“我听其他女孩说，她们盼望能长大一点，那样的话，她们就可以交男朋友了。因此我就去问老师史密斯太太，什么是男朋友。她告诉我男朋友就是吻你的男生。所以在回家的路上，我告诉那些校车上的女孩，我已经有男朋友了。现在，他们都很羡慕我，并且想要和我做朋友。”现在，珍妮的父母有些担心了。“是哪个男生吻你了？你的男朋友是谁呀？”珍妮的母亲问道。“有什么问题吗？就是爸爸呀。”珍妮说，“他每晚都会吻我，跟我说晚安，因此他就是我的男朋友。仔细想想，妈妈每晚也会吻我，跟我说晚安，因此我认为你是我的女朋友。我要和校车上的女孩说，我也有一个男朋友和一个女朋友啦！”
First Boyfriend
Once upon a time； there was a little girl named Jenny。 Jenny and her family lived on a farm。 Jenny liked to play with the animals on the farm。 Her parents raised cows； chickens and pigs。 Jenny also had a brother and his name was Jason。 She liked to play with Jason also； but he was much older than her。 He preferred to play with his friends。 Since Jason was old enough to ride a bike； he was old enough to leave the farm yard。
Jason would bike over to the neighboring farms and play with other boys who were his age。
Jenny couldn’t wait until she was old enough to go to school。 She knew that she would find other girls to be friends with once she could get on the bus to go into the city for school each day。 When Jenny turned five years old； she started going to school。 She was having difficulties making friends though。 It seemed she didn’t have anything in mon with the other little girls her age。 Fortunately； Jenny came from a loving family。 Her mother and father would tuck her in each night at bedtime and each of them would give her a kiss。
They promised her that she would soon find something that she had in mon with the other girls on the bus。
One day； Jenny came home from school。 Instead of being melancholy； she was happy and excited。 Her parents asked her about it。 Jenny explained to them that she had found something that she had in mon with the other girls on the bus。 She was finally starting to make friends with them。
“What do you have in mon with the other girls； Jenny？” her dad asked。 “I have a boyfriend；” Jenny said。 Her parents were concerned。 “Do you know what a boyfriend is； Jenny？” her mom asked。书包 网 。 想看书来
聪明人生 第二章（3）
“I heard the other girls talking about wanting to be older so they could have boyfriends。 I asked my teacher Mrs。 Smith what a boyfriend was。 She said it’s a boy who kisses you。 So I told the girls on the bus on the way home that I had a boyfriend already。 Now they all are jealous of me and want to be my friend。” Now Jenny’s parents were worried。 “What boy is kissing you？ Who is this boyfriend of yours？” Jenny’s mom asked her。 “Why； it’s Daddy；” Jenny said。 “He kisses me goodnight。 That makes him my boyfriend；” she said。 “e to think of it； Mommy kisses me goodnight； too； so I guess that makes you my girlfriend。 Wait until the girls on the bus hear I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend； too！”
他懂了
两个美国人在西班牙旅游。一天上午，他们走进一家小餐馆吃午饭。他们不会说西班牙语，侍者也不会说英语。他们想让侍者知道他们想要点一些牛奶和三明治。
起初，他们说了好多次“牛奶”，接着又写了下来，而侍者还是不明白他们说的是什么。
最后，其中一个人拿出一张纸，画了一头牛。画完后，侍者看了一眼，便跑了出去。“看到了吧，”其中的一个人说道，“一支铅笔对一个身在国外并遇到困难的人来说是多么重要！”
不一会儿，侍者回来了，不过拿的却不是牛奶。
他在这两个人面前放了两张斗牛的表演票。
He Understood
Two Americans were traveling in Spain。 One morning they came into a little restaurant for lunch。 They did not know Spanish； and their waiter did not know English。 They wanted him to understand that they wanted some milk and sandwiches。
At first they pronounced the word “milk” many times。 Then they spelled it。 But the waiter could not understand them。
At last one of them took a piece of paper and began to draw a cow。 He was finishing his drawing； when the waiter looked at it and ran out of the restaurant。 “Do you see；” said one of the travelers； “what a pencil can do for a man who has difficulties in a foreign country？”
The waiter was back again some time after； but he brought no milk。
He put down in front of the two men tickets for a bullfight。
订客房
一位男士给一家旅馆写信，想要预订房间，并询问可否带狗一起入住。
以下是旅馆经理的回信：
“我经营旅馆已三十余年。我从未请警察把一只没有教养的狗驱逐出去，从未发现有哪只狗用香烟将床铺烧着，也未曾看到狗的箱子里有旅馆的毛巾或毯子。毫无疑问，我们欢迎你的狗到来。
“附言：假如你的狗能为你担保，你也能一同前来。”
Making Reservations
A man wrote to a hotel to make reservations and asked if dogs were allowed。
The hotel manager answered his letter as follows：
“I’ve been in this business for thirty years。 I have never had to call the police to eject a disorderly dog。 Never had a dog set fire to a bed with a cigarette。 I have never found a hotel towel or blanket in a dog’s suitcase。 Certainly the dog will be wele。”
“P。 S。 If your dog will vouch for you； you can e along too。”
聪明人生 第三章（1）
小提琴课
“爸爸，我能学拉小提琴吗？”小莎拉问她的父亲。她总是要这要那，所以她的爸爸很不高兴。
“你已经花了很多钱了，莎拉，”他说，“起初你想学骑马，然后想学跳舞，后来是游泳。现在又想学拉小提琴。”
“我会每天都练习的，爸爸，”莎拉说，“我会认真刻苦的。”
“好吧，”她爸爸说。“我会这么做：我付6个星期的小提琴课的钱，6个星期后你必须拉首曲子给我听。如果你拉得很好，就可以继续上小提琴课，如果你拉得很差，就不要再学了。”
“行，爸爸，”莎拉说，“这很公平。”
很快，她的父亲就找到了一个很好的小提琴老师，莎拉开始学拉小提琴了。虽然学费很高，但她的父亲兑现了诺言。
6个星期很快就过去了。该莎拉拉小提琴给她的父亲听了。
她走进起居室说：“我准备好拉小提琴给您听了。”
“好啊，莎拉，”她的父亲说。“开始吧。”
莎拉开始拉了，她拉得很差，小提琴发出可怕的噪音。
刚好她父亲的一位朋友也在旁边，朋友再也无法忍受，只好用手捂着耳朵。
一曲终了，她的父亲说：“很好，莎拉。你可以继续学琴了。”
听到父亲这么说，莎拉高兴地跑出门去。在场的朋友对她的父亲说：“你已经花了不少钱了，可她还是拉得不怎么样。”
“噢，的确如此，”她爸爸说，“但自从她开始学小提琴以后，我就可以以很便宜的价格买下这幢楼的5个公寓。再过6周，我就可以拥有整幢楼啦！”
Violin Lessons
“Daddy； can I learn to play the violin？” young Sarah asked her father。 She was always asking for things and her father was not very pleased。
“You cost me a lot of money； Sarah；” he said。“First you wanted Io learn horse riding； then dancing； then swimming。 Now it’s the violin。”
“I’ll play every day。 Daddy。” Sarah said； “I’ll try very hard。”
“All fight；” her father said。 “This is what I’ll do。 I’ll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks。 At the end of six weeks you must play something for me。 If you play well； you can have more lessons。 If you play badly； I will stop the lessons。”
“OK。 Daddy；” Sarah said； “That is fair。”
He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons。 The teacher was very expensive； but her father kept his promise。
The six weeks passed quickly。 The time came for Sarah to play for her father。
She went to the living room and said。 “I’m ready to play for you； Daddy。”
“Fine； Sarah；” her father said； “Begin。”
She began to play。 She played very badly。 She made a terrible noise。
Her father had one of his friends with him； and the friend put his hands over his ears。
When Sarah finished； her father said； “Well done； Sarah。 You can have more lessons。” Sarah ran happily out of the room。 Her father’s friend turned to him。 “You’ve spent a lot of money； but she still plays very badly。” he said。
“Well； that’s true；” her father said； “But since she started learning the violin I’ve been able to buy five apartments in this building very cheaply。 In another six weeks I’ll own the whole building！”
谨 慎
一位父亲正在和他的女儿一起玩耍。这时，小家伙说道：“爸爸，我今天在学校读到一篇关于动物的文章。文章里说，冬天它们都会换上一件崭新的皮外套。” txt小说上传分享
聪明人生 第三章（2）
“小点声！”父亲赶紧打断女儿，“你妈妈在隔壁。”
Wariness
A father was playing with his daughter when the little one said； “Dad； I read in school that animals get a new fur coat every winter。”
“Quiet！” retorted the father； “Your mother is in the next room！”
移植头发
一个秃头的人在一家美容店里坐了下来。
“您需要什么服务呢？”美容师问。
“我以前做过头发移植，”这个人解释道，“可是我忍受不了疼痛。假如你可以让我的头发像你的一样，却又不会给我带来什么不舒服的感觉，我就给你5000美圆。”
“没问题，”美容师说，于是，她很快剃光了自己的头发。
Hair Transplant
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop。
“How can I help you？” asked the stylist。
“I went for a hair transplant；” the guy explained；“but I couldn’t stand the pain。 If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any disfort； I will pay you 5000。”
“No problem；” said the stylist； and she quickly shaved her head。
泄漏秘密
一个没有经验的顾客第一次来到农贸市场。他看见在水芥摊上，有个男人把水芥一匣一匣地拿起来，翻来覆去地仔细端详着，最后还抖了两下。这个人迫切地想要学一点购物的窍门，便问他是否愿意泄漏一点他那奇怪行为的秘密。“没问题，”那个男人回答，“我在找我的汽车钥匙。”
Divulging the Secret
On his first visit to a produce market； an inexperienced shopper saw a man at the watercress stall systematically picking up each tiny carton of cress； peering closely at it； turning it upside down and finally shaking it。 Eager to learn something； the new shopper asked if the man would mind divulging the secret of his odd behavior。 “Not at all；” he replied。 “I’m looking for my car keys。”
第一次约会
和第一次约会的女友共度了整个晚上之后，男士连一分钟都难以忍受了。约会前，他就偷偷和朋友商量好了，一旦遇到这种状况，朋友就打电话给他，这样他就可以找到离开的借口了。
回来后，他垂下了眼睛，一脸沮丧地说： “我有一个坏消息，我的爷爷刚刚去世了。”
“感谢上帝，”女友回答道：“多亏你有坏消息，否则我就会有坏消息告诉你了。”
Blind Date
After being with his blind date all evening； the man couldn’t take another minute with her。 Earlier； he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened。
When he returned to the table； he lowered his eyes； put on a grim expression and said；“I have some bad news。 My grandfather just died。 ”
“Thank heavens；” his date replied。 “If yours hadn’t； mine would have had to！”
当敌兵袭击你时
警官正在给他的连队上一堂战斗课，他问：“约瑟，假如你看到有700名敌兵正朝你冲过来，你会怎么办？“
约瑟说：“我会用我的枪打死他们。”
警官问：“你看到你的右方有400名敌兵正向你扑过来，你会怎么办？”
约瑟说：“我会用我的枪打死他们。”
警官继续说：“很好，约瑟，你注意到你的左方有1；000名敌兵正直冲你奔来，你会怎么办？”
约瑟又回答：“我会用我的枪打死他们。”
警官大叫：“稍等，约瑟，你是从哪里得到这些子弹的？” 。 想看书来
聪明人生 第三章（3）
士兵笑了笑，说道：“您在同一个地方从哪里把这些敌兵调集来的呢？”
When Enemy Soldiers e at You
The first sergeant was holding a class on bat for his pany。 He said