all goes well； this； I suppose； is one of the best things that can happen to a young fellow。 It steadies him and gives him an object in life： someone for whom to work。 If all goes ill； it is one of the worst； for then the reverse is apt to e about。 It unsteadies him； makes him reckless； and perhaps throws him in the way of undesirable adventures。 In my case； in the end all went wrong； or seemed to do so at the time。
I was taken by a friend to a ball at Richmond； who gave it I have long forgotten。 There I saw a very beautiful young lady a few years older than myself to whom I was instantly and overwhelmingly attracted。 I say beautiful advisedly； for to my mind she was one of the three really lovely women whom I have seen in my life。 The second was the late Duchess of Leinster； and the third was a village girl at Bradenham who was reported to be the daughter of a gentleman。 She； poor thing； died quite young。
At length the ball came to an end and I escorted this lady back to her carriage — she was driving back to London alone — with the intelligent object of ascertaining where she lived。 In this； by the way； I failed； either I did not catch the address or it was too vague and general。 Ultimately； however； I overcame that difficulty by a well…directed inquiry at a butcher’s shop in what I knew to be the neighbourhood。 It occurred to me that even goddesses must eat。
The reason that I mention this matter is that quite a curious coincidence is connected with it。 The house where the ball took place had a garden in front； down which garden ran a carpeted path。 At the end of the path a great arch had been erected for the occasion； and through this arch I followed the young lady。 Some thirty…five years later I was present at her death…bed — for happily I was able to be of service to her in her later life — and subsequently； with my wife； who had bee her friend many years before； was one of the few mourners at her funeral。 At the church where this took place it is the custom to carry out coffins through the big western door。 As I followed hers the general aspect of the arch of this door reminded me of something； at the moment I could not remember what。 Then it came back to me。 It was exactly like that other arch through which I had followed her to her carriage on the night when first we met。 Also； strangely different as were the surroundings； there were accessories； floral and other； that were similar in their general effect。
I think I was about a year and a half at Scoones’； making many friends； collecting many experiences and some knowledge of the world。 How much book knowledge I collected I do not know； nor whether I should have passed for the Foreign Office if I had gone up。 But it was not fated that I should do so。 In the summer vacation of 1875 I went to join my family； whom； in the course of one of his continual expeditions； my father had settled for a while at Tours。 I travelled via Paris； which I found looking almost itself again。 On the last occasion that I had visited it the Column Vendome was lying shattered on the ground； the public statues were splashed over with the lead of bullets； and great burnt…out buildings stared at me emptily。 I remembered a young Frenchman whom I knew taking me to a spot backed by a high wall where shortly before he had seen； I think he said； 300 munists executed at once。 He told me that the soldiers fired into the moving heap until at length it grew still。 On the wall were the marks of their bullets。
At Tours I did not live with my family； but with an old French professor and his wife — I think their name was Demeste — in order that I might pursue my studies of the language。
Whilst I was at Tours； making expeditions with the others to see old castles and so forth； my father saw in the Times； or heard otherwise； that Sir Henry Bulwer had been appointed to the Lieutenant…Governorship of Natal。 Now my father was a man of ideas who never lost a chance of finding an opening for one of his sons； and the Bulwers of Heydon in Norfolk were； as it happened； old friends of our family。 So he wrote off at once and asked Sir Henry if he would take me with him to Africa on his staff。 Sir Henry assented； which was extremely kind of him； as I do not remember that he had ever set eyes on me。
Accordingly in a week or two Scoones’ and the Foreign Office had faded into the past； and I reported myself to my future chief in London； where he set me to work at once ordering wine and other stores to be consumed at Government House in Natal。
Chapter 3 NATAL
Leave for South Africa with Sir Henry Bulwer — Arrive Cape Town — Government House — Lady Barkly — Bishop Colenso — Go on to Durban — Then to Pietermaritzburg — Reception of Sir H。 Bulwer there — Sir George Colley — Duties of H。 R。 H。 at Government House — Buck…hunting — Journey up…country to Weenen — Zulu customs — Witch…finding — Pagate’s kraal — Great native war…dance — Lost in bush — Saved by Kaffir — More about Bishop Colenso — Sir Theophilus Shepstone — His friendship for H。 R。 H。 — His character and policy — Captain Cox。
Here I ought to say a few words about Sir Henry Bulwer； who； I am glad to say； is still living； and whom I often meet at the Athenaeum Club。 Indeed； within the last few months he has read a book of mine named “Marie” in proof； which book I have dedicated to him。 I was anxious that he should read it； for he is an old man； and who knows whether he will be alive when it is published a year or so hence！
For Sir Henry Bulwer I have and always shall retain the greatest affection and regard； indeed； he is my beau…ideal of what an English gentleman should be。 Also his kindness to me was great。 When first I know him some thirty…six years ago； he was about forty； and an extremely able public servant； who had received his training in various Colonial appointments。 He was most painstaking and careful in all his methods； but to me his weak point seemed to be that he always saw so much of both sides of the case that he found it difficult to make up his mind which of them he ought to follow。
My farewells were hurried。 I find among the few documents that I have preserved of this period one from my mother which is signed by all the members of the family who were at Tours； wishing me good fortune and good…bye。 Also — and this is more valuable — there is a copy of some verses which she addressed to me。 These I quote below。
TO MY SON RIDER
（On leaving home。 July 1875）
And thus； my son； adown Life’s vernal tide
？Light drifting； hast thou reached her troublous sea；
Where never more thy bark may idly glide；
？But shape her course to gain the far To be！
Rise to thy destiny！ Awake thy powers！
？Mid throng of men enact the man’s full part！
No more with mists of doubt dim golden hours；
？But with strong Being fill thine eager heart！
Nieen short summers o’er thy youthful head
？Have shone and ripened as they flitted by：
May their rich fruit o’er ing years be shed；
？And make God’s gift of life a treasury。
That Life is granted； not in Pleasure’s round；
？Or even Love’s sweet dream； to lapse content：
Duty and Faith are words of solemn sound；
？And to their echoes must thy soul be bent。
Conscience shall hallow all； grant noble aim；
？And firm resolve the paths of vice to shun；
And haply； in reward； Love’s lambent flame
？Through storms of life shall shine； like Earth’s fair sun！
But a few days： and far across the flood；
？To stranger lands with strangers wilt thou roam；
Yet shall not absence loose the bonds of blood；
？Or still the voices of thy distant home。
So； go thy way； my Child！ I love thee well：
？How well； no heart but mother’s heart may know —
Yet One loves better； — more than words can tell； —
？Then trust Him； now and evermore； — and go！
Ella Haggard。
July 16； 1875。
I think them beautiful lines。 Moreover they are typical of the writer。
Duty and Faith are words of solemn sound；
Well； duty and faith were the stars by which she guided her own life。
Of our voyage to Africa there is little to be said except that in those days it was long。 On arriving at Cape Town we went to Government House； where we stayed for about a week with Lady Barkly。
Government House is； or was； a large； quaint old place — I have not seen it from that day to this — which had the reputation of being haunted by a certain Grey Lady who had lived there generations before in the old Dutch days。
Since these chapters were written some letters of mind have been found at Bradenham。 From one of these； dealing with my arrival in South Africa； I e passages：
Government House
Cape Town： August 18； 1875。
My dear Father； — You will see from the heading of my letter that I have arrived all safe at Cape Town。 We have not made a very quick passage； nor yet a very slow one。 。 。 。 Among other things we got up a sort of penny reading on board； for which I wrote the Prologue。 I also had a good deal of work to do； getting up all the Langalibalele case and extracting the pith from a mass of blue…books。 It is not easy to get at the truth when it is hedged round by such a mass of contradictory evidence。 However the whole affair is rather interesting； inasmuch as it gives you an idea of the tremendous state of ferment and excitement the Colony was and still is in 。 。 。 。
We arrived here early yesterday morning； expecting to find Sir Gar Wolseley waiting for us； but he has not yet returned from Natal； which is very awkward； as we do not know whether to wait for him or to go on and meet him there。 。 。 。
I am getting on all right； though my position is not an easy one。 I find myself responsible for everything； and everybody es and bothers me。 However it all es in the day’s work。 I don’t know yet if I am private secretary； but I suppose I am as nobody else has appeared。 I make a good many blunders； but still I think I get on very well on the whole。 I expect I shall have a tremendous lot of work at Natal as the Chief told me that he was going to entertain a good deal； and all that will fall on my shoulders in addition to business。 We are very good friends and shall； I think； continue to be so； as he is not a captious or changeable man。 。 。 。 Beaumont； who was secretary to Pine （the late Governor of Natal）； puts me up to a lot of things； he is an excessively nice fellow and we are great allies 。 。 。 。
The merchants of Cape Town give a ball tomorrow night to which I am invited。 It will be a good opportunity of studying the Cape Town aristocracy。 I have just returned from calling on the Bishop。 The Barklys have a first…rate four…inhand and we went through a beautiful country； so our drive was a pleasant one。 I like the Bishop very much。 He is a thorough specimen of muscular Christianity。 。 。 。 This continual influx of strangers has a very depressing effect。 There is another big dinner on to…night； and there won’t be a soul I know among them unless Beaumont es； which I devoutly hope he will。 All these new faces that you don’t know make you think of the old ones that you do know。 。 。 。 I hope that you are quite well now； my dear Father； and that you do not miss me as much as I do you。
I remain； with best love to all；
Ever your most affectionate and dutiful son；
H。 Rider Haggard （or “Waggart” as they put my name
in the paper）。
My mother will pity me