His white hair was neatly bed back from a deeply tanned； severely lined face。 A gold wedding
band winked from his wrinkled； leathery hand。 As Nate approached； the man stood and gripped
Nate？s palm。
？Nate Archibald。 You？re the spitting image of your father；？ Chips growled with a Scottish accent。
He looked at Nate with crinkly…lidded blue eyes beneath bushy white brows； and motioned to the
leather…cushioned chair across from his。 ？Sit。 Have a drink。？ Chips sat back down and gestured to
the waiter； a man in his forties with neatly bed sandy hair falling over a wide forehead。 Chips
pointed at his glassful of amber…colored liquid and held up two wizened fingers。 ？You like scotch？？
He cocked an eyebrow at Nate。
？Sure。？ Nate shuffled his legs under the table。 ？Anything？s fine。？ The waiter leaned in； speaking
softly。 ？I？m sorry； sir；？ he whispered apologetically。 ？I？m going to need to see some ID。？ Nate
paused for a second； feeling like he？d been trapped。 He？d already agreed to have scotch； but now
he？d have to show his fake ID。 Was Chips setting him up？ He gulped and reached into the back
pocket of his cargo shorts； retrieving the battered brown leather wallet his dad had given him for
his sixteenth birthday。 He pulled out the fake ID he？d gotten off the Internet。 It looked pretty good；
and it usually worked？except for the fact they？d mixed up the hair and eyes categories； so if you
read it closely it said ？brown eyes； green hair。？ The waiter peered at the ID for a long moment and
Nate shifted in his chair guiltily。 When the waiter looked up； he shot him a wry smile。 ？Very
good；sir ；？ he added； handing Nate back the laminated card。
？I always say；？ Chips declared； ？that all it takes to cure life？s woes is a bottle of good scotch and
the open sea。？ He chuckled and slapped the tabletop with one hand as if to punctuate his speech。
Nate nodded lamely as he leaned back in his chair； trying to get fortable。 He glanced around
the room。 He was the youngest person there by at least forty years？clusters of wizened old men
were gathered at every single oak table； each man gruffer and stonier than the next。 One of them
had an actual eye patch。 The old cyclops squinted in Nate？s direction with his one good eye。
Before Nate could start to muse on what terrible sailing accident had caused him to lose his
eyeball； the white…jacketed waiter returned and placed a glass of scotch in front of him。
？Thank you；？ he mumbled。
？Cheers； my boy。？ Chips lifted his tumbler and then took a huge swig。 Nate quickly followed suit；
gagging on the fiery amber liquid。 The scotch was freaking strong？stronger than anything he？d
ever had？and Chips was drinking it like lemonade。Whowas this guy？
？You？re nothing like what I thought；？ Nate blurted out； turning red and taking another small；
tentative nip。 From everything his dad had told him about Chips； Nate had thought he would be a
total hard…ass who？d give him lecture on getting his shit together the second he sat down。 But so
far Chips couldn？t have beenless like Nate？s father。 He seemed almostmellow。
？Ha！？ Chips laughed； slapping his stiff…looking extended leg。 ？You though you were going to be
meeting Captain White； didn？t you？ Some cantankerous； salt…waterlogged old geezer who would
read you the riot act？ Maybe a hook for an arm？ That it？？ Nate nodded； blushing。 He looked over
at the eye…patch man； hoping he hadn？t heard Chips？s little outburst。 He？d probably be kind of
offended。 Who knew what these old sailor guys were like when they got angry？ ？Well； uh 。 。 。 yeah。
I mean； my dad？s pretty pissed at me right now and everything。 I thought he？d send me to
someone who knew how to 。 。 。 hunt。？ Chips chuckled and drained his glass in one even swallow。
He signaled the waiter for a refill。 The waiter appeared at his side almost instantaneously； picking
up the empty glass and whisking it quietly away。 Nate couldn？t help but notice that for a place
called the Grill Room； they didn？t seem to be serving much of anything grilled？or really anything
to eat； period。 Just booze。
Who？s plaining？
Chips turned back to him and began again。 ？Well； Nate； let me tell you？thatwas me？a long；long
time ago。 Back when I was your dad？s captain； I was the strictest； most serious sonofabitch
you？ve ever laid eyes on。 But it？s been a lot of years since then； and I？ve learned quite a few
things。？ Chips leaned back in his chair； his blue eyes twinkling。 ？There？s a certain kind of clarity
that es with old age。You really learn to put everything into perspective。 Youhave to。？ The
waiter appeared and set a fresh drink down in front of him； ice cubes rattling。 Chips drummed his
fingers on the snow white tablecloth。 His eyes scanned the room； and he lifted a hand and gave a
small wave to an old man in full white military dress who looked about a hundred and fifty years
old。 ？What are your priorities； Nate？ What doyou want from life？？ Nate was silent for a moment
and Chips continued。 ？For me； it？s the open sea？the sun on my face； the sound of waves。？ He
closed his eyes。 ？The simple things。 The good stuff。？ He opened his eyes and raised his glass。 Nate
took another burning gulp。
The simple things sounded good to Nate。 In fact； they soundedright 。 He was so tired of
everything being so 。 。 。 challenging。Why couldn？t things just be easy for a change？
Being the prince of the Upper East Side isso exhausting。 Chips opened the large white menu and
perused it thoughtfully； humming softly to himself。
Nate looked at him over the top of his menu and suddenly wished there were a menu for real
life？one that listed all of his options； and how much they cost。 ？I don？t know what I want；？ he
admitted； his voice echoing in the cavernous room。 The minute he said it aloud； he knew it was
true。 He looked around again at all the old sailors； each and every one a man who？d chosen a path
in life and stuck with it。 One had even lost an eye over what he？d chosen。 Or maybe they were just
a bunch of old seaworthy fuckups。
？I？ll tell you one thing。？ Chips closed his menu and leaned across the table。 ？You？ve got to think
with your balls； not your dick。？ His breath smelled like applesauce laced with grain
alcohol。 ？Because the men who think with their dicks are cowards；？ he finished； leaning back and
nodding sagely。
Nate felt himself nodding back； even though he had no idea what Chips was talking about。 Had
he been thinking with his balls or his dick？ Was he a coward？ Itwas kind of cowardly not to have
told Blair that he hadn？t really graduated； that he wasn？t going to Yale with her。 。 。 。
Chips summoned the waiter again。 ？Two hard…boiled eggs and a shaker of salt；？ he
manded。 ？For both of us。？ Nate surrendered his menu to the waiter。 Chips seemed to think
his ？I don？t know what I want？ was about the food。 Nate hated hard…boiled eggs； and all this talk
of thinking with his dick and balls had kind of taken away his appetite for anything but that strong；
barely drinkable scotch； anyway。
Well； drink up； honey。 It might help you grow some。
v？s tea party for two
Vanessa stepped through the doors of the Galapagos Art Space in Brooklyn and looked around。
The room was cavernous and densely packed with Williamsburg hipsters wearing striped shirts
and sporting asymmetrical haircuts。 Bar…height tables were sprinkled haphazardly throughout the
room like croutons on a salad； and the grating sounds of three…chord punk blasted from the
loudspeakers。 Vanessa spied Ruby？s bandmates fussing with wires and plugs on a platform in the
center of the room。 The drum kit was adorned with the word SUGARDADDY； their band？s name；
in garish red letters。 She scanned the stage for Ruby； but her sister was nowhere in sight。
As Vanessa maneuvered her way to the front of the room； protecting her camera from dirty art
boys and their Jack…and…Cokes； she spotted Piotr sitting at a table right in front of the stage； a full
pitcher of Coke sitting in front of him。 When Piotr saw her； he waved her over。 Vanessa sighed；
wishing she were more excited about filming her sister？s last gig as a single woman。 She needed it
to round out the Ruby
Retrospective she was making for her sister？s wedding present； but the reality of shooting the
shit with her futurebrother…in…law ； whom her sister would bemarrying in just five days； was kind
of unbearable。 Vanessa kept forcing herself to say wedding…related words over and over again in
her head to make it more real。
She got closer to his table and tried to smile。 Droplets of water beaded on the cold pitcher of
Coke。 Vanessa licked her lips。 She was pretty thirsty？maybe she could put up with Piotr for a few
minutes while she loaded her camera and set up。 If he was going to be family soon； she？d have to
learn to converse with him； right？
？What？s up？？ she asked； plunking her camera down on the table and almost knocking over the
Coke。
？？Allo； Vanessa。You made it；？ Piotr said with an awkward； crooked…toothed smile。 ？You want？？
He gestured to the glass on the table。
She took a seat； resisting her desire to push him onto the sticky floor and run。 The guy could
barely speak proper English and now he was about to be her brother…in…law？ ？That？d be great；？
she replied tensely。
Piotr walked to the bar to get her a glass； and Vanessa noticed that even though he was still
wearing those gross leather pants； he really wasn？t half…bad looking； with his shaggy blond hair
and tight black T…shirt。 Okay； so his crooked teeth and smoker？s cough weren？t exactly
swoon…worthy； but at least they made him sort of 。 。 。 quirky。
Vanessa looked around the room； accidentally catching the eye of a frighteningly large man in a
red T…shirt with cut…off sleeves that read GUNS DON？T KILL PEOPLE？IKILL
PEOPLE。 His biceps were enormous and covered in tattoos。 He saw her staring and gave a
toothy smile； then started heading through the pack of people toward her table。 Vanessa looked
wildly around； hoping he was headed toward someone else。 Just then Piotr swooped in and fell
back into his seat； and the big guy scowled and backed off。 Phew。 Vanessa never thought she？d be
so happy to see her sister？s fianc？。
？So 。 。 。？ Piotr filled her glass； apparently unaware of the fate he？d just saved her from。 ？You film
show tonight； yes？？ ？Yes。？ Vanessa nodded like a maniac。 ？I film show。？Fuck 。 It was hard not to
talk like him once you got into a conversation。 She took a sip of Coke； sputtering when she
realized it wasn？t Coke at all but Guinness。
？I am also making Ruby gift。？ Piotr moved his stool slightly closer to hers。 ？In my country；？？he
tapped his chest with one finger？？it is customary for groom to give bride special gift。？ Piotr
paused and took a sip of beer； licking his lips before continuing。 ？I shop all day for something I
think she like。？ ？What did you get her？？Vanessa asked； curious now。
Piotr smiled again； his whole face lighting up。 ？When we met； she tell me when she was？how
you say？ Small？？ He gestured with his hands to indicate someone short。
Vanessa nodded； taking a sip of the dark beer。 ？You mean when she was