blind； eager wave urging blindly forward； dark with the same
homogeneous desire。 And all their talk and all their behaviour
was sham； they were dressed…up creatures。 She was reminded of
the Invisible Man； who was a piece of darkness made visible only
by his clothes。
During the next weeks； all the time she went about in the
same dark richness； her eyes dilated and shining like the eyes
of a wild animal； a curious half…smile which seemed to be gibing
at the civic pretence of all the human life about her。
〃What are you； you pale citizens？〃 her face seemed to say；
gleaming。 〃You subdued beast in sheep's clothing； you primeval
darkness falsified to a social mechanism。〃
She went about in the sensual sub…consciousness all the time；
mocking at the ready…made； artificial daylight of the rest。
〃They assume selves as they assume suits of clothing；〃 she
said to herself； looking in mocking contempt at the stiffened；
neutralized men。 〃They think it better to be clerks or
professors than to be the dark； fertile beings that exist in the
potential darkness。 What do you think you are？〃 her soul asked
of the professor as she sat opposite him in class。 〃What do you
think you are； as you sit there in your gown and your
spectacles？ You are a lurking； blood…sniffing creature with eyes
peering out of the jungle darkness； snuffing for your desires。
That is what you are； though nobody would believe it； and
you would be the very last to allow it。〃
Her soul mocked at all this pretence。 Herself； she kept on
pretending。 She dressed herself and made herself fine； she
attended her lectures and scribbled her notes。 But all in a mood
of superficial； mocking facility。 She understood well enough
their two…and…two…make…four tricks。 She was as clever as they
were。 But care！……did she care about their monkey tricks of
knowledge or learning or civic deportment？ She did not care in
the least。
There was Skrebensky； there was her dark； vital self。 Outside
the college； the outer darkness； Skrebensky was waiting。 On the
edge of the night； he was attentive。 Did he care？
She was free as a leopard that sends up its raucous cry in
the night。 She had the potent； dark stream of her own blood； she
had the glimmering core of fecundity； she had her mate； her
plement； her sharer in fruition。 So； she had all；
everything。
Skrebensky was staying in Nottingham all the time。 He too was
free。 He knew no one in this town； he had no civic self to
maintain。 He was free。 Their trams and markets and theatres and
public meetings were a shaken kaleidoscope to him； he watched as
a lion or a tiger may lie with narrowed eyes watching the people
pass before its cage； the kaleidoscopic unreality of people； or
a leopard lie blinking； watching the inprehensible feats of
the keepers。 He despised it all……it was all non…existent。
Their good professors； their good clergymen； their good
political speakers； their good； earnest women……all the time
he felt his soul was grinning； grinning at the sight of them。 So
many performing puppets； all wood and rag for the
performance！
He watched the citizen； a pillar of society； a model； saw the
stiff goat's legs； which have bee almost stiffened to wood in
the desire to make them puppet in their action； he saw the
trousers formed to the puppet…action： man's legs； but man's legs
bee rigid and deformed； ugly； mechanical。
He was curiously happy； being alone； now。 The glimmering grin
was on his face。 He had no longer any necessity to take part in
the performing tricks of the rest。 He had discovered the clue to
himself； he had escaped from the show； like a wild beast escaped
straight back into its jungle。 Having a room in a quiet hotel；
he hired a horse and rode out into the country； staying
sometimes for the night in some village； and returning the next
day。
He felt rich and abundant in himself。 Everything he did was a
voluptuous pleasure to him……either to ride on horseback； or
to walk； or to lie in the sun； or to drink in a public…house。 He
had no use for people； nor for words。 He had an amused pleasure
in everything； a great sense of voluptuous richness in himself；
and of the fecundity of the universal night he inhabited。 The
puppet shapes of people； their wood…mechanical voices； he was
remote from them。
For there were always his meetings with Ursula。 Very often；
she did not go to college in the afternoon； but walked with him
instead。 Or he took a motor…car or a dog…cart and they drove
into the country； leaving the car and going away by themselves
into the woods。 He had not taken her yet。 With subtle；
instinctive economy； they went to the end of each kiss； each
embrace； each pleasure in intimate contact； knowing
subconsciously that the last was ing。 It was to be their
final entry into the source of creation。
She took him home； and he stayed a week…end at Beldover with
her family。 She loved having him in the house。 Strange how he
seemed to e into the atmosphere of her family； with his
laughing； insidious grace。 They all loved him； he was kin to
them。 His raillery； his warm； voluptuous mocking presence was
meat and joy to the Brangwen household。 For this house was
always quivering with darkness； they put off their puppet form
when they came home； to lie and drowse in the sun。
There was a sense of freedom amongst them all； of the
undercurrent of darkness among them all。 Yet here； at home；
Ursula resented it。 It became distasteful to her。 And she knew
that if they understood the real relationship between her and
Skrebensky； her parents； her father in particular； would go mad
with rage。 So subtly； she seemed to be like any other girl who
is more or less courted by a man。 And she was like any other
girl。 But in her； the antagonism to the social imposition was
for the time plete and final。
She waited； every moment of the day； for his next kiss。 She
admitted it to herself in shame and bliss。 Almost consciously；
she waited。 He waited； but； until the time came； more
unconsciously。 When the time came that he should kiss her again；
a prevention was an annihilation to him。 He felt his flesh go
grey； he was heavy with a corpse…like inanition； he did not
exist； if the time passed unfulfilled。
He came to her finally in a superb consummation。 It was very
dark； and again a windy； heavy night。 They had e down the
lane towards Beldover； down to the valley。 They were at the end
of their kisses； and there was the silence between them。 They
stood as at the edge of a cliff； with a great darkness
beneath。
ing out of the lane along the darkness； with the dark
space spreading down to the wind； and the twinkling lights of
the station below； the far…off windy chuff of a shunting train；
the tiny clink…clink…clink of the wagons blown between the wind；
the light of Beldover…edge twinkling upon the blackness of the
hill opposite； the glow of the furnaces along the railway to the
right； their steps began to falter。 They would soon e out of
the darkness into the lights。 It was like turning back。 It was
unfulfilment。 Two quivering； unwilling creatures； they lingered
on the edge of the darkness； peering out at the lights and the
machine…glimmer beyond。 They could not turn back to the
world……they could not。
So lingering along； they came to a great oak tree by the
path。 In all its budding mass it roared to the wind； and its
trunk vibrated in every fibre； powerful； indomitable。
〃We will sit down；〃 he said。
And in the roaring circle under the tree； that was almost
invisible yet whose powerful presence received them； they lay a
moment looking at the twinkling lights on the darkness opposite；
saw the sweeping brand of a train past the edge of their
darkened field。
Then he turned and kissed her； and she waited for him。 The
pain to her was the pain she wanted； the agony was the agony she
wanted。 She was caught up； entangled in the powerful vibration
of the night。 The man； what was he？……a dark； powerful
vibration that enpassed her。 She passed away as on a dark
wind； far； far away； into the pristine darkness of paradise；
into the original immortality。 She entered the dark fields of
immortality。
When she rose； she felt strangely free； strong。 She was not
ashamed；……why should she be？ He was walking beside her； the
man who had been with her。 She had taken him； they had been
together。 Whither they had gone； she did not know。 But it was as
if she had received another nature。 She belonged to the eternal；
changeless place into which they had leapt together。
Her soul was sure and indifferent of the opinion of the world
of artificial light。 As they went up the steps of the
foot…bridge over the railway； and met the train…passengers； she
felt herself belonging to another world； she walked past them
immune； a whole darkness dividing her from them。 When she went
into the lighted dining…room at home； she was impervious to the
lights and the eyes of her parents。 Her everyday self was just
the same。 She merely had another； stronger self that knew the
darkness。
This curious separate strength； that existed in darkness and
pride of night； never forsook her。 She had never been more
herself。 It could not occur to her that anybody； not even the
young man of the world； Skrebensky； should have anything at all
to do with her permanent self。 As for her temporal； social self；
she let it look after itself。
Her whole soul was implicated with Skrebensky……not the
young man of the world； but the undifferentiated man he was。 She
was perfectly sure of herself； perfectly strong； stronger than
all the world。 The world was not strong……she was strong。
The world existed only in a secondary sense：……she existed
supremely。
She continued at college； in her ordinary routine； merely as
a cover to her dark； powerful under…life。 The fact of herself；
and with her Skrebensky； was so powerful； that she took rest in
the other。 She went to college in the morning； and attended her
classes； flowering； and remote。
She had lunch with him in his hotel； every evening she spent
with him； either in town； at his rooms； or in the country。 She
made the excuse at home of evening study for her degree。 But she
paid not the slightest attention to her study。
They were both absolute and happy and calm。 The fact of their
own consummate being made everything else so entirely
subordinate that they were free。 The only thing they wanted； as
the days went by； was more time to themselves。 They wanted the
time to be absolutely their own。
The Easter vacation was approaching。 They agreed to go right
away。 It would not matter if they did not e back。 They were
indifferent to the actual facts。
〃I suppose we ought to get married；〃 he said； rather
wistfully。 It was so magnificently free and in a deeper
world； as it was。 To make public their connection would be to
put it in range with all the things which nullified him； and
from which he was for the moment entirely dissociated。 If he
married he would have to assume his social self。 And the thought
of assuming his social self made him at once diffident and
abstract。 If she were his social wife； if she were part of that
plication of dead reality； then what had his under…life to do
with her？ One's social wife was almost a