“I am afraid you are disappointed in me； Bessie。” I said this laughing： I perceived that Bessie’s glance； though it expressed regard； did in no shape denote admiration。
“No； Miss Jane； not exactly： you are genteel enough； you look like a lady； and it is as much as ever I expected of you： you were no beauty as a child。”
I smiled at Bessie’s frank answer： I felt that it was correct； but I confess I was not quite indifferent to its import： at eighteen most people wish to please； and the conviction that they have not an exterior likely to second that desire brings anything but gratification。
“I dare say you are clever； though；” continued Bessie； by way of solace。 “What can you do？ Can you play on the piano？”
“A little。”
There was one in the room； Bessie went and opened it； and then asked me to sit down and give her a tune： I played a waltz or two； and she was charmed。
“The Miss Reeds could not play as well！” said she exultingly。 “I always said you would surpass them in learning： and can you draw？”
“That is one of my paintings over the chimney…piece。” It was a landscape in water colours； of which I had made a present to the superintendent； in acknowledgment of her obliging mediation with the mittee on my behalf； and which she had framed and glazed。
“Well； that is beautiful； Miss Jane！ It is as fine a picture as any Miss Reed’s drawing…master could paint； let alone the young ladies themselves； who could not e near it： and have you learnt French？”
“Yes； Bessie； I can both read it and speak it。”
“And you can work on muslin and canvas？”
“I can。”
“Oh； you are quite a lady； Miss Jane！ I knew you would be： you will get on whether your relations notice you or not。 There was something I wanted to ask you。 Have you ever heard anything from your father’s kinsfolk； the Eyres？”
“Never in my life。”
“Well； you know Missis always said they were poor and quite despicable： and they may be poor； but I believe they are as much gentry as the Reeds are； for one day； nearly seven years ago； a Mr。 Eyre came to Gateshead and wanted to see you； Missis said you were it school fifty miles off； he seemed so much disappointed； for he could not stay： he was going on a voyage to a foreign country； and the ship was to sail from London in a day or tan； and I believe he was your father’s brother。”
“What foreign country was he going to； Bessie？”
“An island thousands of miles off； where they make wine—the butler did tell me—”
“Madeira？” I suggested。
“Yes； that is it—that is the very word。”
“So he went？”
“Yes； he did not stay many minutes in the house： Missis was very high with him； she called him afterwards a ‘sneaking tradesman。’ My Robert believes he was a wine…merchant。”
“Very likely；” I returned； “or perhaps clerk or agent to a wine… merchant。”
Bessie and I conversed about old times an hour longer； and then she was obliged to leave me： I saw her again for a few minutes the next morning at Lowton； while I was waiting for the coach。 We parted finally at the door of the Brocklehurst Arms there： each went her separate way； she set off for the brow of Lowood Fell to meet the conveyance which was to take her back to Gateshead； I mounted the vehicle which was to bear me to new duties and a new life in the unknown environs of Millcote。
Chapter 11
A new chapter in a novel is something like a new scene in a play； and when I draw up the curtain this time； reader； you must fancy you see a room in the George Inn at Millcote； with such large figured papering on the walls as inn rooms have； such a carpet； such furniture； such ornaments on the mantelpiece； such prints； including a portrait of George the Third； and another of the Prince of Wales； and a representation of the death of Wolfe。 All this is visible to you by the light of an oil lamp hanging from the ceiling； and by that of an excellent fire； near which I sit in my cloak and bon； my muff and umbrella lie on the table； and I am warming away the numbness and chill contracted by sixteen hours’ exposure to the rawness of an October day： I left Lowton at four o’clock a。m。； and the Millcote town clock is now just striking eight。
Reader； though I look fortably acmodated； I am not very tranquil in my mind。 I thought when the coach stopped here there would be some one to meet me； I looked anxiously round as I descended the wooden steps the “boots” placed for my convenience； expecting to hear my name pronounced； and to see some description of carriage waiting to convey me to Thornfield。 Nothing of the sort was visible； and when I asked a waiter if any one had been to inquire after a Miss Eyre； I was answered in the negative： so I had no resource but to request to be shown into a private room： and here I am waiting； while all sorts of doubts and fears are troubling my thoughts。
It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself quite alone in the world； cut adrift from every connection； uncertain whether the port to which it is bound can be reached； and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted。 The charm of adventure sweetens that sensation； the glow of pride warms it； but then the throb of fear disturbs it； and fear with me became predominant when half…an…hour elapsed and still I was alone。 I bethought myself to ring the bell。
“Is there a place in this neighbourhood called Thornfield？” I asked of the waiter who answered the summons。
“Thornfield？ I don’t know； ma’am； I’ll inquire at the bar。” He vanished； but reappeared instantly—
“Is your name Eyre； Miss？”
“Yes。”
“Person here waiting for you。”
I jumped up； took my muff and umbrella； and hastened into the inn… passage： a man was standing by the open door； and in the lamp…lit street I dimly saw a one…horse conveyance。
“This will be your luggage； I suppose？” said the man rather abruptly when he saw me； pointing to my trunk in the passage。
“Yes。” He hoisted it on to the vehicle； which was a sort of car； and then I got in； before he shut me up； I asked him how far it was to Thornfield。
“A matter of six miles。”
“How long shall we be before we get there？”
“Happen an hour and a half。”
He fastened the car door； climbed to his own seat outside； and we set off。 Our progress was leisurely； and gave me ample time to reflect； I was content to be at length so near the end of my journey； and as I leaned back in the fortable though not elegant conveyance； I meditated much at my ease。
“I suppose；” thought I； “judging from the plainness of the servant and carriage； Mrs。 Fairfax is not a very dashing person： so much the better； I never lived amongst fine people but once； and I was very miserable with them。 I wonder if she lives alone except this little girl； if so； and if she is in any degree amiable； I shall surely be able to get on with her； I will do my best； it is a pity that doing one’s best does not always answer。 At Lowood； indeed； I took that resolution； kept it； and succeeded in pleasing； but with Mrs。 Reed； I remember my best was always spurned with scorn。 I pray God Mrs。 Fairfax may not turn out a second Mrs。 Reed； but if she does； I am not bound to stay with her！ let the worst e to the worst； I can advertise again。 How far are we on our road now； I wonder？”
I let down the window and looked out； Millcote was behind us； judging by the number of its lights； it seemed a place of considerable magnitude； much larger than Lowton。 We were now； as far as I could see； on a sort of mon； but there were houses scattered all over the district； I felt we were in a different region to Lowood； more populous； less picturesque； more stirring； less romantic。
The roads were heavy； the night misty； my conductor let his horse walk all the way； and the hour and a half extended； I verify believe； to two hours； at last he turned in his seat and said—
“You’re noan so far fro’ Thornfield now。”
Again I looked out： we were passing a church； I saw its low broad tower against the sky； and its bell was tolling a quarter； I saw a narrow galaxy of lights too； on a hillside； marking a village or hamlet。 About ten minutes after； the driver got down and opened a pair of gates： we passed through； and they clashed to behind us。 We now slowly ascended a drive； and came upon the long front of a house： candlelight gleamed from one curtained bow…window； all the rest were dark。 The car stopped at the front door； it was opened by a maid…servant； I alighted and went in。
“Will you walk this way； ma’am？” said the girl； and I followed her across a square hall with high doors all round： she ushered me into a room whose double illumination of fire and candle at first dazzled me； contrasting as it did with the darkness to which my eyes had been for two hours inured； when I could see； however； a cosy and agreeable picture presented itself to my view。
A snug small room； a round table by a cheerful fire； an arm…chair high…backed and old…fashioned； wherein sat the neatest imaginable little elderly lady； in widow’s cap； black silk gown； and snowy muslin apron； exactly like what I had fancied Mrs。 Fairfax； only less stately and milder looking。 She was occupied in knitting； a large cat sat demurely at her feet； nothing in short was wanting to plete the beau…ideal of domestic fort。 A more reassuring introduction for a new governess could scarcely be conceived； there was no grandeur to overwhelm； no stateliness to embarrass； and then； as I entered； the old lady got up and promptly and kindly came forward to meet me。
“How do you do； my dear？ I am afraid you have had a tedious ride； John drives so slowly； you must be cold； e to the fire。”
“Mrs。 Fairfax； I suppose？” said I。
“Yes； you are right： do sit down。”
She conducted me to her own chair； and then began to remove my shawl and untie my bon…strings； I begged she would not give herself so much trouble。
“Oh； it is no trouble； I dare say your own hands are almost numbed with cold。 Leah； make a little hot negus and cut a sandwich or two： here are the keys of the storeroom。”
And she produced from her pocket a most housewifely bunch of keys； and delivered them to the servant。
“Now； then； draw nearer to the fire；” she continued。 “You’ve brought your luggage with you； haven’t you； my dear？”
“Yes； ma’am。”
“I’ll see it carried into your room；” she said； and bustled out。
“She treats me like a visitor；” thought I。 “I little expected such a reception； I anticipated only coldness and stiffness： this is not like what I have heard of the treatment of governesses； but I must not exult too soon。”
She returned； with her own hands cleared her knitting apparatus and a book or two from the table； to make room for the tray which Leah now brought； and then herself handed me the refreshments。 I felt rather confused at being the object of more attention than I had ever before received； and； that too； shown by my employer and superior； but as she did not herself seem to consider she was doing anything out of her place； I thought it better to take her civilities quietly。
“Shall I have the pleasure of seeing Miss Fairfax to…night？” I asked； when I had partaken of what she offered me。
“What did you say； my dear？ I am a little deaf；” returned the good lady； approaching her ear to my mouth。
I repeated the question more distin