Whilst she sat in taut suspense； the laughter rushed back at
her； knowing he was fumbling in his pocket to shove the flower
away。
In the end； she felt weak； exhausted and thoroughly
depressed。 A blankness of wincing depression came over her。 She
hated the presence of the other people。 Her face became quite
haughty。 She was unaware of her cousin any more。
When the collection arrived with the last hymn； her cousin
was again singing resoundingly。 And still it amused her。 In
spite of the shameful exhibition she had made of herself； it
amused her still。 She listened to it in a spell of amusement。
And the bag was thrust in front of her； and her sixpence was
mingled in the folds of her glove。 In her haste to get it out；
it flipped away and went twinkling in the next pew。 She stood
and giggled。 She could not help it： she laughed outright； a
figure of shame。
〃What were you laughing about； our Anna？〃 asked Fred； the
moment they were out of the church。
〃Oh； I couldn't help it；〃 she said； in her careless；
half…mocking fashion。 〃I don't know why Cousin Will's
singing set me off。〃
〃What was there in my singing to make you laugh？〃 he
asked。
〃It was so loud；〃 she said。
They did not look at each other； but they both laughed again；
both reddening。
〃What were you snorting and laughing for； our Anna？〃 asked
Tom； the elder brother； at the dinner table； his hazel eyes
bright with joy。 〃Everybody stopped to look at you。〃 Tom was in
the choir。
She was aware of Will's eyes shining steadily upon her；
waiting for her to speak。
〃It was Cousin Will's singing；〃 she said。
At which her cousin burst into a suppressed； chuckling laugh；
suddenly showing all his small； regular； rather sharp teeth； and
just as quickly closing his mouth again。
〃Has he got such a remarkable voice on him then？〃 asked
Brangwen。
〃No； it's not that；〃 said Anna。 〃Only it tickled me……I
couldn't tell you why。〃
And again a ripple of laughter went down the table。
Will Brangwen thrust forward his dark face； his eyes dancing；
and said：
〃I'm in the choir of St。 Nicholas。〃
〃Oh； you go to church then！〃 said Brangwen。
〃Mother does……father doesn't；〃 replied the youth。
It was the little things； his movement； the funny tones of
his voice； that showed up big to Anna。 The matter…of…fact things
he said were absurd in contrast。 The things her father said
seemed meaningless and neutral。
During the afternoon they sat in the parlour； that smelled of
geranium； and they ate cherries； and talked。 Will Brangwen was
called on to give himself forth。 And soon he was drawn out。
He was interested in churches； in church architecture。 The
influence of Ruskin had stimulated him to a pleasure in the
medieval forms。 His talk was fragmentary； he was only half
articulate。 But listening to him； as he spoke of church after
church； of nave and chancel and transept； of rood…screen and
font； of hatchet…carving and moulding and tracery； speaking
always with close passion of particular things； particular
places； there gathered in her heart a pregnant hush of churches；
a mystery； a ponderous significance of bowed stone； a
dim…coloured light through which something took place obscurely；
passing into darkness： a high； delighted framework of the mystic
screen； and beyond； in the furthest beyond； the altar。 It was a
very real experience。 She was carried away。 And the land seemed
to be covered with a vast； mystic church； reserved in gloom；
thrilled with an unknown Presence。
Almost it hurt her； to look out of the window and see the
lilacs towering in the vivid sunshine。 Or was this the jewelled
glass？
He talked of Gothic and Renaissance and Perpendicular； and
Early English and Norman。 The words thrilled her。
〃Have you been to Southwell？〃 he said。 〃I was there at twelve
o'clock at midday； eating my lunch in the churchyard。 And the
bells played a hymn。
〃Ay； it's a fine Minster； Southwell； heavy。 It's got heavy；
round arches； rather low； on thick pillars。 It's grand； the way
those arches travel forward。
〃There's a sedilia as well……pretty。 But I like the main
body of the church……and that north porch……〃
He was very much excited and filled with himself that
afternoon。 A flame kindled round him； making his experience
passionate and glowing； burningly real。
His uncle listened with twinkling eyes； half…moved。 His aunt
bent forward her dark face； half…moved； but held by other
knowledge。 Anna went with him。
He returned to his lodging at night treading quick； his eyes
glittering； and his face shining darkly as if he came from some
passionate； vital tryst。
The glow remained in him； the fire burned； his heart was
fierce like a sun。 He enjoyed his unknown life and his own self。
And he was ready to go back to the Marsh。
Without knowing it； Anna was wanting him to e。 In him she
had escaped。 In him the bounds of her experience were
transgressed： he was the hole in the wall； beyond which the
sunshine blazed on an outside world。
He came。 Sometimes； not often； but sometimes； talking again；
there recurred the strange； remote reality which carried
everything before it。 Sometimes； he talked of his father； whom
he hated with a hatred that was burningly close to love； of his
mother； whom he loved； with a love that was keenly close to
hatred； or to revolt。 His sentences were clumsy； he was only
half articulate。 But he had the wonderful voice； that could ring
its vibration through the girl's soul； transport her into his
feeling。 Sometimes his voice was hot and declamatory； sometimes
it had a strange； twanging； almost cat…like sound； sometimes it
hesitated； puzzled； sometimes there was the break of a little
laugh。 Anna was taken by him。 She loved the running flame that
coursed through her as she listened to him。 And his mother and
his father became to her two separate people in her life。
For some weeks the youth came frequently； and was received
gladly by them all。 He sat amongst them； his dark face glowing；
an eagerness and a touch of derisiveness on his wide mouth；
something grinning and twisted； his eyes always shining like a
bird's； utterly without depth。 There was no getting hold of the
fellow； Brangwen irritably thought。 He was like a grinning young
tom…cat； that came when he thought he would； and without
cognizance of the other person。
At first the youth had looked towards Tom Brangwen when he
talked； and then he looked towards his aunt； for her
appreciation； valuing it more than his uncle's； and then he
turned to Anna； because from her he got what he wanted； which
was not in the elder people。
So that the two young people； from being always attendant on
the elder； began to draw apart and establish a separate kingdom。
Sometimes Tom Brangwen was irritated。 His nephew irritated him。
The lad seemed to him too special； self…contained。 His nature
was fierce enough； but too much abstracted； like a separate
thing； like a cat's nature。 A cat could lie perfectly peacefully
on the hearthrug whilst its master or mistress writhed in agony
a yard away。 It had nothing to do with other people's affairs。
What did the lad really care about anything； save his own
instinctive affairs？
Brangwen was irritated。 Nevertheless he liked and respected
his nephew。 Mrs。 Brangwen was irritated by Anna； who was
suddenly changed； under the influence of the youth。 The mother
liked the boy： he was not quite an outsider。 But she did not
like her daughter to be so much under the spell。
So that gradually the two young people drew apart； escaped
from the elders； to create a new thing by themselves。 He worked
in the garden to propitiate his uncle。 He talked churches to
propitiate his aunt。 He followed Anna like a shadow： like a
long； persistent； unswerving black shadow he went after the
girl。 It irritated Brangwen exceedingly。 It exasperated him
beyond bearing； to see the lit…up grin； the cat…grin as he
called it； on his nephew's face。
And Anna had a new reserve； a new independence。 Suddenly she
began to act independently of her parents； to live beyond them。
Her mother had flashes of anger。
But the courtship went on。 Anna would find occasion to go
shopping in Ilkeston at evening。 She always returned with her
cousin； he walking with his head over her shoulder； a little bit
behind her； like the Devil looking over Lincoln； as Brangwen
noted angrily and yet with satisfaction。
To his own wonder； Will Brangwen found himself in an electric
state of passion。 To his wonder； he had stopped her at the gate
as they came home from Ilkeston one night； and had kissed her；
blocking her way and kissing her whilst he felt as if some blow
were struck at him in the dark。 And when they went indoors； he
was acutely angry that her parents looked up scrutinizing at him
and her。 What right had they there： why should they look up！ Let
them remove themselves； or look elsewhere。
And the youth went home with the stars in heaven whirling
fiercely about the blackness of his head； and his heart fierce；
insistent； but fierce as if he felt something baulking him。 He
wanted to smash through something。
A spell was cast over her。 And how uneasy her parents were；
as she went about the house unnoticing； not noticing them；
moving in a spell as if she were invisible to them。 She was
invisible to them。 It made them angry。 Yet they had to submit。
She went about absorbed； obscured for a while。
Over him too the darkness of obscurity settled。 He seemed to
be hidden in a tense； electric darkness； in which his soul； his
life was intensely active； but without his aid or attention。 His
mind was obscured。 He worked swiftly and mechanically； and he
produced some beautiful things。
His favourite work was wood…carving。 The first thing he made
for her was a butter…stamper。 In it he carved a mythological
bird； a phoenix； something like an eagle； rising on symmetrical
wings； from a circle of very beautiful flickering flames that
rose upwards from the rim of the cup。
Anna thought nothing of the gift on the evening when he gave
it to her。 In the morning； however； when the butter was made；
she fetched his seal in place of the old wooden stamper of
oak…leaves and acorns。 She was curiously excited to see how it
would turn out。 Strange； the uncouth bird moulded there； in the
cup…like hollow； with curious； thick waverings running inwards
from a smooth rim。 She pressed another mould。 Strange； to lift
the stamp and see that eagle…beaked bird raising its breast to
her。 She loved creating it over and over again。 And every time
she looked； it seemed a new thing e to life。 Every piece of
butter became this strange； vital emblem。
She showed it to her mother and father。
〃That is beautiful；〃 said her mother； a little light ing
on to her face。
〃Beautiful！〃 exclaimed the father； puzzled； fretted。 〃Why；
what sort of a bird does he call it？〃
And this was the question put by the customers during the
next weeks。
〃What sort of a bird do you call that； as you've got
on th' butter？〃
When he came in the evening； she took him into the dairy to
show him。
〃Do you like it？〃 he asked； in his loud； vibrating voice that
always sounded strange； re…echoing in the dark places of her
being。
They very r