ould not take service under the Dutch Republic； as I for one could never have consented to do。
I find among my papers the letter accepting my resignation。 It is as follows：
Colonial Secretary’s Office；
Pretoria： May 31； 1879。
Sir； — I have the honour to acknowledge receipt of your letter of the 29th inst。 tendering the resignation of your office as Master and Registrar of the High Court； and to inform you by direction of his Excellency that he regrets that the Government should lose the services of an officer who has performed difficult duties so satisfactorily。
I have the honour； sir； to be
Your obedient Servant；
M。 Osborn；
Colonial Secretary。
I find also the following letter from Mr。 Kotze； the Chief Justice。
Pretoria； Transvaal： May 24； 1879。
My dear Haggard； — Before you leave Pretoria I desire to record my regret at losing your services as Master and Registrar of the High Court of this territory。
For two years you have discharged th
Chapter 7 MARRIAGE
Death of Prince Imperial — Justin Sheil； early friend of H。 R。 H。 — Thinks of being Trappist monk — H。 R。 H。 tries to dissuade him — Sheil takes simple vows — H。 R。 H。 visits him — Takes final vows as Brother Basil — Death of Father Basil； who had bee Sub…Prior — H。 R。 H。 returns home to Bradenham — Engaged to be married — Married August 11； 1880 — Jack Osborn； son of Sir Melmoth — H。 R。 H。 bees his guardian — Goes to school in England — Returns to South Africa and dies — Sir Melmoth Osborn’s gratitude to H。 R。 H。 and his father — He bees British Resident in Zululand — Origin of character of Alston in “The Witch’s Head” — Letters from Judge Kotze。
One of the last things that happened before I left South Africa was the slaying of the Prince Imperial by a Zulu outpost。 Well can I remember the thrill of horror； and； I may add； of shame； that this news sent through all the land。 Yet it has always seemed to me that the most of the blame should have fallen； not upon the unfortunate officer and his panions who were with the Prince； but on whoever allowed him to go out upon picket duty of so peculiarly dangerous a nature。 The incident itself is easily explained。 Nothing is more terrible than a sudden rush of savages on a little party that does not suspect their presence； especially when the attacking force may perhaps be numbered by hundreds。 The Englishmen concerned lost their heads； that was all。 It was a case of sauve qui peut。 Doubtless until it was too late they thought the Prince was with them。 Well； he died as anyone might be proud to die； and； as it seems probable； by his death changed the history of Europe； or at any rate the destiny of France； for doubtless； had he lived； his chance of succeeding to the imperial throne was excellent。 Again； one wonders whether such things happen by hazard； or if it were the hand of Fate that threw those assegais。
After an absence of four eventful years I arrived in England when I was a little over twenty…three； an age at which many young fellows nowadays seem to be； and indeed often are； but boys。 In one thing I was fortunate： I found all belonging to me alive and for the most part well。 With my two greatest friends of the Scoones’ period of my life； however； Arthur L。 and Justin Sheil； it was otherwise。 The former was dead； he was a good fellow； and I hope that some day and somewhere we may meet again。 Meanwhile God rest him！
My recollection is that Arthur L。‘s illness began in a form of religious mania。 If so； my other great friend； Justin Sheil； also passed into the shadow； or the glory； of religion。 Before proceeding further with my story； here I will tell his； although the end of it may cause me to anticipate。 This I do not only because he was； or rather is； dear to me； although he has long been dead — for I may truly say that the change of death has in no instance altered my affections； unless it be in the manner of increasing them — but for two added reasons。
Of these the first is that his case is the most perfect instance of what I may call the monastic mind that I have encountered。 The second is that I presume that the iron rules of the Trappist monks； save in questions strictly connected with the advantage of their Order； allow of the preservation of no human memorials of those who have passed on。 In their graveyard at Mount St。 Bernard’s Abbey I saw certain low mounds and； at the head of these； little nameless wooden crosses； all that remained of the brethren who had been called away。 Therefore I； a sinner； would make my humble offering to the Manes of a good man and say a few words that I trust may help to preserve his memory among those who e after us。
As it chances； certain letters that Sheil； or Brother Basil； as he came to be called in religion； wrote to me have survived； although I dare say that others are lost。 The first of these evidently was written in answer to one of mine sent to him after my return to England in 1879。 It is dated Mount St。 Bernard’s Abbey； Leicester； October 21st。
After congratulating me on my safe return to England； it says：
I suppose that you have not seen Walsh or the unfortunate Norris since you came； or they would probably have told you of my strange experiment here； I am thinking of being a monk of the Cistercian Order monly called Trappists。 If you have not heard it before I suppose you； who knew me better than most people； will be most surprised。 When I first came here I intended writing to you； but I had quite forgotten your address； and when I got it from my brother in New Zealand I thought I might as well wait till I had made up my mind whether to stop here or not。 I may say that I am still uncertain as to that； the life is hardish； and I am softish； but I am afraid of dropping back into my old ways if I leave； so I am hovering。 。 。 。
The next letter； dated October 26th； is evidently written in answer to one from myself； of the contents of which I have no recollection。 It is clear； however； from the context； that I attempted to dissuade Sheil from the career which he had chosen in language that must have seemed to him almost impertinent。 In fact to a strict Roman Catholic doubtless it was impertinent。 In youth most of us are intolerant； and I was no exception to the rule。 As we get on in life all such things vanish。 Personally today I am not prepared to quarrel with any religion worthy of the name； unless it be that of Mahomet in certain of its aspects。 I have learned that they all spring from the same light； though the world being； as it were； cut crystal； that light flows from its facets in different…coloured rays。 Here is the letter：
When I got； yesterday； your mysterious…looking letter labelled “Private” and with an awful black seal； I wondered what dark secrets it was going to unfold。 When I had read it I think that I should have been inclined to laugh if I had not been sorry that you should be the victim of such dull and stale delusions with regard to monks and the motives that induce a man to bee one。 You have used hard words； and you will let me add that I think it unworthy of a man of your mental quality to live year after year confronted by the Catholic Church （pulchritudo tam antiqua et tam nova） and be content to derive all your knowledge of it from some vulgar Protestant pamphlet； and all your ideas of its institutions and ways from what I suppose you were told in the nursery。 You go to the originals to discover what Hegel or te really teach； and you are eager enough to find out all about Darwinism； etc。； but as for Catholics； you not only don’t inquire from them what they really teach but you assume to lecture them。 Having relieved my mind so far； I can assure you your letter was far from giving me offence； on the contrary； I know very well you are not singular in your views； and that many who call themselves my friends think the same； but you are the only one who has taken sufficient interest in the matter to tell me so； and therefore I thank you。 I don’t intend to defend the monastic state。 It has existed since the beginning of the fourth century； has been continually attacked； and yet it has flourished； all Catholics look and have looked on it as a higher and more perfect state； and therefore I will assume it； it has been often and eloquently defended； and moreover it could not be done in a letter。 However； the fact that it is good in itself is not at all a conclusive reason why I should embrace it； and if you had tried to dissuade me from it on the score that I had made myself unfit and unworthy for it I should have had very little to answer。 I did not e here in consequence of any trouble of the kind you allude to； nor any other； nor in a fit of disgust。 When I said I was afraid if I left of dropping into my old ways； I meant the idle； aimless； useless life I led when you knew me and some time after： my only object was pleasure and happiness； and I was unscrupulous in trying to get them。 However； about six months previous to ing here I had made a great change and lived more or less as a Catholic should： I had got out of Chancery and paid my debts and begun reading for the Bar in a Conveyancer’s rooms； and it was under these circumstances that I came here； and it is what I shall resume if I leave。 I prefer London and Paris to Africa how fair soever be its skies； and the Park to the Sahara。 You see my prospects in the world are not so darkened as you think； nevertheless they do not wear a very fascinating smile to my eyes。 For； take everything at its best and assume that I should succeed in everything： after many years’ drudging I should be a successful barrister； and perhaps end by being a judge if I was very lucky。 What good should I have done my fellow…men by that？ Don’t you know that when a man in practice dies； a hundred rejoice； thinking that they will get some of his work； for one who is sorry？ Do you feel grateful to a lawyer worn out with briefs； as if he were a public benefactor in consenting to work in the world instead of retiring to some rural or suburban retreat？ Judging by the ordinary run of man； in fifty years I should be a crabbed bachelor； or still worse a tormented and disappointed married man — not much better than your “soured monk。” Besides； I believe in the immortality of the soul； and in fact it was the great “hereafter” which weighed on my mind and prevented my being content with prospects which sound well enough to most people。 And if I made myself my own and only centre in this life； why should I at the hour of death suddenly change and love my Creator； and if I did not what chance should I have of enjoying Him？ You will say that it is possible to love God in the world； and so it is： the thing I am trying to decide is where it will be easiest for me to do so。 It may be more heroic to remain and fight your battles bravely； but permit me； where the consequences of defeat are so hideous； who really am in such matters nothing but a coward； who have been so often overe； at least to think of flight。
I repeat I have decided nothing； the Church insists upon people being tried for two years at least before taking simple vows （i。e。 that can be dissolved by the superiors if they find you unfit）； and five years before taking solemn vows； which can only be dissolved by the Pope。 pare this caution with the approve