¡¶The Rainbow-ºç(Ó¢ÎÄ°æ)¡·

ÏÂÔر¾Êé

Ìí¼ÓÊéÇ©

The Rainbow-ºç(Ó¢ÎÄ°æ)- µÚ39²¿·Ö


°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·­Ò³£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
which¡¡all¡¡and¡¡everything¡¡must¡¡move¡¡on¡¡to¡¡eternity¡£

But¡¡now£»¡¡somehow£»¡¡sadly¡¡and¡¡disillusioned£»¡¡he¡¡realized¡¡that
the¡¡doorway¡¡was¡¡no¡¡doorway¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡too¡¡narrow£»¡¡it¡¡was¡¡false¡£
Outside¡¡the¡¡cathedral¡¡were¡¡many¡¡flying¡¡spirits¡¡that¡¡could¡¡never
be¡¡sifted¡¡through¡¡the¡¡jewelled¡¡gloom¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡lost¡¡his
absolute¡£

He¡¡listened¡¡to¡¡the¡¡thrushes¡¡in¡¡the¡¡gardens¡¡and¡¡heard¡¡a¡¡note
which¡¡the¡¡cathedrals¡¡did¡¡not¡¡include£º¡¡something¡¡free¡¡and
careless¡¡and¡¡joyous¡£¡¡He¡¡crossed¡¡a¡¡field¡¡that¡¡was¡¡all¡¡yellow¡¡with
dandelions£»¡¡on¡¡his¡¡way¡¡to¡¡work£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡bath¡¡of¡¡yellow¡¡glowing
was¡¡something¡¡at¡¡once¡¡so¡¡sumptuous¡¡and¡¡so¡¡fresh£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was
glad¡¡he¡¡was¡¡away¡¡from¡¡his¡¡shadowy¡¡cathedral¡£

There¡¡was¡¡life¡¡outside¡¡the¡¡Church¡£¡¡There¡¡was¡¡much¡¡that¡¡the
Church¡¡did¡¡not¡¡include¡£¡¡He¡¡thought¡¡of¡¡God£»¡¡and¡¡of¡¡the¡¡whole¡¡blue
rotunda¡¡of¡¡the¡¡day¡£¡¡That¡¡was¡¡something¡¡great¡¡and¡¡free¡£¡¡He
thought¡¡of¡¡the¡¡ruins¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Grecian¡¡worship£»¡¡and¡¡it¡¡seemed£»¡¡a
temple¡¡was¡¡never¡¡perfectly¡¡a¡¡temple£»¡¡till¡¡it¡¡was¡¡ruined¡¡and
mixed¡¡up¡¡with¡¡the¡¡winds¡¡and¡¡the¡¡sky¡¡and¡¡the¡¡herbs¡£

Still¡¡he¡¡loved¡¡the¡¡Church¡£¡¡As¡¡a¡¡symbol£»¡¡he¡¡loved¡¡it¡£¡¡He
tended¡¡it¡¡for¡¡what¡¡it¡¡tried¡¡to¡¡represent£»¡¡rather¡¡than¡¡for¡¡that
which¡¡it¡¡did¡¡represent¡£¡¡Still¡¡he¡¡loved¡¡it¡£¡¡The¡¡little¡¡church
across¡¡his¡¡garden¡­wall¡¡drew¡¡him£»¡¡he¡¡gave¡¡it¡¡loving¡¡attention¡£
But¡¡he¡¡went¡¡to¡¡take¡¡charge¡¡of¡¡it£»¡¡to¡¡preserve¡¡it¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡as¡¡an
old£»¡¡sacred¡¡thing¡¡to¡¡him¡£¡¡He¡¡looked¡¡after¡¡the¡¡stone¡¡and
woodwork£»¡¡mending¡¡the¡¡organ¡¡and¡¡restoring¡¡a¡¡piece¡¡of¡¡broken
carving£»¡¡repairing¡¡the¡¡church¡¡furniture¡£¡¡Later£»¡¡he¡¡became
choir¡­master¡¡also¡£

His¡¡life¡¡was¡¡shifting¡¡its¡¡centre£»¡¡being¡¡more¡¡superficial¡£
He¡¡had¡¡failed¡¡to¡¡bee¡¡really¡¡articulate£»¡¡failed¡¡to¡¡find¡¡real
expression¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡to¡¡continue¡¡in¡¡the¡¡old¡¡form¡£¡¡But¡¡in¡¡spirit£»
he¡¡was¡¡uncreated¡£

Anna¡¡was¡¡absorbed¡¡in¡¡the¡¡child¡¡now£»¡¡she¡¡left¡¡her¡¡husband¡¡to
take¡¡his¡¡own¡¡way¡£¡¡She¡¡was¡¡willing¡¡now¡¡to¡¡postpone¡¡all¡¡adventure
into¡¡unknown¡¡realities¡£¡¡She¡¡had¡¡the¡¡child£»¡¡her¡¡palpable¡¡and
immediate¡¡future¡¡was¡¡the¡¡child¡£¡¡If¡¡her¡¡soul¡¡had¡¡found¡¡no
utterance£»¡¡her¡¡womb¡¡had¡£

The¡¡church¡¡that¡¡neighboured¡¡with¡¡his¡¡house¡¡became¡¡very
intimate¡¡and¡¡dear¡¡to¡¡him¡£¡¡He¡¡cherished¡¡it£»¡¡he¡¡had¡¡it¡¡entirely¡¡in
his¡¡charge¡£¡¡If¡¡he¡¡could¡¡find¡¡no¡¡new¡¡activity£»¡¡he¡¡would¡¡be¡¡happy
cherishing¡¡the¡¡old£»¡¡dear¡¡form¡¡of¡¡worship¡£¡¡He¡¡knew¡¡this¡¡little£»
whitewashed¡¡church¡£¡¡In¡¡its¡¡shadowy¡¡atmosphere¡¡he¡¡sank¡¡back¡¡into
being¡£¡¡He¡¡liked¡¡to¡¡sink¡¡himself¡¡in¡¡its¡¡hush¡¡as¡¡a¡¡stone¡¡sinks
into¡¡water¡£

He¡¡went¡¡across¡¡his¡¡garden£»¡¡mounted¡¡the¡¡wall¡¡by¡¡the¡¡little
steps£»¡¡and¡¡entered¡¡the¡¡hush¡¡and¡¡peace¡¡of¡¡the¡¡church¡£¡¡As¡¡the
heavy¡¡door¡¡clanged¡¡to¡¡behind¡¡him£»¡¡his¡¡feet¡¡re¡­echoed¡¡in¡¡the
aisle£»¡¡his¡¡heart¡¡re¡­echoed¡¡with¡¡a¡¡little¡¡passion¡¡of¡¡tenderness
and¡¡mystic¡¡peace¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡also¡¡slightly¡¡ashamed£»¡¡like¡¡a¡¡man¡¡who
has¡¡failed£»¡¡who¡¡lapses¡¡back¡¡for¡¡his¡¡fulfilment¡£

He¡¡loved¡¡to¡¡light¡¡the¡¡candles¡¡at¡¡the¡¡organ£»¡¡and¡¡sitting¡¡there
alone¡¡in¡¡the¡¡little¡¡glow£»¡¡practice¡¡the¡¡hymns¡¡and¡¡chants¡¡for¡¡the
service¡£¡¡The¡¡whitewashed¡¡arches¡¡retreated¡¡into¡¡darkness£»¡¡the
sound¡¡of¡¡the¡¡organ¡¡and¡¡the¡¡organ¡­pedals¡¡died¡¡away¡¡upon¡¡the
unalterable¡¡stillness¡¡of¡¡the¡¡church£»¡¡there¡¡were¡¡faint£»¡¡ghostly
noises¡¡in¡¡the¡¡tower£»¡¡and¡¡then¡¡the¡¡music¡¡swelled¡¡out¡¡again£»
loudly£»¡¡triumphantly¡£

He¡¡ceased¡¡to¡¡fret¡¡about¡¡his¡¡life¡£¡¡He¡¡relaxed¡¡his¡¡will£»¡¡and
let¡¡everything¡¡go¡£¡¡What¡¡was¡¡between¡¡him¡¡and¡¡his¡¡wife¡¡was¡¡a¡¡great
thing£»¡¡if¡¡it¡¡was¡¡not¡¡everything¡£¡¡She¡¡had¡¡conquered£»¡¡really¡£¡¡Let
him¡¡wait£»¡¡and¡¡abide£»¡¡wait¡¡and¡¡abide¡£¡¡She¡¡and¡¡the¡¡baby¡¡and
himself£»¡¡they¡¡were¡¡one¡£¡¡The¡¡organ¡¡rang¡¡out¡¡his¡¡protestation¡£¡¡His
soul¡¡lay¡¡in¡¡the¡¡darkness¡¡as¡¡he¡¡pressed¡¡the¡¡keys¡¡of¡¡the
organ¡£

To¡¡Anna£»¡¡the¡¡baby¡¡was¡¡a¡¡plete¡¡bliss¡¡and¡¡fulfilment¡£¡¡Her
desires¡¡sank¡¡into¡¡abeyance£»¡¡her¡¡soul¡¡was¡¡in¡¡bliss¡¡over¡¡the¡¡baby¡£
It¡¡was¡¡rather¡¡a¡¡delicate¡¡child£»¡¡she¡¡had¡¡trouble¡¡to¡¡rear¡¡it¡£¡¡She
never¡¡for¡¡a¡¡moment¡¡thought¡¡it¡¡would¡¡die¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡a¡¡delicate
infant£»¡¡therefore¡¡it¡¡behoved¡¡her¡¡to¡¡make¡¡it¡¡strong¡£¡¡She¡¡threw
herself¡¡into¡¡the¡¡labour£»¡¡the¡¡child¡¡was¡¡everything¡£¡¡Her
imagination¡¡was¡¡all¡¡occupied¡¡here¡£¡¡She¡¡was¡¡a¡¡mother¡£¡¡It¡¡was
enough¡¡to¡¡handle¡¡the¡¡new¡¡little¡¡limbs£»¡¡the¡¡new¡¡little¡¡body£»¡¡hear
the¡¡new¡¡little¡¡voice¡¡crying¡¡in¡¡the¡¡stillness¡£¡¡All¡¡the¡¡future
rang¡¡to¡¡her¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡sound¡¡of¡¡the¡¡baby's¡¡crying¡¡and¡¡cooing£»
she¡¡balanced¡¡the¡¡ing¡¡years¡¡of¡¡life¡¡in¡¡her¡¡hands£»¡¡as¡¡she
nursed¡¡the¡¡child¡£¡¡The¡¡passionate¡¡sense¡¡of¡¡fulfilment£»¡¡of¡¡the
future¡¡germinated¡¡in¡¡her£»¡¡made¡¡her¡¡vivid¡¡and¡¡powerful¡£¡¡All¡¡the
future¡¡was¡¡in¡¡her¡¡hands£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡hands¡¡of¡¡the¡¡woman¡£¡¡And¡¡before
this¡¡baby¡¡was¡¡ten¡¡months¡¡old£»¡¡she¡¡was¡¡again¡¡with¡¡child¡£¡¡She
seemed¡¡to¡¡be¡¡in¡¡the¡¡fecund¡¡of¡¡storm¡¡life£»¡¡every¡¡moment¡¡was¡¡full
and¡¡busy¡¡with¡¡productiveness¡¡to¡¡her¡£¡¡She¡¡felt¡¡like¡¡the¡¡earth£»
the¡¡mother¡¡of¡¡everything¡£

Brangwen¡¡occupied¡¡himself¡¡with¡¡the¡¡church£»¡¡he¡¡played¡¡the
organ£»¡¡he¡¡trained¡¡the¡¡choir¡­boys£»¡¡he¡¡taught¡¡a¡¡Sunday¡­school
class¡¡of¡¡youths¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡happy¡¡enough¡£¡¡There¡¡was¡¡an¡¡eager£»
yearning¡¡kind¡¡of¡¡happiness¡¡in¡¡him¡¡as¡¡he¡¡taught¡¡the¡¡boys¡¡on
Sundays¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡all¡¡the¡¡time¡¡exciting¡¡himself¡¡with¡¡the¡¡proximity
of¡¡some¡¡secret¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡not¡¡yet¡¡fathomed¡£

In¡¡the¡¡house£»¡¡he¡¡served¡¡his¡¡wife¡¡and¡¡the¡¡little¡¡matriarchy¡£
She¡¡loved¡¡him¡¡because¡¡he¡¡was¡¡the¡¡father¡¡of¡¡her¡¡children¡£¡¡And¡¡she
always¡¡had¡¡a¡¡physical¡¡passion¡¡for¡¡him¡£¡¡So¡¡he¡¡gave¡¡up¡¡trying¡¡to
have¡¡the¡¡spiritual¡¡superiority¡¡and¡¡control£»¡¡or¡¡even¡¡her¡¡respect
for¡¡his¡¡conscious¡¡or¡¡public¡¡life¡£¡¡He¡¡lived¡¡simply¡¡by¡¡her
physical¡¡love¡¡for¡¡him¡£¡¡And¡¡he¡¡served¡¡the¡¡little¡¡matriarchy£»
nursing¡¡the¡¡child¡¡and¡¡helping¡¡with¡¡the¡¡housework£»¡¡indifferent
any¡¡more¡¡of¡¡his¡¡own¡¡dignity¡¡and¡¡importance¡£¡¡But¡¡his¡¡abandoning
of¡¡claims£»¡¡his¡¡living¡¡isolated¡¡upon¡¡his¡¡own¡¡interest£»¡¡made¡¡him
seem¡¡unreal£»¡¡unimportant¡£

Anna¡¡was¡¡not¡¡publicly¡¡proud¡¡of¡¡him¡£¡¡But¡¡very¡¡soon¡¡she¡¡learned
to¡¡be¡¡indifferent¡¡to¡¡public¡¡life¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡not¡¡what¡¡is¡¡called¡¡a
manly¡¡man£º¡¡he¡¡did¡¡not¡¡drink¡¡or¡¡smoke¡¡or¡¡arrogate¡¡importance¡£¡¡But
he¡¡was¡¡her¡¡man£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡very¡¡indifference¡¡to¡¡all¡¡claims¡¡of
manliness¡¡set¡¡her¡¡supreme¡¡in¡¡her¡¡own¡¡world¡¡with¡¡him¡£¡¡Physically£»
she¡¡loved¡¡him¡¡and¡¡he¡¡satisfied¡¡her¡£¡¡He¡¡went¡¡alone¡¡and¡¡subsidiary
always¡£¡¡At¡¡first¡¡it¡¡had¡¡irritated¡¡her£»¡¡the¡¡outer¡¡world¡¡existed
so¡¡little¡¡to¡¡him¡£¡¡Looking¡¡at¡¡him¡¡with¡¡outside¡¡eyes£»¡¡she¡¡was
inclined¡¡to¡¡sneer¡¡at¡¡him¡£¡¡But¡¡her¡¡sneer¡¡changed¡¡to¡¡a¡¡sort¡¡of
respect¡£¡¡She¡¡respected¡¡him£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡could¡¡serve¡¡her¡¡so¡¡simply
and¡¡pletely¡£¡¡Above¡¡all£»¡¡she¡¡loved¡¡to¡¡bear¡¡his¡¡children¡£¡¡She
loved¡¡to¡¡be¡¡the¡¡source¡¡of¡¡children¡£

She¡¡could¡¡not¡¡understand¡¡him£»¡¡his¡¡strange£»¡¡dark¡¡rages¡¡and¡¡his
devotion¡¡to¡¡the¡¡church¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡the¡¡church¡¡building¡¡he¡¡cared¡¡for£»
and¡¡yet¡¡his¡¡soul¡¡was¡¡passionate¡¡for¡¡something¡£¡¡He¡¡laboured
cleaning¡¡the¡¡stonework£»¡¡repairing¡¡the¡¡woodwork£»¡¡restoring¡¡the
organ£»¡¡and¡¡making¡¡the¡¡singing¡¡as¡¡perfect¡¡as¡¡possible¡£¡¡To¡¡keep
the¡¡church¡¡fabric¡¡and¡¡the¡¡church¡­ritual¡¡intact¡¡was¡¡his¡¡business£»
to¡¡have¡¡the¡¡intimate¡¡sacred¡¡building¡¡utterly¡¡in¡¡his¡¡own¡¡hands£»
and¡¡to¡¡make¡¡the¡¡form¡¡of¡¡service¡¡plete¡£¡¡There¡¡was¡¡a¡¡little
bright¡¡anguish¡¡and¡¡tension¡¡on¡¡his¡¡face£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡his¡¡intent
movements¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡like¡¡a¡¡lover¡¡who¡¡knows¡¡he¡¡is¡¡betrayed£»¡¡but¡¡who
still¡¡loves£»¡¡whose¡¡love¡¡is¡¡only¡¡the¡¡more¡¡intense¡£¡¡The¡¡church¡¡was
false£»¡¡but¡¡he¡¡served¡¡it¡¡the¡¡more¡¡attentively¡£

During¡¡the¡¡day£»¡¡at¡¡his¡¡work¡¡in¡¡the¡¡office£»¡¡he¡¡kept¡¡himself
suspended¡£¡¡He¡¡did¡¡not¡¡exist¡£¡¡He¡¡worked¡¡automatically¡¡till¡¡it¡¡was
time¡¡to¡¡go¡¡home¡£

He¡¡loved¡¡with¡¡a¡¡hot¡¡heart¡¡the¡¡dark¡­haired¡¡little¡¡Ursula£»¡¡and
he¡¡waited¡¡for¡¡the¡¡child¡¡to¡¡e¡¡to¡¡consciousness¡£¡¡Now¡¡the¡¡mother
monopolized¡¡the¡¡baby¡£¡¡But¡¡his¡¡heart¡¡waited¡¡in¡¡its¡¡darkness¡£¡¡His
hour¡¡would¡¡e¡£

In¡¡the¡¡long¡¡run£»¡¡he¡¡learned¡¡to¡¡submit¡¡to¡¡Anna¡£¡¡She¡¡forced¡¡him
to¡¡the¡¡spirit¡¡of¡¡her¡¡laws£»¡¡whilst¡¡leaving¡¡him¡¡the¡¡letter¡¡of¡¡his
own¡£¡¡She¡¡bated¡¡in¡¡him¡¡his¡¡devils¡£¡¡She¡¡suffered¡¡very¡¡much¡¡from
his¡¡inexplicable¡¡and¡¡incalculable¡¡dark¡¡rages£»¡¡when¡¡a¡¡blackness
filled¡¡him£»¡¡and¡¡a¡¡black¡¡wind¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡sweep¡¡out¡¡of¡¡existence
everything¡¡that¡¡had¡¡to¡¡do¡¡with¡¡him¡£¡¡She¡¡could¡¡feel¡¡herself£»
everything£»¡¡being¡¡annihilated¡¡by¡¡him¡£

At¡¡first¡¡she¡¡fought¡¡him¡£¡¡At¡¡night£»¡¡in¡¡this¡¡state£»¡¡he¡¡would
kneel¡¡down¡¡to¡¡say¡¡his¡¡prayers¡£¡¡She¡¡looked¡¡at¡¡his¡¡crouching
figure¡£

¡¨Why¡¡are¡¡you¡¡kneeling¡¡there£»¡¡pretending¡¡to¡¡pray£¿¡¨¡¡she¡¡said£»
harshly¡£¡¡¡¨Do¡¡you¡¡think¡¡anybody¡¡can¡¡pray£»¡¡when¡¡they¡¡are¡¡in¡¡the
vile¡¡temper¡¡you¡¡are¡¡in£¿¡¨

He¡¡remained¡¡crouching¡¡by¡¡the¡¡beside£»¡¡motionless¡£

¡¨It's¡¡horrible£»¡¨¡¡she¡¡continued£»¡¡¡¨and¡¡such¡¡a¡¡pretence£¡¡¡What¡¡do
you¡¡pretend¡¡you¡¡are¡¡saying£¿¡¡Who¡¡do¡¡you¡¡pretend¡¡you¡¡are¡¡praying
to£¿¡¨

He¡¡still¡¡remained¡¡motionless£»¡¡seething¡¡with¡¡inchoate¡¡rage£»
when¡¡his¡¡whole¡¡nature¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡disintegrate¡£¡¡He¡¡seemed¡¡to¡¡live
with¡¡a¡¡strain¡¡upon¡¡himself£»¡¡and¡¡occasionally¡¡came¡¡these¡¡dark£»
chaotic¡¡rages£»¡¡the¡¡lust¡¡for¡¡destruction¡£¡¡She¡¡then¡¡fought¡¡with
him£»¡¡and¡¡their¡¡fights¡¡were¡¡horrible£»¡¡murderous¡£¡¡And¡¡then¡¡the
passion¡¡between¡¡them¡¡came¡¡just¡¡as¡¡black¡¡and¡¡awful¡£

But¡¡little¡¡by¡¡little£»¡¡as¡¡she¡¡learned¡¡to¡¡love¡¡him¡¡better£»¡¡she
would¡¡put¡¡herself¡¡aside£»¡¡and¡¡when¡¡she¡¡felt¡¡one¡¡of¡¡his¡¡fits¡¡upon
him£»¡¡would¡¡ignore¡¡him£»¡¡successfully¡¡leave¡¡him¡¡in¡¡his¡¡world£»
whilst¡¡she¡¡remained¡¡in¡¡her¡¡own¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡a¡¡black¡¡struggle¡¡with
himself£»¡¡to¡¡e¡¡back¡¡to¡¡her¡£¡¡For¡¡at¡¡last¡¡he¡¡learned¡¡that¡¡he
would¡¡be¡¡in¡¡hell¡¡until¡¡he¡¡came¡¡back¡¡to¡¡her¡£¡¡So¡¡he¡¡struggled¡¡to
submit¡¡to¡¡her£»¡¡and¡¡she¡¡was¡¡afraid¡¡of¡¡the¡¡ugly¡¡strain¡¡in¡¡his
eyes¡£¡¡She¡¡made¡¡love¡¡to¡¡him£»¡¡and¡¡took¡¡him¡£¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡was¡¡grateful
to¡¡her¡¡love£»¡¡humble¡£

He¡¡made¡¡himself¡¡a¡¡woodwork¡¡shed£»¡¡in¡¡which¡¡to¡¡restore¡¡things
which¡¡were¡¡destroyed¡¡in¡¡the¡¡church¡£¡¡So¡¡he¡¡had¡¡plenty¡¡to¡¡do£º¡¡his
wife£»¡¡his¡¡child£»¡¡the¡¡church£»¡¡the¡¡woodwork£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡wage¡­earning£»
all¡¡occupying¡¡him¡£¡¡If¡¡only¡¡there¡¡were¡¡not¡¡some¡¡limit¡¡to¡¡him£»
some¡¡darkness¡¡across¡¡his¡¡eyes£¡¡¡He¡¡had¡¡to¡¡give¡¡in¡¡to¡¡it¡¡at¡¡last
himself¡£¡¡He¡¡must¡¡submit¡¡to¡¡his¡¡oe
limit¡¡to¡¡himself£»¡¡of¡¡£§something¡¡unformed¡¡in£§¡¡his¡¡own¡¡black£»
violent¡¡temper£»¡¡and¡¡to¡¡reckon¡¡with¡¡it¡£¡¡But¡¡as¡¡she¡¡was¡¡more¡¡gentle
with¡¡him£»¡¡it¡¡became¡¡quieter¡£

As¡¡he¡¡sat¡¡sometimes¡¡very¡¡still£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡bright£»¡¡vacant¡¡face£»
Anna¡¡could¡¡see¡¡the¡¡suffering¡¡among¡¡the¡¡brightness¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡aware
of¡¡some¡¡limit¡¡to¡¡himself£»¡¡of¡¡something¡¡unformed¡¡in¡¡his¡¡very
being£»¡¡of¡¡some¡¡buds¡¡which¡¡were¡¡not¡¡ripe¡¡in¡¡him£»¡¡some¡¡folded
centres¡¡of¡¡darkness¡¡which¡¡would¡¡never¡¡develop¡¡and¡¡unfold¡¡whilst
he¡¡was¡¡alive¡¡in¡¡the¡¡body¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡unready¡¡for¡¡fulfilment¡£
Something¡¡undeveloped¡¡in¡¡him¡¡limited¡¡him£»¡¡there¡¡was¡¡a¡¡darkness
in¡¡him¡¡which¡¡he¡¡could¡¡not¡¡unfold£»¡¡which¡¡would¡¡never
unfold¡¡in¡¡him¡£



CHAPTER¡¡VIII

THE¡¡CHILD

From¡¡the¡¡first£»¡¡the¡¡baby¡¡stirred¡¡in¡¡the¡¡young¡¡father¡¡a
deep£»¡¡strong¡¡emotion¡¡he¡¡dared¡¡scarcely¡¡acknowledge£»¡¡it¡¡was¡¡so
strong¡¡and¡¡came¡¡out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡dark¡¡of¡¡him¡£¡¡When¡¡he¡¡heard¡¡the¡¡child
cry£»¡¡a¡¡terror¡¡possessed¡¡him£»¡¡because¡¡of¡¡the¡¡answering¡¡echo¡¡from
the¡¡unfathomed¡¡distances¡¡in¡¡himself¡£¡¡Must¡¡he¡¡know¡¡in¡¡himself
such¡¡distances£»¡¡perilous¡¡and¡¡imminent£¿

He¡¡had¡¡the¡¡infant¡¡in¡¡his¡¡arms£»¡¡he¡¡walked¡¡backwards¡¡and
forwards¡¡troubled¡¡by¡¡the¡¡crying¡¡of¡¡his¡¡own¡¡flesh¡¡and¡¡blood¡£¡¡This
was¡¡his¡¡own¡¡flesh¡¡and¡¡blood¡¡crying£¡¡¡His¡¡soul¡¡rose¡¡against¡¡the
voice¡¡suddenly¡¡breaking¡¡out¡¡from¡¡him£»¡¡from¡¡the¡¡distances¡¡in
him¡£

Sometimes¡¡in¡¡the¡¡night£»¡¡the¡¡child¡¡cried¡¡and¡¡cried£»¡¡when¡¡the
night¡¡was¡¡heavy¡¡and¡¡sleep¡¡oppressed¡¡him¡£¡¡And¡¡half¡¡asleep£»¡¡he
stretched¡¡out¡¡his¡¡hand¡¡to¡¡put¡¡it¡¡over¡¡the¡¡baby's¡¡face¡¡to¡¡stop
the¡¡crying¡£¡¡But¡¡something¡¡arrested¡¡his¡¡hand£º¡¡the¡¡very
inhumanness¡¡of¡¡the¡¡intolerable£»¡¡continuous¡¡crying¡¡arrested¡¡him¡£
It¡¡was¡¡so¡¡impersonal£»¡¡without¡¡cause¡¡or¡¡object¡£¡¡Yet¡¡he¡¡echoed¡¡to
it¡¡directly£»¡¡his¡¡soul¡¡answered¡¡its¡¡madness¡£¡¡It¡¡filled¡¡him¡¡with
terror£»¡¡almost¡¡with¡¡frenzy¡£

He¡¡learned¡¡to¡¡acquiesce¡¡to¡¡this£»¡¡to¡¡submit¡¡to
СÌáʾ£º°´ »Ø³µ [Enter] ¼ü ·µ»ØÊéÄ¿£¬°´ ¡û ¼ü ·µ»ØÉÏÒ»Ò³£¬ °´ ¡ú ¼ü ½øÈëÏÂÒ»Ò³¡£ ÔÞһϠÌí¼ÓÊéÇ©¼ÓÈëÊé¼Ü