to spend next year and possibly the rest of his life with her。 As soon as they arrived at the party；
Jenny went right to the bar to score a glass of champagne； but Dan lingered by the door； his arms
full of red roses； transfixed by the sight of Vanessa looking resplendent in her sexy low…cut white
graduation dress and funky white wedge…heeled shoes。 There was a pink flush to her cheeks and a
sparkle to her dark brown eyes as she chatted with Serena van der Woodsen。 Serena was gorgeous
as usual； with her mane of pale blond hair cascading between her bare shoulder blades and her
endless legs； but the sight of her didn？t turn Dan on the way the sight of Vanessa did。
？Hey； hot stuff； get your ass over here！？ Vanessa shouted at him from across the room。 She？d
been drunk since one o？clock in the afternoon and the sight of Dan； his arms full of roses； was less
a turn…on than a revelation。 A drunken one。
This morning she？d almost driven off with the wrong boy。 It was Dan she loved。 How could she
not？with his scruffy looks； his painfully wrought poems； and the way he kept showing up
unexpectedly on her roof with his clothes off。
As Dan approached； she sort of oofed herself out of the Yale…blue…and…white striped wing…back
chair she was sitting in but then gave up and fell back into it again。 ？I？m trying to hug you；？ she
explained； laughing at herself。
She？s drunk； he realized。
Serena grabbed him and kissed him on the cheek； then pushed him into Vanessa？s lap。 ？You？re
always so cute；？ she cooed； ruffling Dan？s scraggly light brown hair as red roses fell out of his
arms and scattered around their feet。
Vanessa tickled him under the arms and he shrugged her needling fingers away； suddenly feeling
more like someone？s cute four…year…old brother than Vanessa？s stud…muffin boyfriend。
？So； the big news is Serena？s going to be a movie star； and I？m going to help make her cheesy
big…budget movie； because if we sell out； we？ll make selling out look cool；？ Vanessa told him with
drunken excitement。
Serena and Vanessa slapped each other five like old soccer teammates。 Then Serena refilled her
glass of Dom out of the magnum on the floor next to Vanessa？s chair and handed the overflowing
flute to Dan。 ？To Hollywood；？ she cried gleefully； waiting for Dan to chug it down。
Dan perched on Vanessa？s pale bare knee； trying not to spill his champagne。 He？d prepared a
Pablo Neruda love poem to recite； but maybe now wasn？t such a great time。
？Do you think I should tell them to turn the music up so we can dance？？ Serena burped loudly。
？Definitely。？ Vanessa bounced up and down on the chair cushion； causing Dan to tumble onto the
floor。 ？Dan will dance with us； won？t you； Dan？？
Dan clambered to his feet； eager for Serena to leave him alone with Vanessa。 ？Sure。？
Serena whirled away； a vision of yellow silk and golden hair。 The room was packed with people
and the air was thick with cigarette smoke and perfume。 Everyone had been celebrating since
morning； so it felt like fourA。M。 instead of tenP。M。 For old times？ sake； a group of girls from
Seaton Arms and Constance were playing Spin the Bottle with a group of boys from Riverside。
？Me first！？ Chuck Bass crowed； kneeling down to give the empty Stoli bottle an energetic spin。
Typical。
？Dad got pretty mad at me today；？ Dan confessed。 He perched on the arm of Vanessa？s chair；
suddenly so nervous； he couldn？t drink his champagne。 She wasn？t looking at him； but he hoped
she was listening。 ？I guess I should？ve told him before I made my speech。？
Vanessa was watching Serena as she flirted with Jarvis Cocker？the crazy cool British DJ wearing
a black top hat at his station across the room。 She had to admire how pletely shameless Serena
was。 She？d do anything as long as it wasn？t too illegal or humiliating； just because it amused her。
The thing Vanessa most admired； though； was that Serena wasn？t conceited？she was justSerena 。
And she didn？t seem to need anyone else to be Serena。 She was just fine being herself。
？See； I kind of changed my mind about going to Evergreen；？ Dan continued。 ？At least； not right
away。？
Vanessa could feel Dan staring at her and she realized he was trying to tell her something
important and that she？d missed half of it。 ？Wait。 What？？
Dan slid off the arm of the chair and knelt down on the burnished amber wood floor； grasping her
hands in his。？I do not love you except because I love you；？ he recited。
Vanessa was glad the room was so crowded； otherwise she might have been a little embarrassed。
？I can？t imagine not sharing the air you breathe； living all those miles away；？ Dan told her
earnestly； in his own words this time。 ？Like I said in my speech； I can go to college any time； but
I？m in love with you now。 And the only thing I want； my only requirement； is to be with you。？
Vanessa？s face turned hot and prickly。 Yes； she loved him； but did he have to be so darned
dramatic？ ？So you？re ？？ Her voice trailed off uncertainly。
？Staying here；？ Dan filled in； gazing up at her with adoring brown eyes。 ？With you。？
All of a sudden that new OutKast song that no one could listen to without jumping to their feet
and wiggling their ass came blasting out of the speakers ten decibels louder than the smooth R&B
that had been playing before。 Serena bounded over； grabbed Vanessa？s hand； and pulled her out of
the chair。 ？e on； groovy girl；？ she coaxed。 ？Show me what you got。？
Vanessa had always loathed dancing； at least in public； but she needed to get away from Dan
right now； and all his intensity。 Serena bumped hips with her and Vanessa laughed and bumped her
back。 She could feel Dan watching them intently； but she didn？t turn around。 The music was good；
and she felt vibrant and beautiful in her slippery； shimmering white Morgane Le Fay dress。 Dan
must have been crazy to think not going to college next year was a good idea。 Of course he was
going； but they could spend the summer together working it out。 The music grew louder still； and
Vanessa raised her bare arms in the air； grooving to it。 Dan was pletely nuts； but so was she
for ever having said she didn？t dance。
N？s trail of tears
Nate sat on the edge of one of the Yale Club lounge？s oriental carpets； pretending to watch the
Spin the Bottle game。 That French hippie chick； Lexie； who？d followed him around for a few
weeks claiming to be madly in love with him； and her other L？？cole friends were sitting in a tight
circle only a few feet away； all wearing crocheted halter tops with their skinny bellies showing；
smoking Gauloises like fiends。 He hoped she wouldn？t notice him。
Too late。
？Nate？？ Lexie sat up on her haunches； her scrawny； tan tummy bulging in a way she must have
thought was irresistible。 She？d gotten a navel piercing； and it was still pink and new。
Ew。
She stretched her long bare arms overhead； giving the rest of the room a fine view of the sun；
moon； and stars tattoo on her right shoulder blade。
Ooh la la。
Nate smiled； pretending to have only just noticed her。 ？Hey； Lexie。？ He waved cautiously and
then hugged his knees to show that he had no intention of joining her。
Lexie rolled her dark brown eyes and flipped her long raven…colored ponytail over one
shoulder。 ？Bastard；？ she retorted with a heavy French accent and a very French…looking
scowl。 ？You broke my heart。？
Something exciting had just happened in the Spin the Bottle game； and everyone whooped and
clapped。 Nate began to clap； too？anything to avoid a confrontation with Lexie。
Serena and that weird shaven…headed girl from Constance who Blair was supposedly living with
and reportedly having a lesbian affair with were dancing like disco diva freaks in the middle of the
room； looking drunk and ecstatic？the way you were supposed to look the day you graduated from
high school。
If； that is； you actually obtained your diploma that day； unlike a certain person we know。
Nate had a sudden flash of d？j？ vu； or maybe it was ennui。 At any rate； it was something sad that
sounded French。 He remembered being drunk at a random party at that guy Dan Humphrey？s
house over on the West Side back in ninth or tenth grade and letting Blair and Serena draw a face
on his bare stomach with a black indelible marker。 They？d named the face Buck Naked； and each
girl had kissed Buck repeatedly over the course of the evening； even after Nate passed out。
Those were the days。
Suddenly Nate became filled with dread。 What if he？d already had all the fun he was ever going
to have？ What if it was all downhill from here？
And what if he？d gotten more and more stupid with each year of high school instead of smarter？
That can happen when you remain stoned most of your life。
Tears began to ooze slowly down his golden cheeks。 Everybody else at the party seemed so
happy and so excited about their future； but he wasn？t really sure what he had to look forward to
anymore。
J considers losing it before boarding school
Parties had always seemed intimidating to Jenny？especially parties where the majority of the
girls were normal…chested and taller； prettier； and more confident than she was。 But now that she
was into boarding school； Jenny felt like the possibilities？at least； the possibilities forher ？were
multitudinous。 She didn？t have to be tiny little Jenny Humphrey； the curly…haired artistic girl with
the knobby knees and gigantic boobs。 Next year at Waverly she could be Jennifer Humphrey； the
outrageously confident boy magnet； coolest girl in the sophomore class； or maybe even the whole
school。
Maybe。
And if she was going to change her image； it seemed prudent that she do something drastic； like
lose her virginity。
Whoa。
She？d been watching Nate Archibald for a while now。 He seemed different than when he？d
broken her heart on New Year？s Eve。 He was crying； for one thing； and his shoulders were
slumped； like he？d gotten some bad news and hadn？t been able to shake it。 Even the glitter
seemed to have left his emerald green eyes。 She could hardly resist the urge to give him a hug。
？Hi； Nate；？ she squeaked； boldly touching him on the shoulder。 ？Remember me？？
With that chest？ Even the stonedest boy could hardly forget。
Nate scrubbed his hands over his blotchy face and attempted a smile。 ？Howdy； Jennifer；？ he
greeted her； with the sort of tired cheerfulness of someone who？s had kind of a rough day and
doesn？t much feel like talking。
？So you？re all done with school and everything？？ Jenny persisted。 She was acutely aware that
from his angle Nate was looking up at the shelflike undersides of her gigantic breasts； which were
stuffed into a stretchy black Anthropologie halter top with a built…in Lycra bra。 He probably
couldn？t even see her face。 She squatted down beside him； teetering slightly on her baby blue
BCBG kitten…heel slides。 ？I？m going to boarding school at Waverly Prep next year；？ she blurted
out。 ？I totally can？t wait！？
Nate was sort of surprised that Jennifer wanted to talk to him at all； but he was grateful because it
meant he didn？t have to avoid talking to Lexie anymore