have a way of making you look like a homeless person。 A glamorous
one； in Serena’s case。
She hadn’t had a haircut in over a year。 Last night she’d worn it
pulled back； but today it was down and looking pretty shaggy。 Her
boy’s white oxford shirt was frayed in the collar and cuffs； and
through it； her purple lace bra was visible。 On her feet was her
favorite pair of brown lace…up boots； and her black stockings had a
big hole behind one knee。 Worst of all； she’d had to buy all new
uniforms； since she’d thrown hers down the garbage chute when
she’d gone away to boarding school。 Her new uniform was what
stuck out the most。
The new uniforms were the plague of the sixth grade； which was the
year Constance girls graduated from a tunic to a skirt。 The new
skirts were made out of polyester and had pleats that were
unnaturally rigid。 The material had a terrible； tacky sheen and came
in a new color： maroon。 It was hideous。 And it was this maroon
uniform that Serena had chosen to wear on her first day back at
Constance。 Plus； hers came all the way down to her knees！ All of the
other seniors were wearing the same old navy blue wool skirts
they’d been wearing since sixth grade。 They’d grown so much their
skirts were extremely short。 The shorter the skirt； the cooler the
girl。
Blair actually hadn’t grown that much； so she’d secretly had hers
shortened。
“What the fuck is she wearing； anyway？” Kati Farkas hissed。
“Maybe she thinks the maroon looks like Prada or something；”
Laura sniggered back。
“I think she’s trying to make some kind of statement；” Isabel
whispered。 “Like； look at me； I’m Serena； I’m beautiful； I can wear
whatever I want。”
And she can； Blair thought。 That was one of the things that always
infuriated her about Serena。 She looked good in anything。
But never mind how Serena looked。 What Jenny and every other
person in the room wanted to know was： Why is she back？
They craned their necks to see。 Did she have a black eye？ Was she
pregnant？ Did she look stoned？ Did she have all her teeth？ Was
there anything different about her at all？
“Is that a scar on her cheek？” Rain whispered。
“She was knifed one night dealing drugs；” Kati whispered back。 “I
heard she had plastic surgery in Europe this summer； but they
didn’t do a very good job。”
Mrs。 McLean was reading out loud now。 Serena sat back in her chair；
crossed her legs； and closed her eyes； basking in the old familiar
feeling of sitting in this room full of girls； listening to Mrs。 M’s voice。
She didn’t know why she’d been so nervous that morning before
school。 She’d overslept and gotten dressed in five minutes； ripping
a hole in her black stocking with a jagged toenail。 She’d chosen her
brother Erik’s frayed old shirt because it smelled like him。 Erik had
gone to the same boarding school as Serena； but now he was away
at college； and she missed him terribly。
Just as she was leaving the apartment； her mother caught sight of
her and would have made her change her clothes if Serena hadn’t
been so late。
“This weekend；” her mother said； “we’re going shopping； and I’m
taking you to my salon。 You can’t go around looking like that here；
Serena。 I don’t care how they let you dress in boarding school。”
Then she kissed her daughter on the cheek and went back to bed。
“Oh my God； I think she’s asleep；” Kati whispered to Laura。
“Maybe she’s just tired；” Laura whispered back。 “I heard she got
kicked out for sleeping with every boy on campus。 There were
notches in the wall above her bed。 Her roommate told on her； that’s
the only way they found out。”
“Plus； all those late…night chicken dances；” Isabel added； sending
the girls into a giggling frenzy。
Blair bit her lip； fighting back the laughter。 It was just too funny。
If Jenny Humphrey could have heard what the girls in the senior
class were saying about Serena van der Woodsen； her idol； she
would have punched their lights out。 The minute Prayers was
dismissed； Jenny pushed past her classmates and darted out into
the hallway to make a phone call。 Her brother Daniel was going to
totally lose his shit when she told him。
“Hello？” Daniel Humphrey answered his cell phone on the third ring。
He was standing on the corner of Seventy…seventh Street and West
End Avenue； outside Riverside Prep； smoking a cigarette。 He
squinted his dark brown eyes； trying to block out the harsh October
sunlight。 Dan wasn’t into sun。 He spent most of his free time in his
room； reading morbid； existentialist poetry about the bitter fate of
being human。 He was pale； his hair was shaggy； and he was rock…
star thin。
Existentialism has a way of killing your appetite。
“Guess who’s back？” Dan heard his little sister squeal excitedly into
the phone。
Like Dan； Jenny was a bit of a loner； and when she needed someone
to talk to； she always called him。 She was the one who had bought
them both cell phones。
“Jenny； can’t this wait—” Dan started to say； sounding annoyed in
the way that only older brothers can。
“Serena van der Woodsen！” Jenny interrupted him。 “Serena is back
at Constance。 I saw her in Prayers。 Can you believe it？”
Dan watched a plastic coffee…cup lid skitter down the sidewalk。 A
red Saab sped down West End Avenue through a yellow light。 His
socks felt damp inside his brown suede Hush Puppies。
Serena van der Woodsen。 He took a long drag on his Camel。 His
hands were shaking so much he almost missed his mouth。
“Dan？” his sister squeaked into the phone。 “Can you hear me？ Did
you hear what I said？ Serena is back。 Serena van der Woodsen。”
Dan sucked in his breath sharply。 “Yeah； I heard you；” he said；
feigning disinterest。 “So what？”
“So what？” Jenny said incredulously。 “Oh； right； like you didn’t just
have a mini heart attack。 You’re so full of it； Dan。”
“No； I’m serious；” Dan said； pissily。 “What are you calling me for？
What do I care？”
Jenny sighed loudly。 Dan could be so irritating。 Why couldn’t he just
act happy for once？ She was so tired of his pale； miserable；
introspective…poet act。
“All right；” she said。 “Forget it。 I’ll talk to you later。”
She clicked off and Dan shoved his cell phone back into the pocket
of his faded black corduroys。 He snatched a pack of cigarettes out
of his back pocket and lit another one with the burning stub of the
one he was already smoking。 His thumbnail got singed； but he
didn’t even feel it。
Serena van der Woodsen。
They had first met at a party。 No； that wasn’t exactly true。 Dan had
seen her at a party； his party； the only one he’d ever had at his
family’s apartment on Ninety…ninth and West End Avenue。
It was April of eighth grade。 The party was Jenny’s idea； and their
father； Rufus Humphrey； the infamous retired editor of lesser…known
beat poets and a party animal himself； was happy to oblige。 Their
mother had already moved to Prague a few years before to “focus
on her art。” Dan invited his entire class and told them to invite as
many people as they wanted。 More than a hundred kids showed up；
and Rufus kept the beer flowing out of a keg in the bathtub； getting
many of the kids drunk for the first time。 It was the best party Dan
had ever been to； even if he did say so himself。 Not because of the
booze； but because Serena van der Woodsen was there。 Never mind
that she had gotten wasted and wound up playing a stupid Latin
drinking game and kissing some guy’s stomach with pictures
scrawled all over it in magic marker。 Dan couldn’t keep his eyes off
her。
Afterwards； Jenny told him that Serena went to her school；
Constance； and from then on Jenny was his little emissary； reporting
everything she’d seen Serena do； say； wear； etc。； and informing
Dan about any uping events where he might catch a glimpse of
her again。 Those events were rare。 Not because there weren’t a lot
of them—there were—but because there weren’t many Dan had
even a chance of going to。 Dan didn’t inhabit the same world as
Serena and Blair and Nate and Chuck。 He wasn’t anybody。 He was
just a regular kid。
For two years Dan followed Serena； yearningly； from a distance。 He
never spoke to her。 When she went away to boarding school； he
tried to forget about her； sure that he would never see her again；
unless by some act of magic they wound up at the same college。
And now she was back。
Dan walked halfway down the block； then turned around and walked
back again。 His mind was racing。 He could have another party。 He
could make invitations and get Jenny to slip one into Serena’s locker
at school。 When Serena came to his apartment； Dan would walk
right up to her and take her coat； and wele her back to New
York。
It rained every day you were gone； he’d say； poetically。
Then they would sneak into his father’s library and take each
other’s clothes off and kiss on the leather couch in front of the fire。
And when everyone left the party； they would share a bowl of
Breyers coffee ice cream； Dan’s favorite。 From then on they would
spend every minute together。 They would even transfer to a coed
high school like Trinity for the rest of senior year because they
couldn’t stand to be apart。 Then they would go to Columbia and live
in a studio apartment nearby with nothing in it but a huge bed。
Serena’s friends would try to lure her back to her old life； but no
charity ball； no exclusive black…tie dinner； no expensive party favor
could tempt her。 She wouldn’t care if she had to give up her trust
fund and her great…grandmother’s diamonds。 Serena would be
willing to live in squalor if it meant she could be with Dan。
“Fucking hell； we’ve only got five minutes until the bell rings；” Dan
heard someone say in an obnoxious voice。
Dan turned around； and sure enough； it was Chuck Bass； or “Scarf
Boy；” as Dan liked to call him； since Chuck was always wearing that
ridiculous monogrammed cashmere scarf。 Chuck was standing only
twenty feet away with two of his senior Riverside Prep pals； Roger
Paine and Jeffrey Prescott。 They didn’t speak to Dan or even nod to
acknowledge his presence。 Why should they？ These boys took the
Seventy…ninth Street crosstown bus through Central Park each
morning to school from the swanky Upper East Side； only venturing
to the West Side for school or to attend the odd party。 They were in
Dan’s class at Riverside Prep； but they were certainly not in his
class。 He was nothing to them。 They didn’t even notice him。
“Dude；” Chuck said to his friends。 He lit a cigarette。 Chuck smoked
his cigarettes like they were joints； holding them between his index
finger and thumb and sucking hard on the inhale。
Too pathetic for words。
“Guess who I saw last night？” Chuck said； blowing out a stream of
gray smoke。
“Liv Tyler？” Jeffrey said。
“Yeah； and she was all over you； right？” Roger laughed。
“No； not her。 Serena van der Woodsen；” Chuck said。
Dan’s ears perked up。 He was about to head inside for class； but he
lit another cigarette and stayed put so he could listen。
“Blair Waldorf’s mom had this lit