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XII
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An¡¡tacitum¡¡silvas¡¡inter¡¡reptare¡¡salubres£»¡¡Curantem¡¡quidquid¡¡dignum¡¡sapiente¡¡bonoque¡¡est£¿
So¡¡with¡¡many¡¡another¡¡book¡¡on¡¡the¡¡thronged¡¡shelves¡£¡¡To¡¡take¡¡them¡¡down¡¡is¡¡to¡¡recall£»¡¡how¡¡vividly£»¡¡a¡¡struggle¡¡and¡¡a¡¡triumph¡£¡¡In¡¡those¡¡days¡¡money¡¡represented¡¡nothing¡¡to¡¡me£»¡¡nothing¡¡I¡¡cared¡¡to¡¡think¡¡about£»¡¡but¡¡the¡¡acquisition¡¡of¡¡books¡£¡¡There¡¡were¡¡books¡¡of¡¡which¡¡I¡¡had¡¡passionate¡¡need£»¡¡books¡¡more¡¡necessary¡¡to¡¡me¡¡than¡¡bodily¡¡nourishment¡£¡¡I¡¡could¡¡see¡¡them£»¡¡of¡¡course£»¡¡at¡¡the¡¡British¡¡Museum£»¡¡but¡¡that¡¡was¡¡not¡¡at¡¡all¡¡the¡¡same¡¡thing¡¡as¡¡having¡¡and¡¡holding¡¡them£»¡¡my¡¡own¡¡property£»¡¡on¡¡my¡¡own¡¡shelf¡£¡¡Now¡¡and¡¡then¡¡I¡¡have¡¡bought¡¡a¡¡volume¡¡of¡¡the¡¡raggedest¡¡and¡¡wretchedest¡¡aspect£»¡¡dishonoured¡¡with¡¡foolish¡¡scribbling£»¡¡torn£»¡¡blotted¡­¡­no¡¡matter£»¡¡I¡¡liked¡¡better¡¡to¡¡read¡¡out¡¡of¡¡that¡¡than¡¡out¡¡of¡¡a¡¡copy¡¡that¡¡was¡¡not¡¡mine¡£¡¡But¡¡I¡¡was¡¡guilty¡¡at¡¡times¡¡of¡¡mere¡¡self¡­indulgence£»¡¡a¡¡book¡¡tempted¡¡me£»¡¡a¡¡book¡¡which¡¡was¡¡not¡¡one¡¡of¡¡those¡¡for¡¡which¡¡I¡¡really¡¡craved£»¡¡a¡¡luxury¡¡which¡¡prudence¡¡might¡¡bid¡¡me¡¡forego¡£¡¡As£»¡¡for¡¡instance£»¡¡my¡¡Jung¡­Stilling¡£¡¡It¡¡caught¡¡my¡¡eye¡¡in¡¡Holywell¡¡Street£»¡¡the¡¡name¡¡was¡¡familiar¡¡to¡¡me¡¡in¡¡Wahrheit¡¡und¡¡Dichtung£»¡¡and¡¡curiosity¡¡grew¡¡as¡¡I¡¡glanced¡¡over¡¡the¡¡pages¡£¡¡But¡¡that¡¡day¡¡I¡¡resisted£»¡¡in¡¡truth£»¡¡I¡¡could¡¡not¡¡afford¡¡the¡¡eighteen¡­pence£»¡¡which¡¡means¡¡that¡¡just¡¡then¡¡I¡¡was¡¡poor¡¡indeed¡£¡¡Twice¡¡again¡¡did¡¡I¡¡pass£»¡¡each¡¡time¡¡assuring¡¡myself¡¡that¡¡Jung¡­Stilling¡¡had¡¡found¡¡no¡¡purchaser¡£¡¡There¡¡came¡¡a¡¡day¡¡when¡¡I¡¡was¡¡in¡¡funds¡£¡¡I¡¡see¡¡myself¡¡hastening¡¡to¡¡Holywell¡¡Street¡¡£¨in¡¡those¡¡days¡¡my¡¡habitual¡¡pace¡¡was¡¡five¡¡miles¡¡an¡¡hour£©£»¡¡I¡¡see¡¡the¡¡little¡¡grey¡¡old¡¡man¡¡with¡¡whom¡¡I¡¡transacted¡¡my¡¡business¡­¡­what¡¡was¡¡his¡¡name£¿¡­¡­the¡¡bookseller¡¡who¡¡had¡¡been£»¡¡I¡¡believe£»¡¡a¡¡Catholic¡¡priest£»¡¡and¡¡still¡¡had¡¡a¡¡certain¡¡priestly¡¡dignity¡¡about¡¡him¡£¡¡He¡¡took¡¡the¡¡volume£»¡¡opened¡¡it£»¡¡mused¡¡for¡¡a¡¡moment£»¡¡then£»¡¡with¡¡a¡¡glance¡¡at¡¡me£»¡¡said£»¡¡as¡¡if¡¡thinking¡¡aloud£º¡¡¡¨Yes£»¡¡I¡¡wish¡¡I¡¡had¡¡time¡¡to¡¡read¡¡it¡£¡¨
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XIII
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XIV
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