whether she could go there or not？
？Are you a teacher here or ？？？ she asked politely。
Mr。 Tortia squatted down and held his palm out to April； who handed him a piece of Dentyne。 He
stood up again。 ？As a matter of fact； I？m the headmaster；？ he replied flatly。 He pulled on his
mustache and offered her his first smile。 ？Discretion lesson number one： Let？s not mention this
little incident to anyone。 Got it？？
Jenny nodded mutely。
Mr。 Tortia held up both hands and waved with his palms facing backwards； like the Queen of
England。 ？Arrivederci； little prospective girl！？ he chimed； dismissing her。
Harry reached up and patted Jenny on the bottom。 ？Drive safely；？ he told her affectionately； even
though she was obviously not old enough to drive。
Arrivederci； fuckups！
Her whole body trembling with outrage； Jenny hurried down the path through the woods；
wishing with all her heart there was a subway stop right there by the duck pond。 She could swipe
her MetroCard and catch the 3 train down to Ninety…sixth Street and Broadway； and be home in
time forAmerican Idol 。 The green…headed mallard quacked at her mockingly as she hurried
by。 ？Cr？me de la cr？me！ Cr？me de la cr？me！ Cr？me de la cr？me！？ he seemed to be saying。
Jenny whipped out her cell phone and dialed information。 ？Taxi。 In Croton Falls； New York；？ she
instructed。
？We have no listings for Taxi；？ the operator responded blandly。 ？I？ll check Limousines。？
？Fine。？ Jenny typed the number for the Village of Croton？s only limousine service into her cell
phone。 With the money her father had given her bined with the money already in her wallet；
she could probably get the driver to take her all the way home。
Who said she wasn？t the cr？me de la cr？me？
V experiments with double happiness
When Aaron came home from band practice Vanessa was standing in front of the bathroom sink；
contemplating her hair？or lack thereof？in the round； toothpaste…spattered mirror； still wet from her
shower。 She？d ridded herself of Dan？s musty smell and was horrified to discover that she sort of
enjoyed the fact that Aaron had absolutely no clue。
When she？s bad； she？sbad 。
？Nice towel；？ Aaron observed； planting a kiss on the nape of her neck。
？Thanks。？ Vanessa batted her eyes and placed her hands on her hips； modeling the
lavender…and…black chintz floral bath towel； one of the many Blair had purchased for the
apartment during her short but sweet stay。
Aaron wrapped his arms around Vanessa？s waist。 ？Did you get my present？？
He looked cute in an orange T…shirt and baggy green army shorts； and he smelled like hay from
the herbal cigarettes he was always smoking。
？Blair moved out；？ Vanessa told him evenly； ignoring his question about the cheesy
love/friendship ring he？d left on the kitchen counter that morning。 ？She couldn？t stand living so
far away from Barneys in a walk…up with graffiti on the door。？
？Well； can you blame her？？ Aaron smiled at their reflection in the mirror？two dark shaved heads；
two pairs of brown eyes； two pairs of thin red lips。 ？Did you get my e…mail？？
We could almost be twins；Vanessa thought； creeping herself out。 She was suddenly reminded of
those freaky old V。C。 Andrews books she？d read when she was twelve； about a brother and sister
who were locked together in an attic and eventually gave birth to twins。 ？Blair wants to be our
senior speaker。 If I miss graduation； she？ll kill me。？
Aaron rolled his eyes； flipped the cracked white toilet seat lid down； and sat down on it。 He
sighed。 ？I don？t know how she does it。？
？What do you mean？？ Vanessa couldn？t help observing that this little bathroom chat was the
longest they？d ever talked without forgetting what they were talking about and ripping each
other？s clothes off。
？You？re like the most righteous person I know； but she even manages to get you to do her
bidding。？ Aaron explained； rubbing the back of his neck where the supershort shaved bits were
growing in。
？It？s not like that。 We？re friends。 Anyway；？ Vanessa quickly changed the subject。 ？I think driving
across the country and camping out and stuff sounds ？ cool。？ She put her hands in her pockets；
hoping that Aaron would forget all about the ring。 ？I mean； as long as there？s； like； a bathroom
and a shower we can use。？
Sounds like she doesn？t quite know the meaning of ？camping out。？
？Really？？ Aaron stood up； grinning as he turned her around to face him。 ？So； are you； like；
pletely naked underneath that towel？？ he asked； kissing her neck and shoulders。
Vanessa knew she ought to have been overwhelmed by her outrageous deception。 Dan had left
only an hour ago。 Now here she was with Aaron； her real boyfriend； pretending it was perfectly
natural to be taking a shower in the late afternoon； when she normally only took one in the
morning。 Maybe she was just losing her mind； but somehow it made being with Aaronand Dan all
the more exciting。
Aaron turned on the shower and pulled his shirt off over his head。 ？I say we both need to get
really； really clean。？ He tugged on Vanessa？s towel。 ？e on； I？ll wash your hair for you。？
The towel fell to the floor and Vanessa laughed out loud； amazed at how unguilty she felt。 The
truth was； in the very near future she wouldn？t be seeing much of these boys at all； so why not
enjoy them now； while they were standing right in front of her？naked？
After their steaming hot shower； Aaron busied himself cooking wheat gluten chicken nuggets
with sweet potato fries； while Vanessa edited her final film project； a series of interviews with
seniors from Constance and other private schools that she？d filmed over the course of the past few
months。
Some of the interviews were funny and insightful； but some of them could be interpreted in kind
of a bad way if you didn？t know the people。 She decided to start with Blair？s interview。 Blair
looked totally awesome sitting in front of Bethesda Fountain in Central Park wearing a black polo
shirt and her jade…and…Swarovski…crystal chandelier earrings。 A group of shirtless boys were
playing Frisbee in the background； girls in bikinis sprawled at their feet。
？For me it？s not just about having sex； though。 It？s about my whole future。 Yale and Nate： the
two things I？ve always wanted ？？ Blair declared； sounding unusually psychotic。 ？And if I don？t
get in ？ someone is going to fucking pay。 This is； like； my one chance to be happy； and I think I
deserve it； you know？？
Well； hello； crazy bitch。
Vanessa winced。 Of course it was good film； but considering how things had turned out with
Nate； it would hurt Blair？s feelings too much to use it。
Aaron came out of the kitchen to peer over her shoulder at the little screen on her digital video
camera； a carrot stick in his mouth。 ？When？s my part？？
Vanessa fast…forwarded until she got to Aaron？s interview； taken late one night in her
bedroom？which explained why he was wearing only a lavender…and…celery…green striped sheet。
The interview had been done before he cut his hair； and brown mini dreadlocks stuck out in all
directions from his head。
？I？ve been feeling really； really good about myself since I heard from Harvard；？ the practically
naked； dreadlocked Aaron told the camera。 ？I mean； I used to be this skinny kid with braces and
frizzy hair； and now I？m； like； theking 。 It totally rocks！？
Good for you； dude。 Good for you。
Behind them； the timer on the oven went off。 ？I sound like an asshole；？ Aaron observed casually
as he headed back into the kitchen。 ？But you can use it。 I don？t mind。？
Vanessa went back to Blair？s segment； watching it over and over and trying to edit it in such a
way that Blair wouldn？t sound totally demonic。 Maybe Blair didn？t have Nate anymore； but she
had gotten into Yale in the end。 As she scrolled over and over through the footage in her film；
listening to her classmates？ and peers？ hilariously self…absorbed statements and sad truths； she
grew more and more reticent about missing graduation。 Not that she was actually into group hugs
or white dresses； but it seemed kind ofwrong to miss out on the one day she？d been waiting for
since she started at Constance Billard in ninth grade。
Like hooking up with two guys on the same daywasn？t wrong？
Professor Pierre Papadametriou
English Dept。； The Evergreen State College
2700 Evergreen Parkway NW
Olympia； WA 98505
Daniel Humphrey
815 West End Avenue； Apt。 8D
New York； NY 10024
Dear Daniel Humphrey；
I was so excited with hiring you for my summer assistant； I forgot to tell you the subject of my
book： sex poems。 I mean； poems that are about making sex through the ages； which is interesting
to me because I teach poetry and biology； and I am Greek！ The book has no title yet but maybe
you will help me think of a good one！ I also did not explain that you will live in my small home
with my two dogs； Plato and Plato Jr。； and my son； Mick； because Evergreen does not allow
students to move in until orientation in end of August。 Hammock in attic is fixed； so e！ We
will make a good time with Micky？s homemade ouzo！
Sincerely；
Pierre
D chooses real sex over sex poems
Dan sat in the back of AP English class； his hands trembling as he reread the letter。 Professor
Papadametriou sounded like a nice man； and he？d probably make a good advisor。 Dan could
totally picture enjoying a few glasses of wine in the professor？s home while he talked about the
fall of Troy and his son stuffed grape leaves or whatever。 The thing was； Dan didn？t want to go to
Evergreen at all anymore。
？Dan； could you enlighten us as to who the narrator is in this poem？？ Ms。 Solomon asked。 She
was wearing a tight black lace mini tank dress； her nearly translucent； thin； spidery arms and bony
legs poking out of it； making her look like a cartoon witch in a Halloween TV special。 She wound
a strand of mousy dark blond hair around her index finger； a gesture she probably thought was
irresistible to Dan。 Ms。 Solomon had a serious crush on him； and whenever she suspected he
wasn？t paying attention in class； she stomped her feet like a petulant child and asked him a
question； demanding his attention。
He wasn？t even sure which poem she was talking about； although he knew it was Robert Frost；
and he？d memorized most of Frost。
？It？s either the guy or the horse；？ Dan answered mechanically without even looking up。
？Thanks； Stormfield；？ Ms。 Solomon cracked sarcastically。
？Even I could do better than that；？ Chuck Bass jeered from the front of the room； where he？d
decided to sit every day up until the final exam； in his last…ditch effort to get better than a D in
English。 Chuck was wearing orange…and…white plaid Bermuda shorts； a white polo shirt； white
patent leather shoes； and a matching white patent leather belt。 It was the sort of outfit a Park
Avenue mom would dress her three…year…old son in for church； only Chuck had chosen the outfit
himself。 Sweetie sat in Chuck？s lap； wearing a tiny rhinestone tiara。
Dan shrugged。 He was beyond Chuck？s nasty wisecracks； and beyond Ms。 Solomon？s insolent
crush。 Way beyon