，但一定是从你当时的选择中能得到的最大快乐。尝试一些新的东西，也许，你总是想尝试更多，却总觉得做不到。那么，带着一种寻根问底的态度去试试看吧，你可能会发现它们令你愉快，并想继续下去；可能发现它们很好，但不值得继续；也可能发现自己根本不喜欢，把它们删除会感觉更好。尝试并真正去经历，会让你的自我感觉更好，也会让你对自己的能力更有信心。
… 心灵小语
在日常生活中，我们所接受的教育往往会使我们对自己产生怀疑，认为自己缺乏某种能力。但我们可以尝试着去理解这种教育方式，并学习新的方式以增强自我认可度、自我认同感，真正地接受自己。
Learning to Accept Yourself
Anonymous
We are not born doubting ourselves。 We learn to do it。 In fact； we are usually taught to doubt ourselves。 Often we are taught to do so by otherwise well…meaning people who are passing along their own doubts and uncertainties and who believe they are being protective and caring。 What these people （usually parents and other significant adults） want are strong； capable and self…confident people； but they often inadvertently teach us thought processes that lead to something else。 That’s the bad news。 The good news is that we can understand some of these processes and learn new ways of coping that allow us to bee more accepting of ourselves。 Following are six behaviors you may have learned that can be unlearned and allow you to move toward greater self…acceptance。
Moralistic1 Self…judgment
One way to really dislike yourself is to always judge yourself in a very moralistic way。 People often spend a lot of time and energy labeling their behavior with moral adjectives such as “bad” “hateful” and “mean”。 When you apply these kinds of words to yourself you make liking yourself much more difficult。 There is a more productive way of looking at yourself that will allow you to begin to like yourself more。 Instead of evaluating yourself in this moralistic way； begin to ask questions like： “Did I do what I really wanted to do in this situation？”“How can I correct the misunderstanding that occurred？” In other words； you can start to view what you’ve done as productive or non…productive rather than as good or bad。 If something is non…productive； you can focus on what you have learned from it and try another approach that might be more productive。
Over…generalizing
Another thing that might cause you not to accept yourself is over…generalizing about something you’ve done that you don’t like。 So； for example； if you fail a test you might generalize and say； “I’m really a stupid person。” When you do this you are making a statement about all of you all of the time and not just about this one situation at this time。 Instead； you might decide that your grade on this test in this subject at this time was indeed poor； and then go on to decide what you want to do about your poor grade； if anything。 Getting stuck in over…generalizing discourages you from taking steps that might allow you to do better on the next exam and builds an expectation of future failure。
学会接受自己（3）
Impossibly High Standards
Having standards that are impossibly high is a third way you can not accept yourself。 It may not e as a surprise to you that most of us are more demanding of ourselves than we are of others。 Somehow we can tolerate the fact that other people fail； that they aren’t always kind； that they’ve done things they aren’t proud of； but we have difficulty accepting those very human aspects of ourselves。 The need to be perfect is another way to set yourself up for failure and enhance the feeling that you are not acceptable。 We all make mistakes。 Accepting less than perfection simply means recognizing the limitations inherent2 in being born a human being。 Learn to value who you are rather than who you could bee。 To quote Linus； a sober and often worried character from a popular ic strip；“The world’s heaviest burden is a great potential。” Wouldn’t it be overwhelming if we always had to do what we imagine we could do？ Nobody has the time and energy to do all of that。 We must make choices about what we will pursue and do them the best we can under the circumstances （which aren’t always ideal； by the way）。
Not Accepting that there Are Real Limits to Your Abilities
The idea that you should always be able to attain your goals as long as you work hard enough is another factor interfering with self…acceptance。 You will reach many of your goals and should give yourself credit for having done so。 Some of us have trouble seeing our successes because we focus so much on our failures and many times the failures e after a lot of hard work and personal suffering。 It seems that all that hard work should pay off in our having reaching the goal we set out to achieve。 It is hard to accept that a given goal may be out of our reach and that may be because of many factors； including the fact that we may not have the talent or skill needed to reach the goal。 Of course there may be other factors in operation that make the achieving of that goal at that time impossible— health concerns； financial problems； family difficulties； extraneous stressors； or any number of other factors acting alone or together。 The real trick to self…acceptance is to see that the goal is unattainable； at least for now； and shifting your focus to acplishing what you can acplish under the circumstances。 That could include evaluating your original goal and deciding whether or not to continue with it。 It also means giving yourself credit for what you have acplished and what you have learned from your experiences。
The parison Trap
Judging yourself by what others have acplished is a sure way to lower your self…acceptance。 Have you noticed that you never pare yourself to people who seem to aspire to less than you do and that you always chose those people who are the top performers or the most popular as your yardstick3 for success？ Are you as good as your friends； your brother or sister； your parents or Joe Blow？ And how about trying to be like “normal” people are？ （And who or what determines what is “normal”？） Can you only be good if you’re better than someone else？ When we use other people as our yardstick； we aren’t taking into consideration our own personal limitations or talents。 For example； if someone seems to be more articulate than you； you can respond in one of two ways： You can bee upset and depressed by telling yourself that you should be as articulate4 as that person； or you can recognize and accept the fact that there are probably a lot of people out there who are more articulate than you at certain times and under certain circumstances and that is OK。 It doesn’t mean a thing about you。 Playing the parison game is a dead end street。 By doing that you are probably missing some other qualities by which you can judge your own worth； like your honesty； friendliness； caring nature； dedication and so forth。 And really； people don’t value you for how much you are like someone else。 They do value you for the ways you are being you。。 最好的txt下载网
学会接受自己（4）
Passivity5
Just passively letting your life happen may make it more difficult to accept yourself。 Part of accepting yourself is engaging in activities that help you like yourself。 Think back to those times when you weren’t concerned about your acceptability。 What kinds of things were you doing？ How were you spending your time？ To accept and like yourself means that you approve of how you are living your life。 If you aren’t accepting yourself； you probably don’t like the activities you’re engaged in。 You are feeling dissatisfied。 A way to increase your self…acceptance is to bee more actively engaged in your life。 Look for those activities and relationships that give you the most enjoyment —not necessarily the most enjoyment you could possibly have； but the most you can get from your choices at the moment。 Try new things； perhaps things you have always wanted to try but didn’t because you felt you couldn’t do them。 Try them with the attitude that you want to know what it would actually be like to do them。 You may find that they are enjoyable and that you want to continue them。 You may find that they are OK； but not worth continuing。 You may find that you don’t like them at all and feel fine about crossing them off your list of things to do。 Trying and getting real experience is a way of feeling better about yourself and gaining more confidence in your abilities。
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爱自己
佚名
小时候，我总觉得自爱是一种虚荣，不是优点。
长大后，像很多人一样，我逐渐摈弃了这种观念。虚荣和自爱之间有着天壤之别。
我们都在人世间努力奋斗，所追寻的或多或少有几分相似：奉献、让我们的人生有价值、爱与被爱、欢笑甚至……哭泣。
我们寻求庇护所、食物、伴侣、温暖、衣服、家庭、朋友，追求赞赏、爱情和自尊。我们都不完美。通常，在追求过程中，我们忘记了生活中细微的快乐。过分沉溺在过去，专注在未来，和其他的一切可能，结果我们的今天反而遗失了。让昨天长眠吧，活在今天，来期待和梦想明天。
如果某些部分有损你的形象，妨碍你去爱自己，只要你能够，改变它吧！生活中有太多控制不了的事，但是我们自己，却可以控制。你是黏土，同时也是雕刻家，你有能力创造一幅杰作。模型和样板已经形成，你要做的只是精雕细琢。
这个任务轻松吗？不，它有瑕疵和缺陷，你需要坚持不懈地努力，像一个雕刻家那样在作品完成之前，反复雕琢。雕塑家难道会因为某件作品有一点瑕疵或裂痕，就认为该作品毫无价值，而将之抛弃吗？当然不会，那样的话，世间还有艺术珍品吗？我想一件都没有。你想想，会有多少杰作在创造的过程中是毫无缺陷、没有经过任何改动、一蹴而就的呢？我们怎能看不见所有艺术品中最最珍品的人类呢？它才是最有生命力、生生不息的杰作。
多少次，你听到一个这样的问题：人类将何去何从？至少在我看来，这个答案要看我们的创造，因为是我们在编织未来。你就是无价之宝，万事万物中无可替代。尽管身为杰作，我们并不完美，但别让昨天阻碍你明天的成就。
再重申一次，这些言语只是我个人的感受和想法，人的思想会随着明天的日落而改变，尽管我也在继续雕琢这块与生俱来的泥塑，它就叫做自我。
Love of Self
Anonymous
When I was younger； I thought that to love one’s self was vanity and not a virtuous1 trait。
As I have grown older； that belief has passed away； as have so many others。 There is a vast deviation2 between being vain and loving one’s self。
We are all in this world together striving for more or less the same things。 To contribute and have our lives count for something。 To love and be loved； to laugh and…yes； to cry。
We seek shelter； nourishment； a mate； warmth； clothing； family； friends； we seek approval； love and self…esteem。 We are all imperfect。 Often during our search we forget to simply enjoy what life is。 We bee so caught up in what could have been； what should be； what might be； that many of our todays are lost。 Let yesterday rest； live for today； hope and dream for your tomorrows。
If there is some part of you that lessens your self…image； some part of you that prevents you from loving yourself； change it； for only you can。 Life is filled with things we have no control over； but ourselves； we can control。 You are the clay； you are the sculptor3 and you have the ability to create a masterpiece。 The shape and form are there。 You have only to refine the work。
Is the task an easy one？ No。 There will be sips and flaws and you will be required to work and rework just as a sculptor must rework the clay before the piece is pleted。 Shou