Of course the intellectual assumption which makes his system untenable by the thinker of our time is： that we possess a knowledge of the absolute。 Noble is the belief that by exercise of his reason a man may enter into munion with that Rational Essence which is the soul of the world； but precisely because of our inability to find within ourselves any such sure and certain guidance do we of to…day accept the barren doom of scepticism。 Otherwise； the Stoic's sense of man's subordination in the universal scheme； and of the all…ruling destiny； brings him into touch with our own philosophical views； and his doctrine concerning the 〃sociable〃 nature of man； of the reciprocal obligations which exist between all who live； are entirely congenial to the better spirit of our day。 His fatalism is not mere resignation； one has not only to accept one's lot； whatever it is； as inevitable； but to accept it with joy； with praises。 Why are we here？ For the same reason that has brought about the existence of a horse； or of a vine； to play the part allotted to us by Nature。 As it is within our power to understand the order of things； so are we capable of guiding ourselves in accordance therewith； the will； powerless over circumstance； is free to determine the habits of the soul。 The first duty is self…discipline； its correspondent first privilege is an inborn knowledge of the law of life。
But we are fronted by that persistent questioner who will accept no a priori assumption； however noble in its character and beneficent in its tendency。 How do we know that the reason of the Stoic is at harmony with the world's law？ I； perhaps； may see life from a very different point of view； to me reason may dictate； not self…subdual； but self…indulgence； I may find in the free exercise of all my passions an existence far more consonant with what seems to me the dictate of Nature。 I am proud； Nature has made me so； let my pride assert itself to justification。 I am strong； let me put forth my strength； it is the destiny of the feeble to fall before me。 On the other hand； I am weak and I suffer； what avails a mere assertion that fate is just； to bring about my calm and glad acceptance of this down…trodden doom？ Nay； for there is that within my soul which bids me revolt； and cry against the iniquity of some power I know not。 Granting that I am pelled to acknowledge a scheme of things which constrains me to this or that； whether I will or no； how can I be sure that wisdom or moral duty lies in acquiescence？ Thus the unceasing questioner； to whom； indeed； there is no reply。 For our philosophy sees no longer a supreme sanction； and no longer hears a harmony of the universe。
〃He that is unjust is also impious。 For the Nature of the Universe； having made all reasonable creatures one for another； to the end that they should do one another good； more or less； according to the several persons and occasions； but in no wise hurt one another； it is manifest that he that doth transgress against this her will； is guilty of impiety towards the most ancient and venerable of all the Deities。〃 How gladly would I believe this！ That injustice is impiety； and indeed the supreme impiety； I will hold with my last breath； but it were the merest affectation of a noble sentiment if I supported my faith by such a reasoning。 I see no single piece of strong testimony that justice is the law of the universe； I see suggestions incalculable tending to prove that it is not。 Rather must I apprehend that man； in some inconceivable way； may at his best moments represent a Principle darkly at strife with that which prevails throughout the world as known to us。 If the just man be in truth a worshipper of the most ancient of Deities； he must needs suppose； either that the object of his worship belongs to a fallen dynasty； or……what from of old has been his refuge……that the sacred fire which burns within him is an 〃evidence of things not seen。〃 What if I am incapable of either supposition？ There remains the dignity of a hopeless cause……〃sed victa Catoni。〃 But how can there sound the hymn of praise？
〃That is best for everyone； which the mon Nature of all doth send unto everyone； and then is it best； when she doth send it。〃 The optimism of Necessity； and perhaps； the highest wisdom man can attain unto。 〃Remember that unto reasonable creatures only is it granted that they may willingly and freely submit。〃 No one could be more sensible than I of the persuasiveness of this high theme。 The words sing to me； and life is illumined with soft glory； like that of the autumn sunset yonder。 〃Consider how man's life is but for a very moment of time； and so depart meek and contented： even as if a ripe olive falling should praise the ground that bare her； and give thanks to the tree that begat her。〃 So would I fain think； when the moment es。 It is the mood of strenuous endeavour； but also the mood of rest。 Better than the calm of achieved indifference （if that； indeed； is possible to man）； better than the ecstasy which contemns the travail of earth in contemplation of bliss to e。 But； by no effort attainable。 An influence of the unknown powers； a peace that falleth upon the soul like dew at evening。
XIV
I have had one of my savage headaches。 For a day and a night I was in blind torment。 Have at it； now； with the stoic remedy。 Sickness of the body is no evil。 With a little resolution and considering it as a natural issue of certain natural processes； pain may well be borne。 One's solace is； to remember that it cannot affect the soul； which partakes of the eternal nature。 This body is but as 〃the clothing； or the cottage； of the mind。〃 Let flesh be racked； I； the very I； will stand apart； lord of myself。
Meanwhile； memory； reason； every faculty of my intellectual part； is being whelmed in muddy oblivion。 Is the soul something other than the mind？ If so； I have lost all consciousness of its existence。 For me； mind and soul are one； and； as I am too feelingly reminded； that element of my being is HERE； where the brain throbs and anguishes。 A little more of such suffering； and I were myself no longer； the body representing me would gesticulate and rave； but I should know nothing of its motives； its fantasies。 The very I； it is too plain； consists but with a certain balance of my physical elements； which we call health。 Even in the light beginnings of my headache； I was already not myself； my thoughts followed no normal course； and I was aware of the abnormality。 A few hours later； I was but a walking disease； my mind……if one could use the word……had bee a barrel…organ； grinding in endless repetition a bar or two of idle music。
What trust shall I repose in the soul that serves me thus？ Just as much； one would say； as in the senses； through which I know all that I can know of the world in which I live； and which； for all I can tell； may deceive me even more grossly in their mon use than they do on certain occasions where I have power to test them； just as much； and no more……if I am right in concluding that mind and soul are merely subtle functions of body。 If I chance to bee deranged in certain parts of my physical mechanism； I shall straightway be deranged in my wits； and behold that Something in me which 〃partakes of the eternal〃 prompting me to pranks which savour little of the infinite wisdom。 Even in its normal condition （if I can determine what that is） my mind is obviously the slave of trivial accidents； I eat something that disagrees with me； and of a sudden the whole aspect of life is changed； this impulse has lost its force； and another which before I should not for a moment have entertained； is all…powerful over me。 In short； I know just as little about myself as I do about the Eternal Essence； and I have a haunting suspicion that I may be a mere automaton； my every thought and act due to some power which uses and deceives me。
Why am I meditating thus； instead of enjoying the life of the natural man； at peace with himself and the world； as I was a day or two ago？ Merely； it is evident； because my health has suffered a temporary disorder。 It has passed； I have thought enough about the unthinkable； I feel my quiet returning。 Is it any merit of mine that I begin to be in health once more？ Could I； by any effort of the will； have shunned this pitfall？
XV
Blackberries hanging thick upon the hedge bring to my memory something of long ago。 I had somehow escaped into the country； and on a long walk began to feel mid…day hunger。 The wayside brambles were fruiting； I picked and ate； and ate on； until I had e within sight of an inn where I might have made a meal。 But my hunger was satisfied； I had no need of anything more； and； as I thought of it； a strange feeling of surprise； a sort of bewilderment； came upon me。 What！ Could it be that I had eaten； and eaten sufficiently； WITHOUT PAYING？ It struck me as an extraordinary thing。 At that time； my ceaseless preoccupation was how to obtain money to keep myself alive。 Many a day I had suffered hunger because I durst not spend the few coins I possessed； the food I could buy was in any case unsatisfactory； unvaried。 But here Nature had given me a feast； which seemed delicious； and I had eaten all I wanted。 The wonder held me for a long time； and to this day I can recall it； understand it。
I think there could be no better illustration of what it means to be very poor in a great town。 And I am glad to have been through it。 To those days of misery I owe much of the contentment which I now enjoy； not by mere force of contrast； but because I have been better taught than most men the facts which condition our day to day existence。 To the ordinary educated person； freedom from anxiety as to how he shall merely be fed and clothed is a matter of course； questioned； he would admit it to be an agreeable state of things； but it is no more a source of conscious joy to him than physical health to the thoroughly sound man。 For me； were I to live another fifty years； this security would be a delightful surprise renewed with every renewal of day。 I know； as only one with my experience can； all that is involved in the possession of means to live。 The average educated man has never stood alone； utterly alone； just clad and nothing more than that； with the problem before him of wresting his next meal from a world that cares not whether he live or die。 There is no such school of political economy。 Go through that course of lectures； and you will never again bee confused as to the meaning of elementary terms in that sorry science。
I understand； far better than most men； what I owe to the labour of others。 This money which I 〃draw〃 at the four quarters of the year； in a sense falls to me from heaven； but I know very well that every drachm is sweated from human pores。 Not； thank goodness； with the declared tyranny of basest capitalism； I mean only that it is the product of human labour； perhaps wholesome； but none the less pulsory。 Look far enough； and it means muscular toil； that swinking of the ruder man which supports all the plex structure of our life。 When I think of him thus； the man of the people earns my gratitude。 That it is gratitude from afar； that I never was； and never shall be； capable of democratic fervour； is a characteristic of my mind which I long ago accepted as final。 I have known revolt agains