Vanessa were herself。 Had Vanessa gone off somewhere with Aaron？ Or Dan？ Had Serena and
Natereally eloped？ It was such a crazy day and such a crazy time in their lives； she wasn？t sure
what to believe。
？And now； I？m delighted to introduce Blair Waldorf； our senior class speaker；？ Mrs。 McLean
announced。 With a bob of her Raggedy Ann auburn head； she stepped away from the podium to
make way for Blair。 Blair stood up； smoothed out her swishy； pleated white satin Oscar de la
Renta skirt； and climbed daintily over the pointy white…shoe…clad feet of her classmates； growing
steadily more and more enraged as she overheard snatches of their whispers and mutterings。
？Serena is so totally not going to Yale next year。？
？Vanessa is in L。A。 Didn？t you hear？ She？s making a movie with Brad Pitt。？
Blair mounted the steps to the podium？a vision of perfection with her Oscar…tailored satin suit；
her smooth and shiny dark bob； her long…lashed bright blue eyes； her glittering coral…colored
mouth； and her exquisite white shoes。 She cleared her throat； trying to tear everyone？s attention
away from the subject of the two missing girls。
？Thank you；？ she began。 ？First； I？d like to congratulate my class。 We made it！？ she cried with
exaggerated glee。 But none of her fucking classmates were even looking at her。
Who cares？ Who cares？ Who cares？She was graduating today； she had an amazing new
boyfriend who just happened to be an English lord； and in the fall she was off to Yale。 That was all
that mattered； she told herself as she continued her speech。 And that she looked seriously hot in
her sleek Oscar de la Renta suit while all the other girls looked like Little Bo Beep in their frilly
white dresses。
？Now here we are； college…bound； and we？re all still friends；？ Blair declared determinedly。
Sure they are。
oh； the places you？ll go！？not
Daaah； dee…dee…dee； daaah； daaah ？
St。 Jude？s didn？t bother renting out a church or lining their boys up in size order。 They just held a
small； solemn ceremony in the school？s rooftop gym； wished the boys well； and then sent them on
their way。 The usually cavernous…looking gym seemed smaller now； filled as it was with folding
chairs； mothers in Chanel jackets and over…the…knee linen skirts； and dads in Brooks Brothers
summer…weight gray flannel suits。
Nate had been waiting for this day forever； and to mark the occasion； he and his buddies had
gotten good and high at Charlie？s house beforehand。 Then they？d put on their burgundy…colored
school ties and their navy blue wool school jackets with the dorky brass buttons that they？d never；
ever have to wear again； and walked over。
He glanced over his shoulder at his parents； seated stiffly across the aisle and six rows back。
Captain Archibald met his gaze and waved the graduation program angrily in front of him；
stabbing at the list of graduates with his index finger； his gray…blond eyebrows knitted together in
outrage。
Nate picked up the program where it had fallen between his Church？s of London tan suede
lace…ups and studied it to see if he could figure out what his dad？s problem was。 Forty…three boys？
names were printed neatly in navy blue in two concise columns。 The very first name on the list
had a tiny asterisk next to it； and at the very bottom of the program； next to a matching tiny
asterisk； was the note；Diploma pending 。 Nate squinted； wondering if his thoroughly baked brain
was playing tricks on him； but there it was again； an asterisk next to his name？Nathaniel
Fitzwilliam Archibald。 * Diploma pending。
Fuck！
Father Mark； the ancient former pastor who？d been the St。 Jude？s principal since at least 1947；
hunkered over the podium set up in the front of the gym； his hands shaking as he began to read out
the boys？ names。 Of course Nate was first。 ？Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald！？
Nate stood up and walked to the front of the gym； keeping his eyes on the black and blue lines
duct…taped to the floor for hoops and floor hockey。 ？Way to go； man；？ a bunch of guys whispered
sarcastically。 Nate？s neck burned with shame。 There was an asterisk next to his name。
Father Mark handed him a square navy blue faux leather folder and shook his hand just like he
was supposed to； without any acknowledgment of the asterisk。 Nate turned around and walked
back to his seat； nearly colliding with Coach Michaels； who was blocking the aisle in his frigging
red Lands？ End windbreaker。 He grabbed Nate？s shirtsleeve and lunged forward to whisper in his
ear。 ？I？ve got your number； boy；？ he wheezed； then patted Nate roughly on the shoulder before
letting him go。
？Aw。 Isn？t that sweet？？ somebody？s mother cooed； mistaking Coach？s threat for a
congratulatory embrace。
Nate returned to his seat； breathless and sweaty。 ？Anthony Arthur Avuldsen！？ the old principal
croaked； impatiently waving the blue folder containing Anthony？s diploma over his
white…peach…fuzz…covered head。
Anthony lumbered over Nate？s khaki…pants…clad knees with stoned concentration。 Nate clapped
his friend on his muscular back。 ？You made it；？ he murmured weakly as the now…familiar choky；
about…to…cry feeling welled up in his throat。
？Charles Cameron Dern！？ Father Mark croaked hoarsely。
？Dude；？ Charlie murmured to Nate as he stumbled by； ？what？s with the little star？？
Nate was too perplexed to cry。 He just sat there in stoned numbness； his father？s furious stare
burning holes in his back as his fellow classmates collected their diplomas。 The blue leather folder
lay closed on his lap。 He nudged it open with his thumb just a crack。 Just as he？d suspected： The
folder was empty。
Oh； boy。
Directly behind old Father Mark was the black metal door with the words
PHYSICALEDUCATIONDEPARTMENTstenciled on it in white。 Nate stared at the door； his
glittering green eyes blinking in consternation。 Did the asterisk have something to do with
Coach？s Viagra？
Finally； he？s catching on！
D could use a little more love
？So in conclusion； who needs college？at least； right now？ I？ve got my whole life to get educated。
Just like John Lennon of the Beatles once wrote； ？Love is all you need。 Love is all you need。 Love
is all you need。？？
Dan surveyed the audience as he finished his speech； standing behind the wooden podium at the
front of the stage。 Riverside Prep？s informal graduation ceremony was held in the school
auditorium and felt very much like one of the off…kilter plays the drama department put on twice a
year。 Behind him； Dan？s forty…one other classmates were seated on folding chairs； their mouths
hanging open in shocked surprise。 Even Larry； their desperate…to…be…down…with…the…boys senior
homeroom teacher； kept chuckling nervously and glancing down at the thirty rows of faculty；
parents； and relatives seated in the gray velvet movie…theater…style seats below them； as if he were
wondering if he should explain that Dan？s speech was just another one of those goofy senior
pranks he and his boyz were always pullin？。
In the last row of seats； Rufus？s head was bowed； his fuzzy salt…and…pepper hair tied with the
festive orange ribbon that had e tied around the neck of the bottle of Veuve Clicquot
champagne he？d bought for them to drink later。 Jenny was holding his hand。 She looked up；
meeting Dan？s gaze across the rows of heads with her soulful brown eyes。You asshole； how could
you do this to our sweet； well…meaning Dad？ her expression seemed to say。In case you didn？t
remember； education is everything to him。
Dan remained onstage to receive the E。 B。 White Writing Award； Riverside Prep？s award for
outstanding creative writing achievement。 ？Congratulations； son。？ Their lisping； tall； young；
Russian…figure…skater…handsome principal； Dr。 Nesbitt； handed him the rolled…up piece of
parchment paper and shook his hand while a photographer snapped pictures。 Dr。 Nesbitt was a
lower…school dad who？d been acting principal for a year and a half？ever since Mr。 Coobie； the
previous principal； had gotten ousted after attempting to teach human development to the fifth
graders himself instead of hiring a professional。
The applause was thin and sporadic as Dan accepted the award and returned to his seat。 It was
bound to be after a speech like that。Don？t listen to your teachers？ Let love be your teacher and
follow your heart？ Love is all you need； love is all you need； love is all you need？
Hello？？！
？And now for the diplomas；？ Dr。 Nesbitt announced； and the audience shifted eagerly in their
seats。
None of the boys？ last names began withA ； so Chuck Bass was first。 For the occasion； Chuck
had dressed entirely in cream…colored linen； including his shoes； which were made by Hogan and
even had cream…colored crepe soles。 With his sleek； dark hair and tanned handsome face； he
actually looked pretty sharp； like a Hollywood star from the 1940s。 Chuck tucked the
brown…leather…bound diploma case under his arm； pulled a Cuban cigar out of his jacket pocket；
and put it between his lips。
He was about to turn and walk offstage when Dr。 Nesbitt snatched the cigar out of his mouth；
wiped it on his trousers； and stuck it in his own mouth。 ？I？m going to need something to chew on
to get through all these names；？ he quipped into the microphone； and the audience of parents
responded with a roar of laughter。 Dr。 Nesbitt had been so popular since stepping in as principal；
he？d had to temporarily shut down his psychiatric practice because the school had yet to find a
new principal they liked nearly as much。
？Nice speech； dickhead；？ Chuck hissed as he lumbered over Dan？s feet on his way back to his
seat。 ？？Follow your heart？？ Does that mean we？re eloping to Vegas together after the ceremony？？
Dan resisted the urge to grind his Wallabees into Chuck？s nuts。 He hadn？t thought about how his
speech might sound to everyone else。 All he knew was that he？d written it from the heart； with one
person in mind： Vanessa。
？Nice work；？ Zeke Freedman sneered at Dan as he passed by on his way up to the stage。 Zeke
and Dan had been best buddies until Vanessa became Dan？s girlfriend and Dan sort of forgot
about everything and everybody else。 Zeke was kind of a puter geek and was extremely proud
of the fact that he was going to MIT in the fall； so it wasn？t a stretch to guess that Dan？s speech
had rubbed him the wrong way。
Dan glanced back at his family again。 Jenny had her arm around their dad now； and Rufus？s
shoulders were shaking with grief。 The other parents probably thought Rufus was weeping with
pride； but Dan knew better。 Maybe he should have given his dad some warning and told him about
not going to Evergreen next year。
Yeah； maybe。
？Daniel Jonah Humphrey；？ Dr。 Nesbitt called out。
Dan squirmed in his seat。 Hadn？t he used up enough front…of…stage time already？ He dashed out
of his third…row seat； grabbed the brown leather folder out of Dr。 Nesbitt？s hand； and dashed back
to his seat again； as if he were afraid his classmates were going to pelt him with raw tomatoes or
something。
Jenny had thought Dan？s graduation would be relatively painless and boring。 She ha