guy would be totally lucky to have you。？
It was sweet of her to say that； but Dan wasn？t entirely sure it was true。 ？Yeah； I guess；？ he
mumbled。
？Well； what kind of guys do you like； anyway？？ Jenny reached up and pulled her relentlessly
curly hair into a knot。 ？I？m pretty sure it？s not the ones who wear berets。？ Dan laughed despite
himself。 ？I don？t know。？ He picked up the TV remote from the floor and fiddled with it。 ？How
many kindsare there； anyway？？ ？Uh；a lot ；？ she giggled； pulling off a thin purple sock； balling it
up and throwing it at his face。 ？What about the hip…hop guys who hang out by the Christopher
Street PATH station？？ Jenny held up a hand as if she was going to start counting the types on her
fingers。 ？Or the Chelsea dudes with too many hair product